193: Honor Your Journey: Self Compassion, Your Body, and Reaching Goals

Kimberly: 0:00

I just want you to remember that now is the time to honor your body. We don't wait till our kids are out of the house, until we've, you know, got the promotion or done all the things. Right now is the time.

Camille: 0:23

So you want to make an impact. You're thinking about starting a business, sharing your voice. How do women do it that handle motherhood, family and still chase after those dreams? We'll listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know this is Call Me CEO. Welcome back everyone to call me ceo.

Camille: 0:55

This episode is special because it is a recorded webinar that I recorded with two of my friends. Each of these ladies is a dear friend of mine. Britney crane is the host of get out there girl on. She takes women all over the country doing incredible adventurous things. But she just recently came out with a self-compassion course and workbook which she's going to tell us about and the tools of self-compassion. And Kimberly Walker is a friend of mine who does health and fitness practices to honoring your body where you are currently. And then I am sharing with you how to get unstuck in goal setting, how to actually move that needle so that you're reaching your goals, and we're going to dive in. So thank you so much for tuning in today and next week we'll go back to our regularly programmed solo episode.

Camille: 1:42

Welcome everyone. We're so excited about tonight's event and we understand you are all incredibly busy, amazing women. We want to know where you're tuning in from, just so we can give you a shout out and say hello. And thank you again for being here tonight, as Brittany and Kimberly and I have put a lot of thought into this and all around helping you women, especially in May. I feel like May is craziness and we all know this that we're just going from day to day, practice to practice, car ride to car ride to get where we need to go. So thank you for taking the time to invest in yourself for the Empower your Journey event. Each of us are going to take a couple of minutes to introduce who we are, what our topic is. So, brittany, will you please go ahead and introduce yourself.

Britanny: 2:27

Yes, I am Brittany Crane. I run the Instagram. Get Out there, girl. I host hiking, monthly hiking events and quarterly retreats for women who that are like adventure retreats, outdoor retreats, and I love self-compassion. I'm so excited to talk to you all about self-compassion tonight. I can't think of a better topic to talk about. That just like overflows from my heart and that I can yell from the rooftop. So I'm really excited to chat tonight.

Camille: 2:57

Awesome. Thank you, and Kimberly, are you in a good spot to share?

Kimberly: 3:01

Yes, yes, I was just following up on a last minute email to anyone who may not have gotten it, making sure we're all here. There's so many great women that wanted to be here tonight, and so thank you for those who are here. I'm really grateful for you taking time out of your busy lives. There's a million things you could be doing, but you chose to come tonight, so thank you. My name is Kimberly Walker and I am an exercise physiologist by trade, and I also am the group fitness coordinator at the Huntsman Cancer Institute, but I have started a business on the side, and Honor your Body is the platform, and I'm just excited to share about that tonight. I empower you to move your body and really choose movement that feels right for you and modify the movement to fit your needs instead of the other way around, and I'm really passionate about that and glad to share that message tonight.

Camille: 3:51

Very cool and I am Camille Walker. I am a blogger, a podcaster and business coach, so I actually celebrate women building businesses. The my podcast call me CEO. This is going to be live there, so if you ever want to relisten to this, that is an option for you as well, and my passion is about helping women find the right balance for the season of life that they are in. It doesn't mean that you have a perfect balance, but that you can approach your life in a way that brings happiness and joy and fulfillment.

Camille: 4:22

So I'm introducing a group coaching that I'm offering with my sister tonight and also tonight, really focusing on how to create goals that stick. So, so excited that you're all here we still have more people trickling in. Go ahead and get started. Make sure that you are on mute as we are recording this for later. Listening and how it's going to work is each of us is going to share 15 minutes about self-compassion, honoring your body and then creating goals that stick, and then we'll wrap up for any questions or last minute things that need to be tied up. So thank you again for being here, and we are going to start with Brittany.

Britanny: 5:00

So today, I'm really excited. I launched my new self-compassion course this morning, and so I cannot think of a better thing to talk about tonight than this of self-compassion. She is the head researcher of self-compassion. She has devoted her life to researching self-compassion and proving that it makes a difference, that it changes lives, and I got to meet her a couple months ago and I was completely starstruck. It was. I felt like I was meeting Taylor Swift. She was so kind, she spoke to us and then afterwards I got to go up and give her a big hug and just tell her thank you for changing my life. Thank you for all of the research, all of the time, all the books that you've written that have gotten me on my journey to a kinder, more peaceful life. Really. I'll share a little bit more about how completely it's changed my life.

Britanny: 6:09

But 10 years ago what happened is I met with a therapist and was kind of unloading all of my obstacles and all of my issues onto my therapist and asking for her help, and she told me I think you should try self-compassion, brittany, and at first I just kind of dismissed it. I thought there's no way that self-compassion is is going to work for me. I don't believe in participation trophies. I don't want to pat myself. I thought that it couldn't work for me. I thought I want to be a high achiever, I want to achieve a lot and I don't want to pat myself on the back for a job that's less than ideal. And so she kind of laughed at me and was like, just give it a try, brittany, and see what can come of it. And so I told her I would. I read Kristen Neff's book and I started trying it out and it completely changed everything. So today I want to tell you the basic principles of self-compassion and how it can change your life and why you need it.

Britanny: 7:13

So first let's start about what self-compassion is. Self-compassion is essentially just treating yourself like you would treat a good friend. It's so natural for us to have compassion for somebody that we love and we see hurting or we see struggling. If your best friend were to come to you with a problem and you were to listen to them, how would you respond to them? How would you react to them? And what self-compassion is? Is it's reacting to yourself in that same loving self-compassion is? Is it's reacting to yourself in that same loving, compassionate, kind way?

Britanny: 7:53

And so I have this list of different things, qualities that can you know, different obstacles that can be in our way, like self-doubt, anxiety, depression, critical thoughts, low self-esteem, fear of failure, insecurity and burnout. Now, those are things that I struggled with. I struggled with every single one of those things throughout my life, and it wasn't until I found self-compassion that it unlocked all of those for me. And instead, with self-compassion, it was replaced with confidence, a willingness to try new things and to set high goals, high self-worth. My worth isn't dependent on outside sources anymore. I know my identity and it's set um reduced stress. I don't get caught up in things that I shouldn't be caught up with, and I let things go easier life satisfaction, growth, mindset, peace and motivation like true motivation, the motivation that you, you know you need to change.

Britanny: 8:50

And so today, let's go through the four basic principles of self compassion. So this is just going to be like a sample. I want to introduce you to it tonight and then give you the tools that you need to continue your journey, if it's something that you think that you want to pursue more, which I hope you do. So the first few principles are the first one is awareness. It's just learning to recognize when you're feeling emotions and what emotions you are feeling, and I'm willing to bet that your life is so busy that you actually don't even recognize when you're feeling an emotion and what emotions you're feeling, until it's too late, until they come out in unhealthy ways, and then you're like, oh no, I'm actually, I'm actually feeling this way, and even then sometimes we push it down and we distract ourselves because we don't want to deal with it. And so that's the first principle of self-compassion is just being aware of, of the emotion and when you're feeling emotions.

Britanny: 9:58

The second step is mindfulness, and that is just taking the time to allow yourself to feel the emotions that you're feeling. You don't push them away, you actually allow yourself, you welcome them in and let yourself feel it. The third step is acceptance, and that's just connecting yourself to humanity, realizing that you are a human being and every human being experiences pain, every human being makes mistakes. You are not capable of perfection, and when you accept that, you're more able to accept your failures and you're able to try more, because you know that it's okay if you fail and things don't work out exactly how you had planned because you're a human and that's just part of life You're able to see the big picture and see that other people struggle too, and it connects you to them. It's a wonderful and important step of self-compassion.

Britanny: 10:59

And then the last step is applying kindness, that same kindness that you would give to a friend who was struggling. You give to yourself. So you talk to yourself kindly, you understand why you probably acted the way that you did, and you set an affirmation and encourage yourself to do better and do it in a loving way. So let's try this out with some examples. Actually, first, let's talk about this tea set that I have.

Britanny: 11:30

In this picture of this tea set, there's a wonderful book called Radical Acceptance. It's by an author named Tara Brock, and she has this crazy idea and it's actually so fascinating and so wonderful. She tells you that emotions are actually messengers that are trying to teach you a lesson, and you should invite your emotions to tea. That's why I have a tea set here. So, instead of resisting your emotions and saying I don't have time for that, that's uncomfortable, I don't want to do that, let me distract myself. Where's my phone? Where's Instagram? What's you know? How can I stay busy, so that I don't feel this emotion that's making me uncomfortable? Instead, you invite it to tea and you sit down with it and you ask yourself what is this trying to teach me? Why am I feeling this emotion and what is it telling me about myself?

Britanny: 12:27

So often, emotions will tell you something key about yourself, about your soul, maybe something that your soul needs, that it makes you sad and you could just feel sad and move on and not learn from it, but it's going to keep poking you. It's going to keep coming back until you address it and you learn from it, and often it will come out in unhealthy ways, and so self-compassion is actually going to help you not lose your temper on your kids, not lose your temper on your boss or your spouse. It's going to help you deal and process your emotions in healthy ways so that they don't come out in unhealthy ways. I love this quote.

Britanny: 13:14

Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way is to dispel it, and a way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see it through your resistance. I think often we get scared that if we allow an emotion, allow ourselves to feel emotion, that we'll get stuck in it. That if we allow ourselves to feel sadness, that we'll get stuck and we'll feel sad for a long time or forever. But that's not the truth. The truth is is that if you invite it to tea, if you learn from it and ask yourself, get curious about what this emotion is meant to teach you, you let yourself feel it and it passes, it goes its way, it did its job and then you're allowed to fill in your next emotion. And the truth is, as human beings, we are highly emotional people and that's okay.

Britanny: 14:08

I used to see my highly emotional self as a weakness. I thought my emotions were weakness, and it wasn't until I learned about self-compassion that I realized my highly emotional nature is actually a gift. I am able to teach myself often through my emotions, and I'm excited for you to listen to your emotions and let them teach you as well. So I wanted to do this brief example. If you can, you can stand up, if not, just sit down in your seat and I want you to hold your arms out in front of me, out in front of you, and then I want you to clench your fists really hard, like you're. You're holding something tight, you're white knuckling something, and I just hold your arms straight out in front of you with your your fist clenched, and hold that while I keep talking to you. Okay, don't let that go. So keep holding. Let's go through an example of this awareness. So this is when you notice an emotion. I'm going to give you an example from my own life.

Britanny: 15:12

I snapped at my husband and it wasn't until later that I was like, oh wait, I didn't mean to snap at him. Why am I feeling upset at him? Like, why am I irritable with him? And so then I I noticed right and I got curious. I asked myself why I let myself feel that irritation and I invited it to tea. Then I got mindful. That was my mindfulness, and then I accepted okay, what is this irritability about? And I learned from it. And actually I was holding a lot within myself. I was holding a lot of other people's problems on my shoulders. I'm an empath and so I was actually taking my friends that were venting to me and different problems, divorces and different just trials and hard things. I was taking it all on me and I was so busy with life that I didn't notice how I was absorbing everybody's problems. And that got really, really heavy and because I didn't address it, because I wasn't aware of it, it came out in an unhealthy way.

Britanny: 16:23

And it wasn't until I got irritable and snapped at my husband that I was like wait a second, that's, that's not what I want. I don't want to snap, I don't want to fight with him. Let's back up and rewind and see the bigger picture. And I was able to unpack it. Then I was able to accept okay, brittany, you made a mistake, and this is where, if you're still holding your arms out with your fists clenched, I want you to relax, let those hands go, your fists unclench, drop your shoulders and take a deep breath. That's how I felt when I unpacked it, when I found the core issue of what was really going on. Unpacked it when I found the core issue of what was really going on, and I just accepted like, wow, brittany, actually you've been taking a lot on, you've been absorbing everybody else's trials and you haven't dealt with it, you haven't talked about it, you haven't done anything about it, you haven't processed it, and so it's just been really heavy. Once I was able to unpack that, I was able to give some kindness to myself, give myself some grace and be like, ok, I don't want to do that, I don't want to feel that way. I was able to release that. And then I was able to go to my husband and tell him hey, I'm sorry that I snapped at you. It wasn't really about you, it was about me. I was feeling all of these heavy things. I was able to open up to him. He listened and he held space for me and it made sense. He was able to forgive me for snapping at him and we had a beautiful connecting experience together where he listened to me and I was able to be vulnerable with him.

Britanny: 18:03

That's the power of self-compassion. That's the power. It takes you from clenched fists, white knuckling it, to dropping shoulders, taking a deep breath and relaxing. That's why you can have a peaceful life. That's how you can stop yelling at your kids. That's how you can mend your marriage. That's how you start chasing your dreams.

Britanny: 18:26

That's the key is self-compassion. It's it's being able to look at yourself clearly through a bigger picture, a clearer lens, holding yourself accountable. Remember, at the beginning I was worried that I would just be patting myself on the back and excusing bad behavior. That's not self-compassion at all. It's actually holding yourself accountable, seeing yourself clearly, but also seeing yourself as a human being that makes mistakes, and then you're able to give yourself grace. You can repeat an affirmation. I love affirmations. I love telling myself after I apply kindness, being like, okay, I'm capable, I can set a new goal to not yell at my kids this next week, or I can set a new goal to practice gratitude this week. That's where that motivation comes. It's truly motivating to be kind to yourself.

Britanny: 19:22

So this last slide and then I'm going to turn the time over to Kimberly. I, like I said this morning, I launched my course and I'm so excited about it. I put a link here and I can put it in the chat notes as well. I want to offer it to you. If you use the code launch, you'll get $50 off, and what it is is. It's a 15 day online course with videos, the workbook and journal pages, because I want you to understand and unlock where your critical voice comes from. Why do you speak unkind to yourself? Where does that come from? Is it something that you grew up to? And so I've? I've given you lots of journal pages and and journal prompts and different things. It's, it's a wonderful course I'm also going to offer you if you sign up this month, I'm going to offer you three months of small group coaching.

Britanny: 20:09

That's going to be on the second Wednesday of every month and I can list those dates off for you when you sign up for the course. And then a lifetime access to my private Facebook community for self-compassion. And actually, if you sign up before the 19th of this month, I'm going to mail you a hard copy of the workbook. The way that it works now is you get the course and PDF versions of the workbook that you can print off for yourself, or you can pay extra for it to be mailed to you, but I'm going to give this to you for free if you sign up before the 19th. And I'm also going to give you some mountain earrings and a mountain necklace, which is really cute.

Britanny: 20:49

So I just want to incentivize you to get on your journey to self-compassion. Let me hand it to you on a silver platter, let me hold your hand and walk you through learning how to apply those four steps that I talked to you about today. Let's unlock your potential. Let's get rid of some of the obstacles. Let's not deal with anxiety and depression and lack, you know, low self-worth. Let's, let's unlock that and let's give you that peace and that confidence that's waiting for you. And yeah, I'm just so excited. The link is there for you. If you have any other questions, type them in the chat and you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook at Get Out there Girl, and I will always be available there as well If you have any follow-up questions.

Camille: 21:38

Awesome. Thank you so much, brittany. I have taken the self-compassion workbook. I haven't taken the course yet because it wasn't available, but it is truly life-changing and I know anyone that is interested and does it is going to be so grateful. They did it. It's just life-changing. So thank you to everyone who has joined. There's been a few late comers, so this is recorded and will be reshared on my podcast Call Me CEO. So if you missed it, no stress on my podcast, call me CEO. So if you missed it, no stress. We will be sending it out and also putting it on my podcast as well. And just a quick reminder to mute so that the recording stays the quality. So next up is Kimberly and she is going to be talking to us about honoring our body.

Kimberly: 22:19

Awesome Today. I'm just really well tonight. I'm really happy, first off, that the snow has stopped a little bit. If you are in Utah, then I'm grateful for the moisture and everything. But man, I went into the tulip festival festival on Saturday. I'm sure it hit us all in different ways, but that snow is like a doozy and also for the I know a couple of you on here. I just want to say a personal hello, thank you for being here. And those who I don't know, I'm really grateful to get to connect with you here tonight.

Kimberly: 22:48

All right, so the meaning of honor your body really, I kind of bolded the main words that I want to have you stick in your mind when you think of your body, which a lot of us, I know we we've we may struggle still with, um, body image kind of issues or concerns. Um, the meaning of honoring, honoring your body is respecting it and not just like when we think about, okay, what our body does for us right and what we're capable of, but being able to care for your body in a way that each day you're you're nourishing it, you're loving it and um, I just think that's so important that we're respecting it, we're listening to its cues. So often, many times, our body's giving us cues and we ignore them. Many, many years I worked, um, in a field field helping people strengthen their body and working in oncology, and I saw many times where I wasn't honoring my body, I was ignoring those signals. You're really tired, this is, you're kind of burnt out, you know, and sometimes you get to a certain moment where you're like I can't ignore these signals anymore, right, and you have to do something about it. Can't ignore these signals anymore, right, and you have to do something about it. And I think, as women, because we're so self-sacrificing by nature, we tend to ignore and not respect our bodies and not honor it. And that is the message that I want you to take away tonight is that honoring your body and taking care of yourself helps you to care for other people and to be and show up the best that you can. And I we've all heard it before the like. We can't, um, you know, pour from an empty tank or drive a car with no gas, all of those things, but truly, like, I know the difference of when we can take the time to fuel our own tanks and care for ourselves, we can give to others. So really responding with nourishing food for me.

Kimberly: 24:52

I had to work with a dietician. It was hard for me because I'm like I should know this, you know, but I didn't. I had to admit like I was super confused. There was so many, so much misinformation out there that as a practitioner, I had gotten confused, and so working with a dietitian myself truly helps me to overcome some of the misinformation that had been flooded my way.

Kimberly: 25:13

Um, and you know, everybody's unique. I have, like my family's Dutch and German and a few other things, but I've got like broad shoulders and like my brother's a wrestler, and I'm like, okay, what's the deal? Like I just have this like strong, muscular body, and growing up I just was like, oh, I don't like this, you know. And so I had to realize like this is a gift, my body's a gift and I can use this gift to do powerful things and me playing small is not serving anybody, right. And that's the same for you guys, if you just know that, whatever you have, and use that gift, that body, that you have to do all the important things you need to do and not let it hold you back. It's. It's so important to do that, um, and really if we can work on that last one cultivating a positive relationship with our body based on acceptance. Acceptance it's not like, okay, well, this is just how I am and I got to deal with it. Acceptance means, yes, appreciating what you have, but then also committing to making it stronger and nourishing it and loving it Right. It's not a complacency thing, it's a I'm going to work on and that's what like. If you've heard of acceptance and commitment therapy, that's what that is all about. Or emotionally focused therapy.

Kimberly: 26:36

So, really quick, when you're exercising, I want you to think about what it means to honor your body. When I say modifying movement to fit your needs, what are your needs when you're moving? Most people, as instructors, we appeal to people's needs for safety, and so when we modify movement to fit your needs, we want you to be safe. It's not safe to try to keep up with the high fitness class. It's not safe to do 20 extra reps than you really want to just because you're in a group and you feel the pressure to look like you're in shape even though you haven't worked out in six months and you just had a baby or whatnot. Right, working around pain, not working through it, is a great way to honor your body. That's really important, as I have worked with cancer patients over the years, helping them to get back on their feet after treatment. It's so, so important that we work around the pain and not through it. So think about how that can apply to your movement routine, um, and then you know doing what's best for your body rather than going with the group we talked about that, um. The most important thing at the bottom here is choosing an experienced, credentialed instructor. There are many weekend warrior instructors out there who might be really good at marketing but don't have education and skills to modify movement safely, and they may give you exercise that is not safe for your body or your comorbidities or various conditions that you might be managing, whether it's orthopedic issues, things like that. So it's so important to find the right practitioner. This is something I wanted to share with you guys because I think it's really important.

Kimberly: 28:23

Menstrual cycle when we're talking about honoring our bodies as women, we do have to consider that our body goes through these phases. This may be new information for you, but like and not everyone views it this way we really are. We have these different phases that we go through, and these are the days of the month. Day one is basically the first day of your bleed, and during this time period we have certain like we're lower energy, right. We are needing more time to just relax, more internal time. For me, this is like I'm like Hallmark movie. Okay, I just watch a Hallmark movie, my kids want to be with me, they can watch it with me and, oh, my goodness, wow, guys, who wants to come do my slides for me? Anyone, all right.

Kimberly: 29:11

So, and then follicular, um days six through 13, and that's more like your spring. So you're starting to feel a little bit better. You move into ovulation. That's the summer. It's actually only a very short period, it's 12 to 24 hours and that's when you feel your best, like you're just like glowing. That that would be if you can schedule your family pictures that day, do it, um. And then the luteal, the fall. That's when you start having that big drop in energy to drop in progesterone and um. So the reason I on the corner, I have hit hit list lists.

Kimberly: 29:44

So during follicular and ovulation, that's when you want to do these more high intensity interval type movements, and you've probably heard the debate about high intensity interval training. It is not for everyone, especially as it can produce more cortisol. So it's important that you do work with someone who can help you manage how, how, what level you should be working and what intensities you should be working at, and and certain times of the month you may the low impact, steady state cardio, maybe just what you need. Maybe it's like a beat bar class or yoga or, um, a more gentle Pilates class, more mindfulness-based movements that you do in those other two phases. So be thinking about that and let's see.

Kimberly: 30:35

So this last thing is there's a ladder here. We don't want to spend so much time climbing a ladder only to realize it's against the wrong wall. I put that there because I've been thinking about it a lot in preparing for this is. Many times we think we want one thing and we're working so hard and we realize, okay, now my adrenals are burned out and my vitamin D is low because I didn't ever work with a doctor. I did 4,000 high class high classes, or I did this or that, but I didn't actually see a doctor regularly to get my blood drawn. Or you know, I always recommend women work with a woman health specialist specifically, um, to manage their blood levels, because for years I didn't know. My vitamin D was low and I started to have like achy joints and I was like, is this arthritis? Like what's going on? I was really legitimately concerned and so, working with my practitioner, I was able to find out okay, I needed to do some additional supplements. I wasn't getting it all through my diet. Ideally I would, but I wasn't able to, and now it's 805. So I'm going to hurry and just kind of wrap up on these last few here. So the current guidelines, if you want to screenshot this, they're all here.

Kimberly: 31:42

I want you to think of muscle as the organ of longevity. It's the most important thing you can work to attain in your movement routine. Keeping that muscle on is going to help protect your body long-term, prevent falls, all the important stuff, and really the goal is just to move more and sit less. Megan and I, again, we're working together and this is just kind of an overview of why it's so important to work um in your scope of practice and it allows us to keep up with the ethical and professional standards and really just optimize results. So I think that kind of covers everything.

Kimberly: 32:18

It's. It's a lot to back in, right, um. But yeah, this is a little testimonial from one of our participants that I wanted to share with you guys, and I just want you to remember that now is the time to honor your body. We don't wait till our kids are out of the house, until we've, you know, got the promotion or done all the things. Right now is the time, and if you can get those kids out the door with you, whatever it takes, just get moving. And that's hard when it's snowy to believe that's a good idea. But hey, brittany, you're a good example of that getting out there.

Camille: 32:55

Awesome. Thank you so much. As you can tell, kimberly is a massive source of knowledge and professionalism and has helped so many incredible people, so thank you so much for sharing that. Really, this is just scratching the surface. I know we almost feel like rushed, like oh, but there's so much more. But we also want to be respectful of your time and appreciate that you're here.

Camille: 33:15

So today I am sharing with you how to create goals that stick, and this topic oh my gosh, I have thought about this quite a bit on what am I going to say? Because goals can be interpreted so many different ways. So this is something that came to mind that I really related to, and I hope that this rings true to you too. So, with the myth of Sisyphus, he was this is a Greek myth, if you're familiar with this at all. He was actually a cunning King who angered the gods and as punishment, he was forced to roll a massive boulder up a Hill, only to watch it roll back and repeat this struggle for eternity. And I don't know about you, but that sounds absolutely terrible. And so, as we're talking about goals today, we're going to talk about how because we have neuroplasticity and we can change the function of our brains. We can go from feeling like Sisyphus, where we're doing the same thing over and over, rolling back down the hill with our goals, and actually making progress because of our brain's ability to rewrite the way that we think and the way we approach our goals, and actually making progress because of our brain's ability to rewrite the way that we think and the way we approach our goals. I know that when I have gone through this, sisyphus syndrome is what I called it. It can lead to overwhelm, because, as busy people, we have places to be and goals to reach, and it can also lead to self negative self-talk, where we're not getting everything done, so we beat ourselves up, and then that leads to failure, thinking that you don't know if you're ever going to get out of that loop and you're starting over and over again, and so that's what we want to avoid is the idea of this Sisyphus syndrome.

Camille: 34:55

So there's something called the brain habit loop, and I wanted to talk about that a little bit, because what can happen whether it's a good habit or a bad habit, is that we can create loops within our brains that create systems or pathways that it's used to, and the cue is the trigger that kicks off the habit or behavior. The routine is the habit you want to change or reinforce and the reward is the payoff that satisfies the craving which drove the routine. And, like I said, this can be something that is really great, a habit and a cue that we've created with our minds. But this can also be something where, unintentionally, we can create negative cues and go through routines that aren't really a reward but we're used to creating. So what we're going to do is kind of talk about how we can reverse with neuroplasticity the key to change. So, with the neuroplasticity, what it means is that our brain can create new pathways.

Camille: 35:58

One way that I had someone explain this to me once that was a therapist was she said I want you to imagine a pile of sand and when you have a bucket of water and you pour the bucket of sand or bucket of water on the sand, it creates pathways that go through the top of the sand, pile to the bottom and as you pour another cup on that sand, those grooves that were created by that first bucket get deeper. And if you pour more water, those grooves get deeper. And that's the same way that our thought patterns can work. Is that 90% of the thoughts we thought yesterday are thoughts that we'll be thinking again, because we our brains are kind of lazy, and so to create new pathways, we have to put in some effort to create new ways of thinking or new thought patterns with our cue, our routine and our reward. So goals can be like that too. So I want you to think about the steps to getting the goals, and we're going to go through these one by one, and I'll do them as quickly as I can.

Camille: 37:02

But the first is to connect with your why, your deeper purpose or motivation. To also make sure that your goals are specific, measurable and time-bound so that you know exactly what you're after. To break big goals into smaller, actionable steps. And then to also create accountability and support systems so that you can celebrate small wins and practice self-compassion. It all goes back to the messages that we're saying to ourselves in success and in failure, and self-compassion is a big tool for that. So I'm really grateful that Brittany walked us down that step a little bit.

Camille: 37:37

So, number one, connecting with your. Why is your reason to keep going when things get tough? Now notice that it doesn't say if things get tough. It is always a when and a lot of times we don't control what those factors are that present a challenge, and so really digging deep and understanding that why is a key factor in understanding how you can have success. I have an entire freebie on my website that is about connecting with your why, but for now, we'll just go with that.

Camille: 38:05

Number two is to create smart goals. Now, this is a very basic but very incredible approach to creating a goal, and that is for each of these, it's an acronym is to create specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound goals. This is something where you really want to break something down and make sure that it's something that you can measure so that, as you're going through baby steps, you see those cues and those rewards of success, and it's a process where you can do it over and over again. The third is to break it down and take action. This is where small steps and consistent action really come into play. It is very easy to have a big goal that you set, let's say, at the beginning of the year with like a New Year's resolution, and sometimes people will start out with something really big like I'm going to work out every single day this year, and that is something that I have made a goal for in the past and failed miserably. And this year, rather than doing it that way, I broke it down to doing 30 minutes of exercise every day for a hundred days and I did it and I actually have a group right now that's doing the second 100 with me, and now that I'm 30 days into my second 100, I'm kind of seeing that goal at the end where I'm like, gosh, I probably could do a full year, but I think if I would have started with that, it would have felt extremely overwhelming. But now that I have a goal where I'm already 130 days in, I'm like I can do this because I've been able to break it up into smaller, actionable steps.

Camille: 39:41

The next thing is to have accountability. People have a 65% chance of reaching a goal if they have an accountability partner or group. Now, this is a big factor in having success in a lot of different places that you may want to have goals. But what I love about this specifically with women, and why I rally around communities of women specifically, is that I think women really understand our challenges. That can be unique outside of perhaps what our children are dealing with or what our husbands or partners are dealing with, and so it's really important to find someone that is in a season of life with as you and also shares value that you share. So support can provide the guidance, encouragement and accountability needed to overcome any obstacles as you go towards that journey.

Camille: 40:33

And that is why my sister and I she just hopped on, she's Janae Moss, and she and I are putting together a coaching program using performance psychology. I know little bits and pieces. She's getting her doctorate in performance psychology to the degree where she is actually creating a program with me where we are coaching women to reach goals in an attainable way using brain science, which is so cool. So we're actually going to be doing virtual trainings as well as in-person trainings, but it's all around the idea that we're going to create actionable steps to help you create balance for the season that you are in, and not perfection, but creating actionable steps with accountability. We also want to make sure that we are celebrating our wins. Those tiny little steps that you take along the way are worth celebrating, and you want to visualize that success before you even get to it. So this can be journaling. This could be expressing to someone what that looks like. This could be saying I am statements and showing up as that person that you see at the end of your goal, and it can also prime your brain for success to make your goals feel attainable and real.

Camille: 41:44

And celebrating wins is something that we want to do, whether it's small or big, because that helps to release dopamine and reinforces positive behavior so that we can have continued success. So for our group I talked about it a little bit right here, but it's actually two times of virtual training each month and we have four in-person events for the year. So we're it's a part mastermind, part coaching. It's $250 a month, but if you buy it all up at once for the year, you actually get $500 off, and you get an additional $100 off If you sign up with a friend. It's all about that accountability showing up together. So that would be a $600 off your total.

Camille: 42:29

And as an added bonus, my sister and I are offering a one-on-one coaching for you to help you identify what those next goals are for you, and this is something we typically charge $500 a session for. So if you sign up by May 15th, that's something that will be added as a bonus as well. So I have this free gift, which is a goal worksheet going over everything that I just shared with you. It's available on our website at sheoco, where you can also find more details about the topics, the details of what is going to be included in the coaching, as well as those in-person events and what's included in that as well. So go to our website to go ahead and grab that freebie and it breaks down everything that we talked about here and, as a reminder, you can listen to this back on the podcast again to hear everyone's messages so that you know exactly what to expect and kind of take notes as you go through.

Camille: 43:23

I feel like every time I hear from someone and I'm learning, the first time I'm absorbing it in one way and then the second time I can really apply it in the way that I'm listening to, a new thought or process of what I'm working towards. So I think we have a few minutes of Q&A if we want to answer any questions that you all might have. So we'll open up the floor for that and thank you all for being here and Brittany and Kimberly, if you have anything you want to add. I just thought it was great.

Britanny: 43:53

I loved I just think it's so exciting Kimberly's app and then your coaching program. I think there is definitely something for everybody and I'm um, I'm excited, it's awesome.

Kimberly: 44:05

Yeah, so fun. I'm, I'm really glad to honestly see, okay so, heather, rachel, andrea, beverly, amanda and then the other people I don't know on here, hello, hello, I just I'm really excited to connect with you guys. Please reach out and let's connect on social and get to know each other and cheer each other along in this journey of life, because it is not easy. And I'm just like it's so fun to, just when Brittany and I we actually were at Camille's birthday party and we were talking and I had just kind of had this honor, your body and self-compassion is in the bio. And Brittany's like I am launching a self-compassion course and I'm like what, I just launched an app.

Kimberly: 44:42

And Camille's like, oh, I'm working with my sister and so we just wanted to share with you. So, thanks for being here, and hopefully you got some nuggets too that you can really take home right away, cause this the whole idea is that it's a workshop, so we wanted to give you some good information that you could take home and just start working with right away. And, um, yeah, I really look forward to getting to know each of you guys better and working with you. Does anyone have questions or comments or?

Speaker 4: 45:09

anything. I don't have a question, but I just want to comment Thank you so much, ladies, for I I love watching women, um, like what they're good at, just thrive and just share their talents and their passions, and so I really appreciate you guys doing this and sharing what you guys are doing, because I follow all of you on Instagram, but it's good to see what you're all really passionate about, like narrowing it down and sharing with everybody. So thanks for doing this. I really appreciate it.

Kimberly: 45:36

Yes and Heather, you are so much fun. This woman is an amazing instructor, very talented and brings the life to every party. Thank you, Thanks, heather.

Camille: 45:49

Yeah, thank you, heather. I'm excited to get to know you better. I feel like each of us. I'm like, oh, if we had the time, I'd say go around and introduce everyone. I just love seeing everyone's faces and so glad you're all here.

Camille: 46:01

Thank you so much for tuning into this episode. If you are not subscribed yet, please do so. Every single week I'm sharing inspirational stories of women building businesses all over the world, as well as if you are interested in the coaching that I have going on. Ceo is starting in June, so now is the time to sign up, and you heard about all those extra promotions that are happening. With signing up with a friend, you each get $100 off. Plus, if you pay for the year in advance, you get an additional $500 off. So if you have any questions, please reach out. Otherwise, you can check out the link below at CEOco. Thank you so much, hey CEOs. Thank you so much, hey CEOs. Thank you so much for spending your time with me. If you found this episode inspiring or helpful, please let me know in a comment. In a five-star review, you could have the chance of being a featured review on an upcoming episode. Continue the conversation on Instagram at callmeCEOPodcast and remember you are the boss.