303: Creating a Summer Flow: Boundaries, Bucket Lists & Less Chaos for Busy Moms

Camille 0:08

So you want to make an impact. You're thinking about starting a business, sharing your voice. How do women do it? That handle motherhood, family, and still chase after those dreams. Listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know. This is Call Me CEO.

Bulk Recording And Summer Reality

Camille 0:28

Hey, hey, hey, everyone. If you're watching the video of this, which is available on YouTube, you will see that I'm wearing the same pink shirt that I've had on in the last two episodes because I am bulk recording. It is the summer. I don't like to push my schedule as much as I do through the school year as I do in the summer, summer. So I'm bulk recording so that I can devote more days to just being present with my kids. And today is a bulk recording day, hence the third time you're seeing me in this pink t-shirt. But

Designing The Summer You Want

Camille 1:03

it goes along with the theme of today's episode because we are talking about how to create summer rhythms and create a summer that you want as a mother, as a uh business owner, as a woman who has things to do, which is all of us. So for this episode, I'm going to share something with you that I have done for all of my motherhood. And I get made fun of by my children and my husband for doing this because they're teenagers now and they're very cool and I am uncool. But I'll tell you, it makes for a cool summer.

Build A Family Summer Bucket List

Camille 1:38

And one of those things that I do is I create what is called a summer bucket list with my family. And I ask them, how do you want your summer to feel? This is actually something that I do with my business clients when I coach them is I ask the question of how do you want your business to feel? How do you want your day-to-day schedule to feel? How do you want to look back at your week on the weekend and feel for the week, how it went, and on the weekend so that you have times of rest, you create boundaries, you're having fun, and you're having challenge because we don't appreciate the rest unless we create the work. So the intention creates magic because so many times summer flies by. Perfect. I know what the direction is of what he wants this summer to feel like. That means that he wants to have slower days. He wants to go get ice cream, he wants to play video games with his friends, he wants to sleep in, he wants to do things that he did as a kid that made him really happy. So check, I know what he wants. My next child said that she wanted her summer to be W, to be bubbly, and to be chill. Which, okay, we can do that. We can create bubbly and chill, which my sons made fun of her, saying those are opposites, but that's okay. That's okay to have opposites, to have bubbly and also chill. So that's what she wanted. My other two boys, one said that he, my youngest said that he wanted it to be full. He wanted to feel like he had places to be, things to do, friends to see. He is my doer. And my middle son said that he wanted it to feel relaxed. He just wants a summer of feeling like he doesn't have to feel to be and to do and to get all the things done. So with that and with that intention of how we want the summer to feel, we went into our rounds of the bucket list. So my husband was a part of this as well. And so was I, because I feel like as parents, it's important that we put in our thoughts and our wants into summer too. It's not all about the kids. And while there are things that certainly cater to more one more one to cater to one child more than the other, there are also times that as parents, we get to pick the thing and we get to decide what we want to do that day. And I think it's more important that your kids see that, that you take turns, making each member of the family a priority with what they want to see, where they want to go, what they want to do. Does it mean that we can do everything? Maybe not. But in general, the things that my kids bring up, and even my husband and I, they're doable things. They're things that we have enjoyed in the past. So examples of that might look something like going and getting slurpees on 7-Eleven day for free. Can you buy Slurpees on another day for a lot cheaper and not have to wait in a line? Yes, but there's something about getting a free 7-Eleven Slurpee that they think is really cool. Um, when they were younger, we actually used to theme the days where I would do like a water day and a cousin day and a cooking day and a nature day where we'd go for a hike. I'm not as structured now in that regard as I used to be because I feel like my kids have enough of their own interests and camps that we're needing to get to that I don't have to come up with things like that or themes for the days, but that doesn't hurt. So,

Screen Time Plans That Reduce Fights

Camille 6:23

what I mean by that is uh my middle son that wants to have the chill summer, he loves playing video games with his cousins. And I am not anti-video game. I've actually partnered with Nintendo for years. I'm a I'm a gamer, like I like video games, but there is a place of limiting video game time because it's summer and there are times for games and there are times you need to get outside. And so for us, I told my son, hey, my brothers now have actually come to us. We use the family safety um app that helps you to monitor your child's screen time where they have to ask permission to use the screens. My kids do not like it because their cousins don't have to do that. However, it makes the game of can I have screen time? How do I earn screen time? How much screen time can I get? It makes that conversation so much easier because when we decide ahead of time, okay, we think two hours a day is reasonable. Some days it can even be three to four, depending on what you've been doing other days, if it's really hot weather where it's hard to be outside, or if you've had a really grueling few days and you've been outside or whatever, like we can be uh flexible with that. But my brothers recently came to me and said, Okay, what are you doing? Because we need to figure this out. And our kids want to are on screens all the time and we're not monitoring it. How do you do this? And what's been really nice is that we are now on board with each other. We have children that are the same age as two of my brothers and I. And so if we are doing the same approach, it makes it so much easier. So for the summer, we are trying to get them together more often in person because they have so much fun when they're in person. When they're on video games, they are chatting together, which is great. Um, but we don't want that to be the only thing that they do. So Monday, Wednesday, Fridays, we're still working through that, but we're gonna take turns having the kids at our at each of our different houses. And then on Tuesday, Thursdays, I asked um my son if we could do if that would be good days for him to get together with friends. So it could be like cousins, friends, and he really liked that. For him, he likes the structure, he knows what to expect, and he also likes having alone time. So as we're going through these ideas of creating a bucket list, creating an idea of what you want the summer to feel like, each one of my children is so different, and I try my best to integrate what they like and what they need into our plans. So as you're thinking about this, I want you to imagine what would that summer look like for you? What is the way that you want your summer to feel like? We're not about having our days so structured that we can't sleep in. We don't want to be so unstructured that our kids are fighting or at each other's throats. There's like a happy balance, right? And through the summer, comparing the beginning of the summer to the end of the summer, totally different story. I used to hit the summers feeling reactive, sometimes feeling like we were just surviving or trying to create busy all the time. And I don't think that's the answer. And certainly, depending on the stages of where your kids are, you can decide how much structured time and how much uh unstructured time or downtime that you want. So when we do the three rounds, I like to ask them what they've done in the past that they want to repeat again for the future. So some of our favorites are float the river, sleepovers with cousins, slurpee runs, rock climbing or adventuring. There is a really yummy shake place that we love to go to that's about an hour away. And we have to plan for that in advance because that's, you know, a day trip where we go, spend time at the beach, come back. One of our kids mentioned a fortnight day where they all get together and play Fortnite, going to water parks, late night movies, camping s'mores, lady lazy days. And we go through and add in those favorites. I have had kids say, Oh, can I just say all three at once? And I don't prefer to do it that way because a lot of times as we go through one by one in our family, there's four kids, and then my husband and I will find that we will repeat each other's because we have a lot of family favorites. So I do like to go one at a time because it gets their minds going. They don't have to think about it all at once. And then it kind of gives them a little more time to think about what it just brings up other ideas of like, oh yeah, remember we went and did that 24th of July parade in that small town, and that was so fun. I would

Turn The List Into A Calendar

Camille 11:35

love to do that again. So the idea is that after you go through with these three rounds, you are then able to put it on a list. I've done it a couple different ways. I'll I've done a big poster board where I'll write it up and put all of the different things, and then I will plug it into our calendar view for the summer. I have a calendar right now that is a full year calendar. You can see everything all at once, which I have really loved. It's from Cherry Creek Lane. If you're interested in it, you can DM me at Camille Walker on Instagram or call me CEO Podcast, and I can send you that link. Um, and then it makes it so that we can plug and play what time we actually have to work with. So where my daughter has volleyball camp, we have football that starts in late July. Summer flies, it just goes so much quicker than you think it will. So it gives you an idea of where you can put pockets into open space and you realize, gosh, we don't really have as many weekends as we thought we did to go to our family cabin or to go have that day at the at the beach or whatever the thing is.

Boredom Quiet Time And White Space

Camille 12:48

So one thing to consider as you're creating this summer expectation is that you are not the entertainment committee. Okay. Summer isn't me performing happiness for everyone. It is okay to be bored. What I know about boredom is that it builds creativity, imagination, resilience. There are things you can do, you know, if you want to create a boredom basket or do a scavenger hunt or sprinklers or for them or something, that's great. But I think outside of these structured things that they want to plug and play into the schedule, so to speak, I let them fill in the blanks around what they want to work with. I've talked about chore charts before. So I'll link that one below. It just went live a couple of weeks ago. But what I found works best is that when kids in the mornings are doing their chores and something outside or some day activity, so that in the early afternoon, say one to two o'clock, that's when you have a quiet time. That's for books, podcasts, independent independent play, drawing, screen time, so that you can have a reset too. It's also often the hottest time of the day. So unless you're at a pool or something where you're getting wet, it's tends to be when people are hungry and tired and need a reset anyway. So it's a good idea to plug that in. Boundary number three is to leave white space. This is so aligned with what is important to me about creating white space in your business and in your family life so that if you get invited to something last minute, you can go, or that you have space you can you can work with it. I love being able to go paddleboarding with a friend on a Wednesday and that the kids are okay with that too, or that there's opportunity for us to get space for ourselves to recharge when we need it. And our kids need that too. So don't think that every week you need to have a camp or a travel or an activity. Something that I fill in early on, that's my summer bucket list that's really important to me, is outdoor summer concerts. I love live music. It makes me feel playful. It's such a fun date night. And my husband loves golfing. I love paddleboarding. So we've talked about alternating our weeks of dates of going golfing for him, paddleboarding for me. And I just think that that's so fun. So think about what you might want to work in, but also leave some white space. Obviously, concerts are fixed dates where I go in ahead of time when they go on sale with Live Nation. The sale is over. I'm sorry, but they're still reasonable. Like if you have any venue near you that has like grass seats or general admission seats, those are generally pretty inexpensive. So checking that out is a good idea. And what you want to do is look at that ahead of time so that you can make white space for the other things that aren't a fixed date. Kids will remember the most simple things: a slip and slide in the backyard, pops clothes in the driveway, laughing in the kitchen, staying up late, making s'mores. Like it doesn't have to be a big production. One thing, boundary number four, is that moms deserve summers too. We've talked about this already, but I hope that as you're listening to this episode, you create space for yourself where you can figure out what it is that you want. Okay. Do you want it to feel calm, fun, slow, connected, healthy, adventurous, restful, whatever it is, figure it out so that you create that space for yourself too. Okay, so I've talked about a few different things, and I'm just going to sum this up so that you can use it as a quick way to remember. And it

FLO Framework And Closing Reminders

Camille 16:49

is with the acronym FLO. Okay. So number one, how do you want the summer to feel? Number two is to list the memories, create that bucket list. Number three is O, own your boundaries. That means the quiet time, the white space, the boredom is allowed. And then, of course, W is to work the plan lightly. This is not a do it all or die. It is creating moments that make you feel connected. So I want that to be in your mind so that you don't feel so overwhelmed and feeling like if you don't make it look this certain way, that you are a failure. So as you are listening to this, I hope you can identify what you want the summer to look like. My family is, of course, still going to laugh at me, but I think when they look back, they'll remember I felt great that summer, and that is my goal. So I hope you have a wonderful summer. Make sure to check out the other episodes that will help you to create the summer that you want to enjoy this summer and be inspired by other mothers building businesses. Thank you for being here. Please rate and review and follow the podcast so you never miss a thing. And you can go to CamilleWalker.co to get updates every week for what is coming. Thank you so much. I'll see you next time. Hey CEOs, thank you so much for spending your time with me. If you found this episode inspiring or helpful, please let me know in a comment in a five star review. You could have the chance of being a featured review on an upcoming episode. Continue the conversation on Instagram at Call Me CEO Podcast. And remember, you are the boss.