270: Legacy Planning for Entrepreneurs: What to Do Before Life Hits the Fan

Colleen: 0:00

Your focus gets this narrow in the middle of an emergency that you forget the things that are just like out here. Like my siblings were out here and I was in here. And so, like, that is one of the things that I really learned of this is like, okay, you have to ask for help.

Camille: 0:27

So you want to make an impact. You're thinking about starting a business, sharing your voice. How do women do it? That handle motherhood, family, and still chase after those dreams? Well, listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know. This is Call Me CEO. Welcome back, everyone, to Call Me CEO. This is your host, Camille Walker, and here we celebrate women building businesses that change lives, especially for the oops moments or the crap life just happened, which is happening to all of us. Colleen Watson is a legacy consultant helping entrepreneurs and small business owners get their affairs in order before the crap hits the fan. Because let's just be honest, it happens. And this is an approach of how to dip your toe into estate planning so that when things happen, and or it's really not an if, it's a when, that you have a bit of a plan in place so that you are not overwhelmed and worried about everything going wrong. And I love this because I feel like this is a very niche approach to life in general. When you're running a business of your own, things are going to happen. Life is always going to be first, meaning the ones that we love, the things that happen with health crisis or our own health crisis or a pandemic. You know, who knows? There are things that are always happening. So she is the CEO of Sentry Plant Business Services and will be sharing with us her story about how she went through this the hard way and wants to create a plan for you to go through it an easier way. So Colleen, thank you so much for being on the show today.

Colleen: 2:11

Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Camille: 2:14

Yeah. I so getting into this, first of all, I would love to hear, tell us a little bit about who you are, where you live, and also your life story of how this even came to be in your bandwidth of helping other people do the same.

Colleen: 2:30

So I am a native Coloradan. Uh, we are very few and far between. A lot of people seem to like my state. Go figure if we do like outdoor stuff, and we have a lot of good outdoor stuff here. But I was actually born in Denver and we moved away for a little bit when I was a baby. Um, moved back in 76 and have been in the house that I live in now since 1977, and we are the only people who have ever lived here. It was a hole in the ground when my parents bought it. So we have been here a good long while. We have seen the state grow and change. And, you know, I live in, we live in a little town called Broomfield. I went to all the Broomfield schools. Um, so I really am a local girl. Um and I uh I very customer, you know, service-oriented. So uh most of my jobs have been that way. So I was in the medical field as a medical assistant for a good decade and a half, and then I went back to school and I became a librarian uh for quite a while and enjoyed both those things. But like a lot of people um in what I call they call the sandwich generation, um, I had aging parents, and it came to a point where um my father got ill. Um he sadly had Alzheimer's, and my mom could not be alone with him. So I had to leave my job as a librarian and help them out. And from there, we, you know, I we lost my dad. And then we, you know, I was ready to like get back into the workforce and be out there again. And this little thing called the pandemic hit. And, you know, I look at I looked at my mom who was getting older, and I thought, I have to figure out some way to work from home. I can't do 40 hour a week full-time work plus travel and all of that and bring the stress home. And, you know, there was just I couldn't do it because, you know, by the time we got out of the pandemic, mom couldn't drive. So, you know, she she would literally be stuck in a house for eight to nine hours a day. That's not good for her mentally, physically, any other way. So, like a lot of people during the pandemic, I thought, okay, what can I do? And initially, you know, I loved writing. Um, I love strategy and planning and doing that. And after a lot of throwing spaghetti at the wall and a lot of pivoting, I started a marketing company to help people what I called the business plan for their blogs, because blogging is very easy to start, very difficult to maintain. It can be a great way to, you know, build no like and trust with a small business by showcasing your expertise and reaching out to people. But, you know, it's it's difficult. And that was like I was starting to get that rolling. And then my mom, who at the time was 84, uh no, nine, 86, sorry, 86. Um, I was at home, she was in the kitchen making her breakfast, I was in my bedroom because I'm her caretaker, and I hear a very big on the floor. Oh no. Run out. My mother has had a serious fall. And I'm talking, she hit the floor hard. Um, we're talking, she was in the hospital for a week, she was in rehab for 10 days, she was in bed for five weeks after that, with me giving 24-7 care, uh, and months of physical and occupational therapy. Now she's doing great, right? But after about, you know, six to nine months when my life got out of full-time caretaking mode, and I, you know, because at first it's the physical aspect of, okay, I have to be there, I have to make her food, I have to, you know, take her places and and all of that. And then you have the mental thing of, okay, if you go through a thing of like, I can't leave the house because if she falls again, like you're waiting for that second shoe to drop, like, and and you have to gradually like loosen up, like, okay, she's getting stronger, it's gonna be okay. So that took like six to nine months, and I got to the other side of that. And like during that time, everything dropped. I had a W-2 job, that went away. I had a business, that went away. And because you're in day-to-day mode, you kind of don't care because like you you couldn't focus on it anyway. But once you get back to something called normal and you're looking at your life and like, oh, I could have done, I should have made a plan because this is the most logical thing that would have happened. I have an aging mom who's had some health care bumps. Now, my mom did a lot of things right in her life with her health. She stopped drinking and smoking in her 40s. She exercised regularly, she ate healthy, she was a reader, so she engaged her mind. She had a lot of friends, so she was active socially. So, you know, mama did a lot of good things for herself. She had a lot of coin in that health bank. And so when we had health bumps along the way, like she recovered fairly quickly and life went back to mostly normal. And all of a sudden, and I, you know, we all think tomorrow's gonna look like yesterday. And all of a sudden, tomorrow looked nothing like yesterday, and I had not made a plan for that. And so that was the start of there has to be a better way, and I am going to find it. So that's where I shifted gears and started like doing, I'm a former librarian, we know how to research. So I did a ton of research, I looked up a lot of things, um, and I realized like there is a way to do this so that all these things we kind of do ad hoc. Like, yeah, you know, you need homeowners insurance and you have kids, so you need life insurance. And and you know, they could be together to be a consistent plan that supports the business you want to have and the family you currently have, and make sure that when you have an emergency, the recovery plan is already in place.

Speaker: 9:11

Right.

Colleen: 9:12

I like I did not have the recovery plan, so nothing recovered. Right. There is a way to do it. So that's where I got to where I am today.

Camille: 9:22

Yeah, I like the quote that you said about don't building, don't build a plane while you're crashing. And can you think of a specific moment where you felt like my plane is crashing?

Colleen: 9:34

So um my mom had been in a rehab center for about 10 days, and she was coming home. They get they released her, like she she's met, you know, the criteria. And I'm looking around the house and I'm trying to figure out, okay, how do I make this safe? How do I, and I was, there were things I did not see. And by the grace of God, right at that moment, my older brother came for a visit. Um, he had fortunate, you know, sadly, but turned out to be a good thing. You know, it's one of those things that's bad when it happens, and later it's like, oh, thank God that happened. My brother was part of the big layoff of tech that happened right after, you know, and he had just turned 65. So he's like, I'm retired. Um, so he was able to come out and visit mom during these times. And literally, like, I found out she was coming home, and two days later, Bob came. And I was like, I was so overwhelmed. Like, was like, how do I make the house safe? How what do I need to do? What can I move? And there were things that like my brother, who is, you know, naturally kind of an engineer and a systems person, he was just, but like for those two days before he got here, I was like, how am I gonna do this? How am I gonna keep her safe? How are we gonna take a shower? How are we gonna like all of these things? And and I had a mo, you know, like a good 36 hours where I was kind of paralyzed because it was overwhelming because her entire safety was suddenly in my hands. And luckily, Bob came in and I have a great big brother, and he's like, okay, we need to do this, and we'll go to the store and buy this, and everything will be okay. Like he came in and took over for a couple of days. And like all of a sudden, like, okay, so we made sure the bed was able to be able to, you know, go down. We made sure that there were plenty of places for her to lie down if she didn't want to stay in the bedroom. We moved everything so it was easy to get the wheelchair in and out of her room. Um, and and so things worked out, uh, but like sometimes a lot I forget, like, oh wait, I have siblings. I don't always need to do this myself. Um, but you know, they're if they're not here, you don't think I could just pick up the phone and just talk to them. Um, and luckily Bob was here, but like you're so your focus gets this narrow in the middle of an emergency that you forget the things that are just like out here. Yeah. Like my siblings were out here and I was in here. And so like that is one of the things that I really learned of this is like, okay, you have to ask for help.

Camille: 12:29

Because I think that's a good takeaway for any. I think anytime there's a health crisis for yourself, for a child, for a parent, so often we can get lost in the moment of it and not think, oh, I should look outside myself and see who is ready and willing. It's a matter of asking, you know, and to take that moment of, oh, take a deep breath, take a look around. What resources do I have? What can I do to make this more manageable? And like you said, it's it's breaking it down and oh, wait, I have this, I have siblings here. Please. I need your help. Yeah. So legacy plowing, it's a serious topic. And it's one I feel like we don't necessarily love to talk about, as I think we just want to sometimes ignore the fact that we are getting older or that our parents are getting older. So I would love to know how do you help people to enter that topic? And what's the hardest part of that to start the talk and how to open that conversation?

Colleen: 13:36

So one of the things that I saw in a survey, it was a Pew survey that was done, I think, in 2022. And they asked people, like, what and it was like, you know, elderly, so 60s through 80s. They were asking them, have you talked with your children about or your family about your estate plan? And if the answer was no, they asked, well, why not? And the number one answer for these people is there's no urgency, I'm fine. Right? I'm I'm okay. Like my health is fine and and everything. And I think that that is a kind of nice form of denial. Yes, yeah. That that like I'm fine. And and you know, you may think you're fine, but your kids come for a visit and so and they're looking at you and they're not seeing that you're fine. So the first thing I always tell people to do is because this happens so many times. Like you you come to visit your parents for the first time in say six months to a year, and you're remembering what was going on the last time you visited, and suddenly this time you're visiting and you're noticing some major changes that for them, because it's been like day to day to day and little minor shifts, don't seem all that different. But to you, who has like the the longer view is like, oh my gosh, this is something I need to worry about. Our first inclination is to bring it up right then because we're scared, right? So, what you need to do is you need to really step back, stay calm, and make a plan for the conversation. All of these conversations need you to one, uh establish some goals, right? Why are you talking to your parents about this? Is it because you're thinking maybe it's time for you and your siblings to maybe ask if they would like some uh help just to come in for a couple hours a day, help with basic tasks, take them on errands, sort of thing? Is it you think that maybe the house is unsafe? So you would like to talk to them about maybe there's a way, you know, it's time we put some handles in the bathtub. Maybe it's time that we did one of those things on the stairs where you can just sit down and go up the stairs if you have multi-level houses. Maybe it's time to move the bedroom down to the first floor. Like, what are you hoping to achieve out of this? Because a lot of times we come in guns blazing because we're scared. And, you know, your parents are still adults and they still value their independence and their, you know, autonomy. You have to honor that. So you have to come in with, I want to talk to you about this and figure out solutions just because I want you to be safe. If the, you know, we're at a situation where you really think, like, maybe it's time that we look at a care facility, that's a whole different conversation. And I will say you never start with that because that's like you're trying to move them from what is everything they place. Yeah. So one is you have to do it in degrees, and two, you have to go in with a plan and upfront saying, okay, I want to do this, and this is what I hope to get out of this conversation, and you're doing it right away. The second thing you need to do is do not have these on the fly, you schedule it, right? And it like you're gonna take serious time. You want to have at least two hours, you want to have um snacks that they like, because you know, brain works takes calories. You want to have water. This can bring up emotions, you want to have tissues, you want it someplace where everybody is comfortable. You wanna be like um taking breaks, like, you know, do like 30 to 45 minutes and then take 15 minutes and just let everybody go to the bathroom, let everybody get some fresh air. You know, if it starts to feel suffocating, go for a walk and talk. You know what I mean? Like let it flow naturally and let it let it come from a place of I'm doing this because I'm concerned. Let's figure out solutions together so that we can move forward. The other thing I like to do, um, and I have created one of these for people because it really does help, is I have a checklist. And so the checklist um idea came about from my beloved daddy. My father was a single engine pilot for like 30 years, and he loved flying. He, you know, every Saturday he was at the airport. Like some men golf, my dad flew. And the thing about that thing is every single time he would get to the end of, you know, the start of the runway and he's getting ready to take off, you stop and he would get down a list and he would check everything to it was working correctly. And that was like a requirement. And he didn't do it from memory. He had a list, it was laminated, it was velcro to the front door, he would get it down, he would go through it methodically because he also understood that hubris could be as much of a danger if you're a long-term pilot as naiv naivete. So you always you didn't count on that, you had a list. And like aviation is one of those areas where checklists became crucial because pilots would make mistakes and they would be relying on mental maps that didn't serve them, right? And so instead of that, they they created a whole list of checklists. Surgeries have whole lists of checklists. Things that are complicated and require a lot of steps are requiring checklists because it means nobody makes mistakes and everybody knows where we are on in the process, right? And even policing now is starting to incorporate checklists into things, certain, you know, tasks that they do. So I thought this is a really hard task. Let's do a checklist. So I start with like, okay, let's get all the things, you know, let's get the water, let's find the good place, let's make the appointment, let's take, you know, at least, no, it's gonna take at least two hours. Um, give yourself four because you never know where it's gonna go. And one of the things on the checklist at the end is give them a hug because like this is, you know, you need to remind them you do love them. This is from a place of love or whatever they like, you know, if it's a handshake, whatever they're comfortable with, but give show some physical affection. And in the middle, you know, this is when you talk about the important things. And, you know, the the you don't have to do everything on the checklist. Maybe you do certain sections of my checklist, but uh you give it to them beforehand and everybody knows where you're going. So you're all rowing in the same direction, and it prevents people from, you know, doing what I call the slide away, where all of a sudden they're uncomfortable and try to slide away from the topic. Um, and it it's like, yeah, we can talk about that later, but right now we have to talk about this particular thing and you know, literally say, we'll make more time later, and we can talk about that in depth if you want. But the the goals for this talk are these, and you reiterate them. So it really is about you're treating it as weird as it sounds, like a meeting with people you love. You know, you don't go into a business meeting without a plan. And this is so much more important than that. And most people go in emotions first, and we get that because you're seeing people you love and you're worried, and you're coming from a place of love and fear. And we don't make the best decisions from a place love and fear. Yeah, we just don't.

Camille: 22:04

So the emotions are so high. And I like that the idea of having a list, especially if you have siblings where everyone's on the same page. It is nice for everyone to kind of look at the same thing, I would imagine, where you're thinking, okay, we have this direction and we're going to go through this together because there are a lot of different feelings and ways that maybe people are imagining it might go. So I really I like that approach. That makes a lot of sense.

Colleen: 22:34

So yeah, and I mean, one of the things I love about this is man, if you can dig this conversation and get to the other side with the people you love and have it be productive, you could handle any difficult conversation. Yeah, nothing's more difficult than this. And the same skills are gonna apply to all of them, you know what I mean? Um, so you know, this is one of those, you know, I always say, you know, dip or toe. But when it gets to the point where you you actually are like, okay, we've done the dipping the toe stuff. I I I've done everything I could. Now it's time to really tackle the, okay, what are my spouse and I gonna do with our assets and how we're gonna divide them? How what are my parents' plans for their retirement? Um, where are their important documents? Um, because a lot of times, you know, part of the stress in an emergency, particularly if it's for a family member, you know, maybe you're you're very close to your sister and she's not, she's single and so you, you know, you're the person in the emergency, is you don't know where their stuff is. You don't know where their insurance cards are, you don't know what their bills are, you don't like, and like part of this whole process is you get everything organized into something called a knockbox. It's N-OK, it stands for next of kin. And so basically, you're trying to make it easier for the people who have to pick up the gauntlet of your life by putting all your important information in one place where they can find it. And I always say the knockbox can be a physical thing because you know, certain generations they like paper, they want a physical document. Younger generations, it's all digital, so you can put it on a computer and and just keep it, you know, and the important person knows where the file is and they know the password and all the information is there. But organization is part of this. And, you know, because everybody's organizational mind is a little bit different, even if you're related to them, like how they they organize their stuff can be completely different. And you can be like roaming around for days trying to find their medical power of eternity and their advanced directives, which are necessary things to have for a hospital in the middle of an emergency, you know. So um, that is another thing I I always, you know, encourage people with a dip the toe. It's like, let's just put all of it in one place.

Camille: 25:14

Yeah. So let's talk about that a little bit more where this is a a checklist. And is that available on your website or okay? So we'll we will link to that below. Now let's turn the corner a little bit for us that own a business and maybe need to put things into place. So if there is an emergency for caretaking, whether it's for children or for parents or ourselves, what are some must-haves for us to do to put in place so that if we need it to take some time, everything doesn't fall apart. Are you ready to reclaim your time and finally focus on the tasks that actually grow your business? Whether you're looking to hire a VA or thinking about becoming one, I've got the perfect solution for you. If you're overwhelmed with your business, I personally connect entrepreneurs with highly trained virtual assistants, graduates of my 60 Days to VA program, so you can confidently outsource and scale. Or if you're looking for a flexible, profitable business from home, my 60 Days to VA course gives you everything you need to have to become a successful assistant without the trial and error. Head to camillewalker.co to get started today. Whether you're hiring or launching your own business, I'm here to help you make it happen. You can also grab this link below and schedule a free discovery call with me to see if it's the right fit for you.

Colleen: 26:37

Yeah. So I'm a big believer in from so there are four pillars. There's money, there's insurance, there's a session, and then there's will and estate planning. So for money, I'm a big fan of two things. One, always knowing what your break-even point is. Because in small businesses, particularly say you have a seasonal business, that's a moving target. And it can be very easy to lose track of that. So every month, look at it and know what your fixed expenses are and what you need to bring in to cover them. So you always know where you're at. The second thing I'm a big fan of is emergency funds, right? So some people are big fan of like the profit first model. And for like a small business, I think it's a really good one. And so for me, like if you're a profit first person, you know that 1% that goes in your vault. Until your emergency fund is set, you take all of that and you put it in the vault. And a vault for a business and a vault for a life is generally six months. Six months set aside of covering your expenses, which is why it's very important, you know, what your break-even point is. Um, so that you know if something pulls you out for six months, everything is going to be okay in your business and in your life. So you need two: one for your business and one for your life. So your business that comes out of your business, your life that comes out of both you and your spouse. So you're building that one together if you have one. If if you know you're single, obviously you can combine it if you want, but I like keeping things separate so that it's all clean. So those are the two big ones for um money. Insurance, I have um what I call external insurance and internal insurance. So, external insurance, one of the most important things I like people to look at is what does your health insurance cover and what doesn't it cover? So if you're somebody where you have a business and your spouse is the person who has the W-2 job and has the health insurance, or you know, even if you're doing it through, you know, the marketplace, whatever it is, take a real look at what it covers and what it doesn't. Um, because the sad truth is, is the number one cause of bankruptcy in America is medical emergencies. And most of the people applying for that have insurance. Wow. So you need to have even if you have you're you have really great insurance from you know your partner's job job, you're gonna need something supplemental. And one of the things I always recommend people look at is something called living benefit life insurance. And what that is, is it's a life insurance policy, but it pays out both while you're still alive if you get certain illnesses. So you get injured, you get cancer, um, you you're you're you're knocked out for any number of illnesses or injuries, but you can use that policy to pay to keep yourself afloat. Right. And I really think that's a hugely important investment. And then if you manage to stay in good health, you know, for the whole thing, it is a life insurance policy that will pay out upon your dying to your beneficiaries. But it's a great balance so that you have a little like it's a secondary life insurance, it's a secondary health insurance policy because every health insurance has holes in it. And you need to know what they are and you need to fill the holes somehow. And so that's like that there are other ways, but I that's the one I like best. But once again, I'm not perfect. Talk to a financial planner, uh an insurance agent. What do you think? For succession planning, for me, the number one thing is what is your plan for your business? I understand that if you're just starting a business or you know, it might be like a way off thing, but like I want to, I want to grow to sell. Yeah, great, but what's the runway to that look like? Learn that as quick as possible and get yourself on it because if this is an asset, and if you want to maximize your asset, you need to know what to do, right? And and you know, all of the things. And trust me, there are tons of books and articles that tell you how to do that. You want a legacy business that you pass down to your kids. There are tons of books and articles that tell you the things you need to have in place. Know them, right? Because we have it like tentatively in our mind, but those things take concrete things that in the world that you need to do. And the sooner you understand that, the sooner you can start doing them. Um, at least knowing what they are is half the battle. Like, yeah. Um and then for the will, add your business to your will. Most people don't do that. But your business is an asset that can be profitable after you're gone for your family. It needs to be in your will and you need to have a plan for it. What that you discuss with your spouse, your business partner, if you have one, so that you everybody knows what's gonna happen to it. Because um, so the first question I ask is do you have a will? You'll be amazed at how often the answer is no. If it's yes, when was the last I looked at it? I had a lovely uh gentleman who sells insurance who told me I was talking to him about, you know, just picking his brain, getting information, becoming a sponge. And he said, Yeah, we just redid our will and realized we hadn't put our third child in. It had been that long since they oh no, well. So I always say life happens and we forget the paperwork. So, you know, look at look at your will and then figure out the plan for it and put it in your will. And if you haven't got a will, for God's sake, get a will. This is one of the things you absolutely need to start talking about because you do not want to start to die, what they call intest state, which means it's without a will, because the second that happens, the state determines who gets your assets and if you have minor children, potentially who gets custody of them. You don't want that if you have any sort of problematic family relationships, or even if you just have preferences as to who you want to be responsible for your kids, who you want to get your stuff. And each stake is a little different, you know. Generally it's spouses first, kids, if they don't have that, and if they're minor, parents, if it the parents are dead, siblings like, but you know, what if you have stepkids you want to have be part of your, you know, estate? What if, you know, because divorce happens, families get complicated. Um what if you have like foster kids you want to include? Like, there are all sorts of families that look all sorts of ways, but the law doesn't recognize them. So you need to make sure that the way your family looks and what is in value to your your family and to you happens the way you want. And the only way to make sure that happens is to have a will. And people, you know, a lot of people are just like, I'll just let them figure it out. Like we all have the ugly story of the family that imploded when the person died in test state, and then you just let somebody figure it out. So down will. That's my number one thing for that. As hard as it is, get a will.

Camille: 35:10

And do you have access for different options for getting a will done? Like, do you have places where you point people? Obviously, there are attorneys that do this, but there are other options for doing something really simple online. What's your suggestion with that?

Colleen: 35:26

So I have locally, because you know, I start local. So I, if you're in Colorado, I have options for you at different levels of income. So there are people who do not believe it should be complicated to make a will and charge a you know a reasonable amount of money. There's the mid-level people and then there's the high-end people. Um, if you have a lot of assets, then you look at a trust. But for most people, a will works. Um if you really don't have the the means to do that, there are will kits. Um, it's really important, though, if you're gonna do it that way. I don't object. They're reasonably priced, they can be as low as like 30 bucks, but you need to read through the instructions very, very carefully. Like this is when you get detail-oriented. This is when it's like you're doing your taxes. You can read every single thing in that IRS booklet to make sure you're not screwing around. But the first thing you want to do in any case is to really talk, like list your assets because people forget things. Like a lot of times, one of one of the things my brother is an amateur photographer, thousands of dollars of camera equipment, and nobody else in the family takes pictures. Do you want them to just sell it? Or maybe, just maybe, you want to donate it to a school or something? Like, these are the things people don't think about. Heirlooms are really big. Like if you have collected and another thing I I always like people to think about is think about the things that are heirlooms that don't have monetary value but are gonna be really important to people. Family recipes, photographs, baby books, quilts, you know, those things also need to be delegated to because you know the worst case scenario is the vultures come out and start picking through things, right? So make sure you have a full list of valuable things, both monetary value and sentimental value, and like get detailed about who you want to get what and why. Because a lot of times, if you can explain why when you're having the conversation with like your kids, your stepkids, and you can say, I'm doing this because of this, a lot of times people, it's easier to understand whether it's just a will and you say this and you don't explain why. And you know, nothing like that dollars and yeah. Because I always think it's important to remember in families, money's never just money. Money is a mirror and it reflects how healthy or toxic familiar relations can be. You know, there always is this thing of when you want to see what people value versus what they say they value, look at where they spend their time, look at where they spend their money. It's the exact same thing with families. And so, you know, it's really easy to say it's just stuff, but it's not, right? You have to be thoughtful. And if you can show, I've been thoughtful, I thought this through, and it also gives them a way to say, yeah, I understand that, but and you know, talk to each other. Like to me, it means this, and maybe, you know, you change some things because you've been able to be honest about why, and then you you understand where somebody else is coming from, and the person you initially gave it to understands, and maybe we make a compromise and you've solved the problem while you're still alive, because I've never understood you invest so much of yourself in creating a family, you invest your love, your body, your time, your energy, your future. You put things on hold for yourself, for these little human beings that you want to grow and create, and you and then at the end, you just leave them to figure it out. Why would you not want to leave them in the best possible place?

Camille: 39:59

Yeah. I know for my parents, something they talk about a lot is how their number one thing that they're proud of is how close of a relationship we have with each other and what good friends we are, and that we love to spend time together of our own free will. And I have called them and had conversations with them many times of okay, but do you have the will in place? And K, but do you know who's like going to be the executor? And do you know how you're gonna divide it? Can you figure that out, please? Because that thing that you're so proud of, I would love to keep that intact because it gets so messy and it's emotional, and that's the last thing you want to have to deal with when you're in mourning. Like it really is the worst scenario ever.

Colleen: 40:47

It is, and when you're in the middle of it, like you get brain fog. You you know, when I lost my dad, there are things I don't remember that other people do. Yeah. Because I was in brain fog, and you know, luckily they had everything planned out. My mother is a natural planner, so as you can kind of tell. So, like the the funeral was paid for, the, you know, she the dad had already written down like what biblical verses he wanted, what hymns he wanted. We didn't have to plan anything. Like, sometimes, you know, these sorts of things also can be ways to dip your toe in and be like, what would I like, you know, my funeral to be like? Because nobody really wants the funeral to be maudlin. Like you actually celebrate their celebration, sure. Yeah, and so, you know, that is another thing I always, you know, I encourage also people to do what I call living wills, which are things like maybe you write letters to the people you love and tell them the things you could never tell them for whatever reason. You know what I mean? Because that's a beautiful exercise for you and to receive on their part because they know how you felt about them. And you know, we hate when things are left unsaid, and yet it's easy to think, I have more time, I have more time. And if you just write the letter, and then you then if you, you know, if you find the time and and you talk about it, you you don't have to worry about it. You know you've done it. But like we never, you know, tomorrow is never guaranteed for anybody.

Camille: 42:36

I'm so passionate about this. I actually did a Christmas once where I had everyone write a memory and or something that they really appreciate about someone. And we did it as a my siblings and all the kids, and it took a long time, but everyone actually stood up and talked about every person and shared either a memory because I hate when you go to a funeral or you know, a memorial or a memorial or something like that, and you learn so much about what people appreciate about each other or stories that they had or shared that they said, I've never told anyone this, or I never actually had the opportunity to share this or tell this person this thing. And I'm and that makes me so sad. I just think, why not? Anyway, so I had everyone write it down, but then we actually shared it in person. And that is one of the best. It was long. The kids were like, Okay, yeah, that's not maybe next time adults only. I don't know. But I thought it was such it was one of my favorite Christmas memories I've ever had because it really was a living will of, you know, taking that time to appreciate each other and what we represent in each other's lives right now.

Colleen: 43:51

Yeah. And, you know, I always, you know, part of this is, you know, the safety net is it's also an emotional safety net. You're you're making sure that because you have all the pieces in place, you know, I always um there's this great book, and I forget the name of the author, but it's uh it's called Be Good. It's a parenting book. And she talks about the number, you know, we all have wants for our kids. We want them to be happy, we want them to be healthy, but that's not your job as a parent. You have one job as a parent, and she says it's this your job is to teach your children how to express and regulate their emotions. That's adulthood. Because if you really think about it, part of, you know, kids, they express everything because they have no filter because they don't know what they're supposed to. And as you get older, you know, you say things like, find your words, use your words, tell me what's wrong. And, you know, as they get into the teen years where things can get wacky, you're you have to model like, I'm angry too, but there's a productive way to use this anger. I'm sad too. Let's talk about this. You know, it's okay to be sad. It's, you know, one of the things she always says is you have to let kids have negative experiences to let them know like disappointment is survivable. It's okay to be sad when you're disappointed, you know, when something you wanted to have happen doesn't happen, you don't get on the team, you don't get the part you want in the play. It's okay to be sad. But you know, then you have to, you know, because it's in those things that they find grit and they find their confidence and they find their purpose, you know, and and so, you know, that is what your job as a parent is. And I love that because that is still your job at the end of your life. Because a lot of times, if everything has gone the way it's supposed to, the kids have grown up, they've left, are living their own lives and whatever that looks like for them. And you as a parent, you're still important. You still love your kids, your kids still love you, you still see them, but you're not doing 24-7 parenting. And it can it could be years since you've done 24-7 parenting because you've done the job, right? You've you were successful, they became their own people, they built their own lives. Maybe you have grandchildren, and that's wonderful, but your last responsibility as a parent is to ensure that the family you build stays together. And one of the ways you do that is you prevent conflicts by having the will. Because trust me, what you may think like, oh, the things that my daughters thought about when they were teenagers, they've grown up, they're beyond it. I'm like, maybe, but trust me, when they're in grief and they're emotional, those conflicts are gonna come right back. And it it doesn't make sense, it's not logical, but like the grief is too big, so you lower it to something more manageable, which is sibling conflict, which you know you can survive. You don't know what a world is like without a parent. So as a parent, it is your job to ensure that when you leave them, at whatever age that is, if you know it's a long life or it's a short life, and you have left your children way younger than you want, the only responsibility your children have is to grieve you. That is your duty as a parent, no matter how old your kids are. And I always say there's a little tough love in this program. Yeah, I I'm gonna put some some tough love on you because I know this is hard, but I also know you love your family and you want the best for them. And you know, sometimes that means doing hard things. Yeah, yeah.

Camille: 48:01

Well, they never said being a parent was easy.

Colleen: 48:04

So Jennifer for the week of heart.

Camille: 48:06

No, no. Well, that is one, I mean, gosh, this has been so helpful. So many it there's a so many layers of this to uncover. I think that you are really representing a big, a big part where a lot of us need help. And where can we find you online and access to the services that you offer?

Colleen: 48:27

So um I am on LinkedIn. Uh, you can find me there. Uh, that's where I'm mostly uh so look for me. I'm just under Colleen Watson. And uh I also have my website at uh www.centryplant business services.com. Those are my two big places. Um it's it's always interesting. Aren't you on Instagram? Aren't you on YouTube? Aren't you on TikTok? Like, guys, there's really not a lot of visuals you can do with this. You know, I don't have a product. So that those are my two big places to find me. And I'd love, you know, to see and talk to you. And I also offer free consults. So uh calendarly.com slash centuryplant. I'll talk about anything you're concerned about in terms of building this up, um, please reach out. I I want this, you know, I want people to have a safety net. I want people to learn from my mistakes.

Camille: 49:27

Yeah, well, awesome. This has been so helpful. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. And for anyone that has questions about this, we'll make sure to link in the show notes below so that you have access to that. And remember that any effort that you make, any step forward that you take or the conversation that you start is the right thing to do. And maybe it just takes that baby step of what is one piece of this that I'm listening to right now that I could bring up in conversation in a loving way, either with a spouse or with a parent, or what however this applies, we all have people that we love who either we want to protect as we age or that are aging and we want to help them in that transition. So thank you so much for tuning in today. Please share this episode with anyone who you think it might be helpful for. Any rating or review is always helpful and please subscribe. We will see you next week. Thank you so much for being here. Hey CEOs, thank you so much for spending your time with me. If you found this episode inspiring or helpful, please let me know in a comment in a five star review. You could have the chance of being a featured review on an upcoming episode. Continue the conversation on Instagram at CallMe CEO Podcast. And remember, you are the boss.