Unlock Your Brain and Your Potential | Kristin Graham

KRISTIN GRAHAM [0:00]

And so, when everybody was saying, "But you’ve got a good job. You’re working at this big brand. Who are you to change? What about your kids?" When I start getting resistance now and I can say this a couple decades in, that’s usually an indicator that it’s the right thing for me.

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CAMILLE WALKER [0:24]

So, you want to make an impact. You’re thinking about starting a business sharing your voice. How do women do it that handle motherhood, family, and still chase after those dreams? We’ll listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know. This is Call Me CEO.

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If you are looking for ways to unlock your brain and wanting to get more potential, more work done in a day, Kristin Graham is the expert in helping you fulfill your potential in life, business, and your pursuits for the future. I can’t wait for you to hear from her. Let’s dive in.

Welcome back everyone to Call Me CEO. This is your host, Camille Walker. Today, we are talking about unlocking the brain, your potential, and what you are capable of doing with the expert, Kristin Graham, who is a former journalist and ran culture and communities at corporate America at places you might know named Amazon.

She is now a keynote speaker that travels all over the country helping people to do less things better and unlock their true capability of what is possible. So, Kristin, I am so thrilled to speak with you today. Thank you so much for being on the show.

KRISTIN [1:38]

Oh my gosh. I know we said as soon as we started talking, we’re like, we should probably just start because you and I can go in so many different directions, which is exciting.

CAMILLE [1:48]

Yeah. It’s one of those things where you meet someone and initially right out of the gate, you're like, we could talk forever. And I love this so much. So, I'm so thrilled that our audience gets to hear that today of what you have to share. Please introduce yourself and how you wove yourself into the place where you are now.

KRISTIN [2:05]

That’s funny. I was just at my college campus where I was an undergrad. I was talking to the university students there and they had my bio up behind me. And I said, only in hindsight does it look strategic. Most of us when we’re in the middle of our journey, we’re just in the middle of our journey.

So, with that in mind, usually what I say is I’m a professional nerd. That’s gone wherever I’ve been. And I became accidentally corporate. You mentioned in your intro that I was a former journalist in Chicago. That’s what I thought I was going to do. I was very excited to be able to ask people questions and get paid for it. I was always that nosy kid.

And 9/11 happens and the world changed, which is reminiscent of recently. And I went into corporate and discovered that I could be just as curious and impactful internally and telling stories on behalf of teams and business units and brands. And so, that was really fun for a long time.

And during that time, I left the Midwest and went where I am now, which is in the Northwest and joined the dot-com boom. And so, I did that about 16 years ago and got to really be in that global fast-paced world and I should also mention while having my babies. So, I have two now teenage boys, but all of these ages and stages brought me different opportunities and different challenges frankly.

CAMILLE [3:39]

Oh my goodness. So, I'm curious about what was it that took you from being at a very high-level corporate position and filling obviously I’m assuming good pay? You were in a position that was you were seen as an expert and you were compensated well. What was it that gave you that kick to go off on your own and go into the unlock your brain route?

KRISTIN [4:07]

Yeah, it’s a great question. And I’m a very transparent person. So, I will say I was paid almost too well and that was part of the hook to stay in it. I think a lot of us can relate to I call it the velvet rut, where we know that we’re in a rut. It could be in the cities we live, the jobs we have, the relationships, but we’re wrapped up in all this velvet. It's just comfortable or other people are comfortable. So, I definitely had that. And when you get a lot of financial success, it’s a golden handcuff for a reason.

And also, I am a Gen X-er. So, I was wired to want to check a bunch of boxes. I was that latchkey kid. I was always like, "I want to get this done. I want to do this." And I never allowed myself to slow down. And so, those two things converged. Having checked the boxes that I thought I was supposed to check, and then also that element of how much can you always just keep going and at what cost?

CAMILLE [5:13]

Yeah. So, you’re in this really comfortable place. You’re being paid really well. What gave you the kick? I mean I don’t think we know yet. What happened?

KRISTIN [5:21]

You’re like, "Keep talking, woman." Yes, no. So, I became one of the dot-com millionaires and I say that because I think a lot of people can relate to sometimes giving yourself permission means you’ve got enough pennies under the mattress type thing. So, I don’t want to be disingenuous and say I just decided to take a big risk. I waited.

I had two major changes until I had money in the bank that I felt allowed me to try something different. And the first time I tried something different, I actually took a pure sabbatical and just took time off with no title, nothing. And it was during that time that I had space to actually think about what do I want to do versus what should I do or what looks good?

And leaving that first inclination that I walked away and I had oxygen without importance because let me just be clear. You can get addicted to being important and that could be by the way in your kids’ lives. It could be in your partner’s. It could be in a company on behalf of a brand. It could be as an influencer. I’ve always said that workaholic tendencies are one of the most socially accepted forms of addiction. We’re getting deep. We’re two minutes in and I’m throwing it down.

CAMILLE [6:46]

Oh my gosh. Yes, I love it.

KRISTIN [6:47]

And for women, one of the challenges that I discovered in all of my opportunities, let me say that again, the challenges in all the opportunities is you become this role model and you stop believing in what you’re selling. And I was only a couple handful of women at that level and people were looking up to me for something that I was feeling hollow about. So, there was also that element of where is authenticity?

So, the first time I took that space and in that space when I was no longer getting called up for all the coffees, I was no longer important because of my achievements or my LinkedIn profile, I really got the space to say, what do I want to do?

And that’s when I went back and went to Amazon, which is just the university of business. And it was fun because at a business, it could have almost 1 million people depending on the time of year. There was no chance of being overly important. And I love feeling like I was a university student again.

And then, at a large, large company like that, it’s up to you to make your way. And so, I had a couple opportunities. So, one of things I put forward is raise your hand. Try things and volunteer. A large majority of what I get paid now to do as an entrepreneur, I started out volunteering to do. And so many of us want to be perfect before we make a product that we offer to the world. And I’m living proof of the opposite. People will absolutely give you grace if you’re willing to try.

And so, I was able to really see that and hone it constantly there by volunteering, by stepping out there, by asking people. And I mean that from my speaking and my training, but more than that, it was almost those hours of practice of I do not have to be the best, but I can be me doing it. And that’s where when COVID came, I was like, if the world can change, so can I. And I stepped out and it’s been two years this month. On my own, 100%.

CAMILLE [9:04]

Oh my gosh. That is so powerful. You’re dropping so many nuggets of what we can all relate to of that hesitancy, but then also taking the risk of us doing it anyway. And I think that there’s real beauty that comes when we say, I’m not going to do this perfectly, but I’m going to do it the best that I can as myself. And I love that you said that because everyone can relate to that. Everyone can relate to opportunity and what are you going to do and how are you going to take it?

KRISTIN [9:36]

100%. And part of why I came up with unlock is the very first key, permission. And that’s a key nobody else can give us. We like to think it is. But permission to be messy, permission to be a beginner, permission to just try. I figured I could always go back to corporate or anything. But I knew I would always have the itch if I didn't try. And so, that was a big driver.

I should also say in the circle of life by this time, I was a divorced mom of two. And there was extra velvet and I call that also resistance, the good intention, well-meaning advice we didn't really ask for or maybe we over ask for when we share our ideas with the people closest to us to validate, but we usually get put back in a box at times.

And so, when everybody was saying, "But you’ve got a job. You're working at this big brand. Who are you to change? What about your kids?" When I start getting resistance now and I can say this a couple decades in, that's usually an indicator that that's the right thing for me. But socially, it’s hard because we're accustomed to testing with other people and getting validation. And that’s again why unlock came up of nobody else is going to unlock your dreams. We’re working on our own.

CAMILLE [11:01]

That is so true. And I think that that’s something that I love to ask people’s opinions. What do you think about this or that? But I have noticed that sometimes people will be hesitant to you growing because they feel uncomfortable with it.

KRISTIN [11:18]

Of course. And that’s also something too in lots of stages of your life. You are supposed to graduate and I use that word intentionally of, we’re still not all in elementary school, thank goodness, or high school, again thank goodness. We’re supposed to graduate as we move along. And when you start feeling people tying bricks to your balloons, that is about them not you.

Because women, that gets done a lot. And not just women, I don’t want to make this a gender-oriented element and we tend to go hand our strings to other people because we want to be liked, we want to be seen as a good mother, a hard worker, a team player. We don’t get a lot of messages of, go be the CEO. Go be the leader of this instead of the follower, the helper.

So, that’s a big thing too. What are we getting rewarded for and what are those messages? Because when our change makes people uncomfortable, it’s usually a sign of boundaries that were only really working for the people who benefited when you didn’t have boundaries.

CAMILLE [12:36]

Yeah. Do you think that permission is something that women struggle with more, especially where you’ve been in corporate America, but now you’re seeing it outside more traveling around? You're doing keynote speaking. You have access to a lot of people. Is that something that does seem to be more gender specific to women?

KRISTIN [12:58]

For sure. And I use the word permission intentionally because it really is empowerment. And I use permission though because it’s the most palatable form of that. It feels out of reach when we say that we are allowing ourselves or empowering ourselves. So, we have to say, I’m giving myself permission as we said earlier to be a beginner or to do this less than perfectly.

And I think we’re often our own harshest critics, but let's not overlook the social norms. And as you said, I’ve had a chance to both teach, speak, and travel. I’ve been to five of the seven continents. I’ve been to China and Dubai by myself. And I see the dynamics that aren’t just put on by myself. There is a lot of uncomfortability that happens when you get a little more visible.

CAMILLE [13:55]

Yeah, that’s really interesting. So, if permission is the first step of unlocking your potential or unlocking your brain, what’s step two?

KRISTIN [14:05]

So, it’s going to look differently for everybody because what they’re unlocking their permission for is deeply rooted. So, part of why I lead with brain science is to say this isn’t about you not having a quality or a discipline.

I'll give you an example. I teach productivity a lot. It’s a very common thing for all humans internationally. And especially the last three to four years, I think a lot of us can relate to feeling like I just don’t know what happened. I walked into the other room and I forgot why I was there. We're just all feeling that fatigue, the drain of the day.

Part of why I lead with science is I can come forward and say this is your neurological wiring or this is your biological wiring. So, if I were to say to you, Camille, are you an early bird or a night owl, what would you say?

CAMILLE [15:03]

Probably naturally more of a night owl.

KRISTIN [15:10]

And there’s also that third category, the in- between.

CAMILLE [15:14]

Yeah, I feel like I’m in between because I can be through phases of being a mom, I’m like if I want to work out, I have to get up at 6:30, but I would really love to hang out and watch a show at night. Let’s hang out. That’s been more of that way, but I can be in the middle, I think.

KRISTIN [15:32]

So, using something like a time-bound, what's your preference? Already what you even did, you’re like, "I have to, but then I want to," because that’s what we put on ourselves. When I step into science instead of productivity, it’s not here are the five things that will change your productivity because there’s not five people who all do it the same.

I lead with the science to say here's what science says about this and here’s some of the elements behind it. And I watch the permission wash over people because they’re like, "You mean this is my factory settings? This isn’t a deficiency?"

My partner, for instance, he’s a night owl. And that’s how he is. I say that’s your hardware. The software is what we put on top of it. That’s our habits. That’s our conditioning. But if given his elements, that’s just when he gets his juices flowing. It doesn’t mean he can’t do something at 7 AM. It’s just what are we adapted to?

So, I use that as an example because when we take it a step back, we can look it and say, this is how I operate in here or the distractions. So, one of the things I put forward, now I’m asking you again. We’re doing a live focus group. Do you get distracted by the red dots, the notifications on your phone or are you like, I’m okay, I’ll come back to those later?

CAMILLE [16:55]

I do know that if I have notifications set, it’s almost a lot of white noise in some way because I have done social media influencing for so long that I’ll get notifications from five different social platforms. And so, it does become white noise where I’m like, okay, I’m doing this right now.

Where my husband, if he has notifications popping up, it drives him nuts. Or I’m a person who has a lot of unread emails or a lot of open tabs. I know that that's maybe not the best thing, but that’s the way my brain works.

KRISTIN [17:32]

Hang on. Let’s get back to what you just said because you said maybe that’s not the best thing. I would put forward to unlock your brain from that idea to say it’s what’s best for you. So, if you're in the middle of something and you’re like, I need to remember to do that and you pop open the browser window or different people like, I need to email myself or post-it notes or everybody has different elements of trying to make do and it’s really unlocking right from wrong. So, your husband’s brain being itchy when he sees that doesn’t mean that he isn’t as disciplined as you. That’s just his neurological wiring.

And when we get a little bit further into science and psychology, we can stop thinking, I’m not doing it well enough. I think Westerners, Americans especially, we’re one of the harshest self-graders out there.

So, why I bring the same principles you’re probably heard before, but I put on that understanding of let’s start from a neutral place and figure out what works for you because productivity or technology for you versus your husband is going to be a different recommendation. There’s not one size fits all to progress and that’s part of unlocking it. And same with being an entrepreneur.

CAMILLE [18:44]

Yeah, I love that because I think that we can be told this is the way it has to be or to be successful. You have to have a ritual that you stick to every single morning. And I don’t necessarily think that’s true. I do think you feel like you’re gaining hours if you wake up earlier where you’re like, look at how much I got done in these first two hours of the day that I was sleeping in the past.

So, I do think that there is that, but to say that that’s the only way to have success I feel is really short-minded because that’s not always their most productive hours, like you said, where some may like to work in the afternoon or even late at night.

In fact, I remember once my husband was saying, it was late at night and sometimes I’ll get these bursts where I want to clean or organize or I finally feel energy to get down to something and he’s like, "What are you doing? Are you trying to make me feel bad because I’m not doing that work?" And I’m like, "No, I just feel like doing it. I got this energy and I'm going to do it right now while I feel like I can." And I think that when you feel those urges, to honor them because it’s not this perfect 9-5 or whatever it might look like for someone else.

KRISTIN [19:58]

Exactly. And we put that psychology of when you said it earlier about our velvet rut, when she’s doing that, then I should do that. And so, I’m more of an early bird, my partner’s a night owl, definitely this language has helped us be like, "You’re in your jam. You’ve got your juices flowing, so you’re doing your thing. And I’m not there."

I’m in one of the studies calls it a trough. For a lot of early birds, that’s going to be the early afternoon where you have these bursts in the morning. And then, actually around 1, 2 o’clock, you’re feeling your slump for some people. And so, knowing that, and I do this a lot with work teams who are then like, "So, wait, can I have permission," back to that word again, "to ask Camille to move our meeting to another time? Because my brain is on empty." But it doesn't even occur to us to ask for accommodations or adjustments or to advocate for our needs. That’s part of unlock, but it’s also part of permission.

CAMILLE [20:54]

Yeah. That’s so fun. I like that because it really does give you an idea of self-evaluating for you that are listening right now, taking that inventory of when do I feel the most creative? When do I feel the most energized? And that can be different.

And I think that especially for parents and mothers, those periods change depending on how much sleep you are or are not getting. Because I know that now, the season of my life where I don’t have babies sleeping anymore, waking up early in the morning and getting stuff done feels really good where when I was waking up through the night, I was like, no chance. I’m sleeping as long as I can. I’m stealing minutes here, yeah.

So, what would you say to someone listening who maybe doesn’t know how to connect with even what they want? Because honestly, that’s something that when I’m talking to women who are living very busy lives, which we all are or who are even wanting to identify what they love or what they want to do or what their aspirations are and they say to me, "I don’t know. I don’t even know what I have to offer." What would you say to that person?

KRISTIN [22:09]

Sure. And I want to start my response with the word that you just used, which was busy. And busy is that buzz. You mentioned white noise earlier. It is white noise, but with the volume turned really loud. You can almost feel the sensation of busy.

And so, what I would say to that is again, there's not one solution like drink herbal tea. That’s really where there's two elements. There’s a great book called Who Not How. And again, I'm not saying one book solves it, but one of the things that we do as busy parents is we do it all. We do it all.

And really being able to say, do I have to be the who in this or is there another element that can contribute to it? If we know that it gets done, do I have to be the who? And you put parental psychology on top of that to be like, I should make my children’s lunch and cut it into stars. No, if that’s your joy, sure. But if it’s our obligation, so part of why I launched the podcast called Fewer Things Better, it’s what if we got closer to what we were really naturally good at or inclined to and we did that better instead of we did more things mediocre? And that tackles the busy of it.

Now, it’s hard at first. So, I don’t say, just be like, that’s it. I’m no longer cooking. That’s one tactic, but it’s those elements too of where are we and when are we feeling that that's less of a burden? So, there’s a lot of adjustments that could be made within that.

And I want to say something else on parenting too. It’s not imposing our busy on the other people around us, especially our kids who are going to take that buzz of busy and internalize it. And that comes from a lot of the psychology. And I’m a big rule momma too. Ask my teenagers. I’m always like, Rules are love. Put your phones down while we're eating."

And that’s one of our roles as parents that I was also blessed with the opportunity to learn neurodivergence because my oldest son’s on the autism spectrum and my youngest son has ADD. So, what was working for a hard-charging high-wired Gen X-er was not working for these humans.

So, for example is homework. I came in with this is how we’re going to structure the day. We’re going to not be overwhelmed, but I wasn’t meeting their needs. So, part of that who not how also has to say maybe I’m not their who and that just hurts our head because we’re like, no, I’m the CEO of my life. Maybe not a business yet, but of my life.

And really using that as an example, my two kids weren’t wired the same to do homework at the same time just because I wrote it on a flip chart and I did for the record. So, really being like, for this human, having some blood sugar, having some detoxing from his technology, that’s helpful for this human. Having a social outlet, I say this as the momma’s boys, running around in circles, then really understanding how they were really helped to adjust some of the structure and it doesn’t make it always easy. It’s just when does this feel more naturally inclined for all of us, but not necessarily just because mom said so?

CAMILLE [25:48]

Yeah. I really appreciate that because I think a big part of awareness is not just about ourselves, it’s about our kids too. And so, I love that you bring that out because just like we are also different, so are our kids. So, the way we process information or the times we work best may look different. They usually do.

And I think that that can be hard. When you're trying to run a household and get things done at a certain time and make sure everything's happening. So, I’m curious for your son who loves to run around, what was the homework situation for him? What worked well for him?

KRISTIN [26:27]

Yeah. So, what we found is once he came home, again he was ADD, the distractions were almost too compelling. I know a lot of adults like that too, by the way. I get pulled into Netflix no problem, friend. So, we really organized with teachers for a while, and then tutors right after school.

Here’s another fun fact I learned from my study in the brain. A lot of elite athletes and performers, it could be in music or elements, there’s a larger percentage they’re neurodiverse. And when I was at a college recently as I mentioned, the quarterback of the football team came up to me and said, "I’m ADD as well," because I shared about my son. He’s like, "How can I round out my skills because I’m always so distracted?" And so, our conversation was, "What if you didn’t have to round out yourself? What if your neurodivergence became a superpower, not a deficit?"

So, to answer your question, when my son was burning that energy, he’s all in. So, how did we structure the homework time? And so, what we learned the hard way, let's be clear, is that when it was in the room in that time and he was still in the classroom, his brain was like, this is my field. I’m doing academic work.

But when you got him home and there's noise and there’s dogs over here and maybe a snack on the counter, it was too much for us to expect in his evolving brain to overcome that. But when he was structured and he stayed right after school or at certain points or Tuesdays and Thursdays were tutoring time, it unlocked that of, it will get done when I'm on the field, that’s when I play.

CAMILLE [28:06]

I love that especially too because I have children as well that are on the spectrum in that way and I can relate to that completely when there was a space for a prep period or a time where it was dedicated to that space. It’s so much more natural or easier for that to be like, okay, this is where I do the work. And when I come home, all bets are off sometimes.

KRISTIN [28:30]

That’s true.

CAMILLE [28:33]

Yeah. I love that you can create that space. So, for the athlete where you’re saying to him, how did you make that his superpower? What did you say to him?

KRISTIN [28:43]

Yeah, there was a lot of also understanding what comes next. I’m going to show you an example here. One of the things I love because I worked on habits is timers. And by the way, I do this professionally too. So, there are people who pay me big bucks to come in. A lot of it relates also to my kids and being able to say, "We’re going to do this for 30 minutes."

And I also tap into a lot and I suggest people try multi-sensory. So, we all have our five senses, but we all have different preferences for which one. So, for one of my kids, it was like he wants to sit in just that one spot with this one thing. It’s just that comfort. For one of my kids, he wanted absolute quiet. The other one, he wanted his headphones on. And so, rather than being like, this is how we study. It was like, what is your multi-sensory comfort blankets that help you? But for both of them, within that doing something that’s time-bound is really helpful.

And by the way for us adult humans too because it says to the busy, busy buzzing brain, listen, friends. You can open up all those browser windows in a little bit, but for the next 10 minutes, focus on this. And when the brain releases that I have to carry everybody’s water right now, for 10 minutes, we’re just doing this. And then, the timer will happen, and then you condition yourself. So, a lot of that too was we’re going to do this for 30 minutes or 15 this, 15 this. And then, go play, go run, go whatever. So, it’s the, if this, then this. And we all need that.

CAMILLE [30:20]

Yeah. I think that that gives your brain a sense of control in that you know you don't have to be thinking and caring like you said all the things that it’s like, okay, I’m giving myself permission to just focus on this. Are you a practicing meditator? Do you meditate? Is that something that you do?

KRISTIN [30:41]

It’s funny that you ask me that because the short answer is yes. But I’ve done it a lot intermittently. And this year, this calendar year so far I’ve been doing a 90-day challenge. And one of the things in those 90 days is 20 minutes of meditation. And I know a lot of other humans are like 20? 2 minutes, I can do 2 minutes.

And the 20 minutes of meditation has really calmed that busy brain at the start of the day. It’s again something that needs to resonate with people, but it has been a big component for me of feeling more centered, just like exercise releases different energies for me. Meditation is like I can literally feel my face relax for 20 minutes.

CAMILLE [31:33]

I believe it. One of my favorite books is Think Like A Monk. And it’s funny because he can get into it immediately because he’s so practiced, but to get into his really deep meditation, it could take that 20 minutes, and then he’s meditating for 2 hours, which I’m like, okay, I don’t have that much time.

But I do believe that there is benefit to it, especially when you allow what he calls the monkey brain to become silent where it’s like that chattering box. It can still be there, but it takes practice to help it quiet, which I think is something that takes practice, which just like anything else, it’s just committing to that practice and knowing you don’t have to be perfect to get the benefit from it.

KRISTIN [32:25]

I love how you said that because the other benefit of meditation is you start to trust yourself again. So, when you’re in the middle of meditation, your mind wanders because it will. You trust that your future self is going to remember that thing that you don’t have to jump or write it down or open something and that trust of just that stillness that your brain will still show up for you 90 minutes later. And the more you do that, the more it does, your brain, it does its job really, really well and just trusting yourself is something that was an unexpected benefit for me.

CAMILLE [33:01]

Yeah. So, it sounds like and this is something I’m trying to improve on as I knocked it a little bit, but I do think morning rituals are so profound in reaching our full potential. Do you have a morning practice that you subscribe to and practice?

KRISTIN [33:18]

I do. Remember when I said I was a professional nerd? I don’t want to overwhelm people.

CAMILLE [33:22]

I want to hear it. I love asking this question.

KRISTIN [33:25]

Okay. I’ll tell you my whole thing, but know that I’m not putting it out there as a work block. So, I want to say that upfront.

CAMILLE [33:31]

Yeah. And honestly I feel like this is something that if you’re interested in doing it like I am, I can start with 10 minutes of meditation and 30 minutes of exercise and you can take it a step at a time. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, I will do this. And my brain will be ready for this forever. You can take it in stages. So, I’m sure that this is something that you have worked on and refined, but yes, please share with us what that is.

KRISTIN [33:55]

Yeah, my big headline is consistency beats effort every day. Actually, one of my favorite quotes says, successful people do consistently what other people do occasionally.

CAMILLE [34:06]

I love that.

KRISTIN [34:07]

And so, I’ll walk you through my thing. So, I get up at 5 most days. This is new for me. I’m doing it for the challenge. I think I might slide back. Now, I'm the early bird. I wouldn’t put that on my partner because that’s not his wiring. But that really allows more of that. So, I get up at 5. I drink 3 liters of water a day. That’s a thing. I’m not drinking alcohol and I’m not having excess sugar right now. That doesn’t mean I'm never going to do it. And part of the practice is you get passes. So, if there’s a friend’s birthday or things like that, you can still do that.

CAMILLE [34:43]

Special occasions, okay.

KRISTIN [34:43]

So, 20 minutes of silence and stillness, which is when I do my meditation. 20 minutes of continuous movement, it could be walking a dog. It could be your yoga stretches. It’s not about you have to take this aerobic thing. It’s just what does that mean to you? 20 minutes of learning and growth. Sometimes, I’m listening to a podcast while walking my dog. Habit stacking is a very real thing.

CAMILLE [35:08]

Love it, yes.

KRISTIN [35:10]

And then, I'm part of an entrepreneurs' group and we post a daily win. We just go into Slack and post a win. Usually, a sentence or two. That practice does two things. One, of course, is looking for gratitude and success in your days and getting comfortable sharing yourself out loud.

CAMILLE [35:30]

And tell me why that’s important. Tell me why it’s important that we share ourselves out loud.

KRISTIN [35:34]

I think psychologically, back to what we were talking about in the very beginning with permission. It is very easy for us to be like, I only will get to the end of the day and we'll look at the report car of what we failed and not what we succeeded. And so, finding the success in the everydays.

And I had a practice that I brought to my kids when they were younger. I was in Africa years ago and there was a practice in Swahili at meal times that they would share their highlights of the day and they called it lala salama. It was before bedtime and it really meant reflecting what I saw on other people like wins.

And so, we started that practice as a family. And there's something around that too with posting wins that’s saying I saw goodness in the day. And by putting out there before the night comes, it’s also planting a seed for goodness in future days. And I think for us and for parents and the busy buzzers, we can quickly tell you what didn’t get done that day, but psychologically, shifting and being like, I’m actually proud of myself even if you don’t believe it at the time, I’m proud of myself for, that's a huge thing especially when you want to get into business and being an entrepreneur. You need to get comfortable having your own words in your mouth. And so, it’s a consistent practice.

CAMILLE [36:57]

I love that. I love that you shared that because with my kids, we did high, low, and did you know? Which is really fun. My kids love it. We do it every night. Even as parents, we take a turn sharing that. And you learn so much about what stuck out in the day to your kid. And not only the best things, but also some things that maybe they didn't like, but I love that piece of what good did you see or what was good that you did? I think that that's so beautiful.

KRISTIN [37:27]

It’s important. One other habit I want to mention just because I’ve been doing it long before this challenge, I do a practice called the power five. And so, everyday I come up with five things and it’s not about that they all have to be done. It’s about the focused task of what rises above, what gets on the radar. Because a lot of us start our day and everybody else's monkeys get into our own monkeys. So, even just having written that down has already helped my brain prioritize differently.

And then all in that same period, I’ve got the consistency. For the last 90 days, I’ve been doing pushups and situps only for a minute, but the little incremental 1% better is a big game changer for me as a momma and just as a human of what if I did 100 sit ups on one day or just 10 a day or a little bit more? And so, it’s that element of not having to be perfect like what we said earlier and just showing up. And then, you feel proud of that and you start to trust that you can do it again tomorrow.

CAMILLE [38:33]

I love it. This has been absolutely incredible. Thank you so much. I feel like we have dug into some really incredible progress, not only for you as individuals, but relationships and in parenting and in business. We’ve covered so much. Please tell our audience where they can find you.

KRISTIN [38:52]

Please come find me. I write a lot on LinkedIn. So, you can find me at Kristin Graham there. And online at www.unlockthebrain.com and I mentioned my podcast, which is Fewer Things Better and the gift I give in those is it’s always 10 minutes or less.

CAMILLE [39:08]

That’s awesome. Again, thank you, thank you so much. This has been such a good time and I appreciate you so much.

KRISTIN [39:16]

Same, same. Thanks for having me on.

[MUSIC]

CAMILLE [39:18]

All right. I wanted to bring you guys a testimonial. I’ve talked a lot about helping entrepreneurs with bringing on a virtual assistant to help them in their lives, their white space, and in their business. And Kristin is someone who I helped line up with one of my virtual assistant graduates. And Kristin, will you share with us what your experience has been like?

KRISTIN [39:39]

It has been liberating as a go, go working mom, I always felt I had to do everything myself, but wouldn’t get done right. And I knew for at least a year I needed help. I just didn’t trust that I could find the help that I needed and I convinced myself I didn’t have time to train somebody.

So, when I heard about you and you were a referral, it was like skipping a line. I got a backstage pass and everybody you put me in contact with is better than I expected. And the individual I work with now, she just uplevels my game.

I am finally the business person that I know I’m capable of being, but I'm also the friend who remembers the birthdays, gets things done, gets that sent out. And as a traveler, I travel a lot. It’s worry-free and I'm finally the person that everybody else counts on. When I show up for them, I finally have that for myself. It’s been life changing.

CAMILLE [40:37]

I love it. Thank you for sharing that testimonial. It’s been so fulfilling to see that on both sides. And I’m so grateful it was an awesome match.

KRISTIN [40:47]

100%. Thank you, friend.

CAMILLE [40:44]

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you found it helpful, please share it with a friend. Any time that you share, leave a comment, a rating or review or subscribe, those are all things that help this podcast grow and help women entrepreneurs all over the world. Thank you so much for listening and I will see you next week, my friend.

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