233: Finding Purpose in Every Moment: Strategies from Heather Chauvin

Heather: 0:00

Yeah, the tools have always changed and evolved, and I'm the type of person that is always seeking, I guess, to feel better. I didn't know that, but I would question everything.

Camille: 0:23

So you want to make an impact. You're thinking about starting a business, sharing your voice. How do women do it that handle motherhood, family and still chase after those dreams? We'll listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know. This is Call Me CEO. Welcome back everyone to Call Me CEO.

Camille: 0:46

This is your host, Camille Walker, and here we talk about women building businesses and living real lives. And today I want to talk about what is the magic of showing up in the life you want to live and how you are using your time. Ultimately, at the end of the day, we can be as productive as ever, we can check off all of those boxes, but at the end of the day, are you really feeling like you are showing up and living the life you want to live? And when your head hits that pillow, you think, gosh, that was really worth it. That was worth it. Every day is not that way, as we know, but today we're going to speak with an expert on how to really feel purposeful in your time, feel fulfilled, and we have Heather Chauvet on the call with us today. I'm so excited to have you. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Heather: 1:35

I am so excited we're newfound friends.

Camille: 1:38

Thank you, Camille. Yes, we are. It's so fun to meet like-minded people, especially where I feel like the internet can feel like such an intangible place sometimes, where we're like are people listening, Are we really connecting? And we're especially in America right now. We just finished up an election cycle. There's a lot of divisiveness and it's when I have one-on-one conversations that I realize there is so much more unity and likeness than there is divisiveness. If we take the time and Heather is our neighbor, Canadian, so she is not an American bless you, Cause I'm sure you're watching from a distance, going what is happening over there, Cause we are feeling that way too. But tell us a little bit more about you, your family and what you do all day, every day and filling your life's purpose.

Heather: 2:29

Yeah, and so kind of piggybacking off of the whole. Um, it's the beauty of the internet is finding, is seeking and finding what you need. And I know you and I have been in this world for a very long time and it has evolved and changed over time. So my story starts, um, actually, when I became a mother and mothering was the first moment that cracked me open in my life and I started, uh like right out of the gate, feeling like I was failing as a mother. I was 18 years old and, um, I was single, uh, living in my mother's basement, just found out I was pregnant a few weeks before I graduated high school, not living in alignment. In hindsight I didn't know that, I couldn't put terms to that, but I just remember thinking two things I never want my child to feel the way that I felt as a child and I don't want my child to become a statistic. Or I don't want our story to become a statistic, or I don't want our story to become a statistic because I could feel the projection, expectation or lowering of expectation of who I was going to become as an adult, so being an under I called myself an underperformer at the time but my coping strategy.

Heather: 4:02

As a teenager who felt incredibly overwhelmed by my big emotions and the world and not knowing how to manage my own energy emotional energy I regressed and I would sleep a lot and I would shrink. And when I became a mother, I kind of swung the pendulum the other way and that then I became the overachiever and I was checking the boxes because I was so afraid that I was going to fail as like, my primal role as a mother that I was like, okay, what does a good mother do? Like what's the definition? I am going to live up to this. And so what did I do? I looked towards other women as role models and I started checking the boxes. I got the education, I became a social worker. I was trying to be good, good, good, good, good.

Heather: 4:52

I remember actually somebody in my family telling me Heather and it was like such a metaphor Now you cannot buy the good shampoo, you are a mother. And that to me at the time, because I enjoyed my hair and I was like you're telling me, if I spend an extra $10 on a bottle of shampoo, that makes me a bad person and I could connect the well, I'm going to feel less than I'm going to feel like crap. So how is that going to make me good? I'm going to be irritable and like I could see that in my mind. But I thought, oh okay, If that's what good, good women do, good mothers do, then I'm just going to give, give, give, give, give and I'm not going to receive anything. So, of course, every time I received anything or gave myself something, I was either judged for it like you know from my inner circle or the women that were around me or I was judging myself for it. But I was like this feels so good, but why does it feel quote unquote bad? Yeah, so I had these little glimmers of hope, these little like questions that I would ask myself. But I also was like just keep pushing through, keep pushing through. This is what a good mother does. And so, as I went on my journey, I got the job, got the pinnacle job.

Heather: 6:05

I remember being a social worker and feeling the like passion I had to make an impact and then realizing very quickly that I worked into in a system that was not making an impact and I just started like pulling back the layers. But my soul, like my insides, were like not this, not this, heather, you cannot do this for 30 years. And that scared the crap out of me because I'm like I've worked so hard to be here and this is what good women do. Why am I like fighting this? Like stop. Like I'm trying to like you know, I gotta make money, I gotta do the thing I gotta, I want to make an impact, I gotta feed my son and fast forward.

Heather: 6:50

I went down the rabbit hole of uh, it was actually like one of the first little funnels Like this is when Facebook ads just started. I remember listening to a woman talking about business. Um, she was wearing like ripped jeans and I was like, oh, she looks cool, she looks like, she's like really embodied, like herself and her identity. But she's talking about how to make an impact in the world. And so I realized in that moment there was another way to live, there was another way to work, and so that's when coaching entered my life and I slowly started removing myself from traditional models of parenting, traditional models of working, living, health, traditional models of who I need to be as a air quote good mother, woman, wife, all the things.

Heather: 7:39

When I left my job, I was about maybe six months plus out. At this point, I had three children, and my youngest was a year old, married and I was diagnosed with a stage four cancer in startup in my business. So I had no safety net. And it was in that moment of that journey where I was like and it was in that moment of that journey where I was like, okay, heather, you bought into this cultural belief that being a good mother equals give, give, give, give, give, and there's a primal instinct here to be of service.

Heather: 8:18

But you got to figure out how to feel alive. You got to figure out how to take care of yourself while also juggling all these other things because, as you can see, this is not sustainable. And you've been seeking and searching for female role models and you you cannot find one woman who is taking a stand for saying this is the honest truth of how you can do both successfully. It's not about having it all, it's not about doing it all. There's no perfection here. So I needed to become that woman in that role model. So that was like this this December will be 11 years since my diagnosis. I'm healthier than I've ever been. Make you know, I I feel pretty abundant in all areas of my life and I had to yeah, I had to become the role model that I wanted myself when I was a younger mom.

Camille: 9:12

Wow, that's incredible, I. I just want to back up and unpack a little bit. Going back to your teen years, you mentioned that you wanted to create a household or a different way of doing parenting and connection and and being that mom. One thing that I've heard people share with me is that when they've grown up in an environment that they haven't loved, how do you model or find what it is that you do want? How did you create that or identify what you were looking for, what it?

Heather: 9:45

is that you do want. How did you create that or identify what you were looking for? The interesting part is, when I look on the outside of my childhood, it is it wasn't, I'm not going to say incredibly traumatic by any means. It looked, quote, unquote normal. I would say the environment was what was going on within me and this is something that you know. I know my parents didn't talk about. Their parents didn't talk about emotional intelligence or generational patterns and things like that. Like we're just having different conversations, we're pulling back the layers, right. So you have to be, you have to learn. It's about new skills, new practices, like we are all overcoming something, we're all trying to create something that we personally have not experienced in our lifetime, and that is why patterns continue with generational patterns, whether it's financial patterns, mental health patterns, health patterns in general.

Heather: 10:47

I actually don't accept any. Like you know, since my cancer diagnosis, people are like, does it run in your family? And I'm like, have you ever heard of epigenetics? Like there is so much out there, it doesn't not everything needs to be a pattern. You can have predisposition to anything, but if you say not this, not this, not this, and so going back to that, it wasn't necessarily of like. I don't want my son to experience the same external environment that I experienced. It was the internal, and I was so obsessed with discovering and learning about human behavior and emotion and so when I balanced that with social work and wanting to help people, I really fell in love with seeing and understanding human behavior and learning how to dissect that, and that's where I discovered about emotional intelligence. So it wasn't looking back on my younger self.

Heather: 11:46

You know people were labeling me as depressed or defiant or lazy, when the reality was, I was incredibly anxious, did not know that I actually probably in some capacity, was malnourished. Like you know, on your podcast or my podcast, you were talking about the five pillars and these just weren't things that were like did you eat today? What did you eat? Like? These were not questions that were asked right, did you get outside? There was no one like getting me up and helping me do these things, but they were quick and I say no one.

Heather: 12:27

My mother was a single mother and she worked her off and it just wasn't the thing that happened in my family. I didn't have that one person that was like you're going to do this, you're going to do this You're come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. And then, when I did have adult role models, it was like well, let's figure out what's wrong with you and let's get a diagnosis, let's put a label on your behavior. Let's not help teach you tools to learn about yourself. And so then I just sat back, tried to express myself and it was like let's throw this label on, let's throw this label on.

Heather: 13:04

And so, of course, we're all trying to heal, like our younger selves. And so the work that I started doing, like ed teaching adults, was like go get that diagnosis for your child, go down that path, but that actually doesn't fix anything. Go get that diagnosis for yourself, go seek disease, go go. But nothing needs to be fixed. It's misaligned. And so if we're paying attention to the behavior, then we can learn to get back in alignment with who we are. But so many of us don't know who we are, and so our outside world is like constantly projecting to show us where we're misaligned.

Camille: 13:41

Ooh, this is a good conversation. So I'm curious with finding that alignment because there are. I feel like it's a two-edged sword, because it is very powerful to maybe seek and understand diagnoses for the purposes of finding tools to help that person to process or to function in life better. But I'm curious for you specifically, where you talk about that and using your time to be more in alignment, what are some tools that you've been able to use to help you to create that homeostasis or that contentment or that those resolutions you're looking for?

Heather: 14:22

Yeah, the tools have always changed and evolved, and I'm the type of person that is always seeking something, I guess, to feel better. I didn't know that, but I would question everything. And so it the journey. It's interesting how our children kind of walk us through this process too, because it's so much easier to want to help your children than to help yourself. And so it started with me being reactive as a mother, like yelling and going listen to me, stop do this. Blah, blah, blah. And my boys are now almost 20, 15 and 12. And so it was the oldest one where I'm like this is not how I want to react.

Heather: 15:07

And so my first digital product online that I that I created was called teach your kid to meditate, because I was like my kid needs to meditate, they need to calm down, they need to do this because that's what I was saying. And then here I am, being reactive when I'm trying to get my child to be calm, and I'm like who do you actually think needs to be calm here? So the first tool that I found that was of service was meditation and mindfulness, which was just learning to be with myself, like just five minutes, you know, whether, whatever music you're listening to. I mean, you could just sit there and close your eyes in complete silence and just be with yourself, be with everything that's inside of you and be with your child's discomfort, be with your child's big emotions, but then learning what is inside of me that needs to be regulated. And then, as that started, it was like the journey of becoming and learning. Like, very early on I was into yoga, I was into very grounded, calm practices because that was the energy I needed most in my life.

Heather: 16:18

And then, as things have evolved, things have definitely changed after my diagnosis. Okay, so I had nine years of personal development under my belt. Nine years, almost a decade. Then my diagnosis comes and I was like that felt like the training plan for this race that I'm about, like now's go time, now I'm at the Olympics, right, like I got to, there's no more practicing, this is it. There's no more training.

Heather: 16:46

And when my diagnosis happened, I thought, okay, I have nine years of personal development under my belt. I know what all this feel good crap is. You know all this, the book, the secret, everything is. You know all the personal development. I'm like how can I make this practical? And so I created something called energetic time management?

Heather: 17:08

Um, because I believe there's three resources that we have. We have time as a resource. We have energy as a resource, like our physical energy, our mental energy, our emotional energy, even like to me and my beliefs, like our spiritual desires of like what's inside of me that wants to like come to life. And then we have financial resource. We need all three resources and I think oftentimes women don't value their own resources, and I believe a well-resourced women is going to change the world, and that's the secret, because we cannot be present with our children in order to.

Heather: 17:52

You know, we want to do all these things, but when I started my work, what I kept hearing was Heather, I don't have time to implement these tools, my marriage is falling apart, I don't like enjoy my career, I like there was always. We could call them excuses, but there was these blocks that were getting in the way of implementing the tools. And so energetic time management for me was let's first get clear on what you desire. I'm not asking you what you want. You don't need to change your whole life tomorrow. Then let's get clear on the feeling that you're after.

Heather: 18:26

Everyone tells me I want to feel alive, I want to feel energized. No one says I want to feel like shit, I want to be in debt, I want to do this. I want, like we know, we want to feel good in some capacity. And then let now let's get to the practical, let's get to the tangible, let's get to the task. Now let's put it on the physical calendar. Then your brain goes from what's not working to like like being the victim to the creator and you're kind of like reaching for the future instead of staying stuck in the past. And so energetic time management was the tool I had to create for myself so that I could use the resource of time and my energy when I felt like I had no physical energy because I was so sick, to get my brain out of the past and into the future, because I knew I could no longer live, work or parent that way.

Camille: 19:21

Wow, that's really powerful. I love that you talk about our resources of time different in different ways, because it really comes down to the fundamentals, of time is our most valuable resource, and so to really be cognizant of that and using it for what we ultimately desire is very powerful. What would you say, as you've helped coach people through this process, are some of the most fundamental steps for identifying that and then using that energy well, when it actually comes to the pen to paper?

Heather: 19:58

The first thing I want to say because everyone's always like what are the steps? What are the strategies? What's you know? What do I need to do? I think there's things that need to happen before we even decide to do this is you need to choose change.

Heather: 20:11

Like you, I think there's a part of you that needs to be done with something. I see it a lot when I'm talking to people. I'm like you sound curious to me, you don't sound committed, and some people don't like being called out like that, and I've been known for telling people what they need to hear, not always what they want to hear. It could be said in a loving, kind way, but I remember during my diagnosis I mentally was like I'm going to check my suffering box, I'm done, I will never get here again, whatever belief I had that allowed me to act in a certain way, that allowed me to convince myself that I don't have time to do something. Even if it's 10 minutes, I am done telling myself that story. I'm done giving my power away to that story. Also, not caring what other people thought that's a big thing too. So you have to get to a point where you are done with something, experiencing something in your life. Then there's also like a little bit of ownership that needs to be taken, like I am scared but I am going to take radical responsibility for the outcome that I desire, or I'm going to take radical responsibility for how I got here. Then we can go pen to paper, pen to paper.

Heather: 21:35

The question I like to ask is wouldn't it be nice if I still use this journal prompt to this day? I put it at the top of a piece of paper. I do this in all areas of my life. If I'm trying to figure out a challenge that I'm having in a certain area of my life with my business, my children, my health I just will hold myself in space like silence. And if there's a lot of chaos going around, I will put some noise canceling headphones on with some like focus frequencies or something, and I'm like Heather, you're going to give yourself five minutes and you are going to write down.

Heather: 22:09

Wouldn't it be nice if and you were just going to let yourself, let it out of what you truly want and desire? So sometimes it's wouldn't it be nice if the sun was shining? Wouldn't it be nice if someone gave me a glass of water? Wouldn't it be nice if you know, I didn't stress about X, y, z. Wouldn't it be nice and it might be wouldn't it be nice if so-and-so child could regulate their own emotions? Wouldn't it be nice if they weren't so combative with me?

Heather: 22:34

But everything I desire doesn't you know? Some of it I might not be taking ownership for, or I'm trying to do someone else's work for them, like control other people's behavior. But those are breadcrumbs. They're in you, right? There's something inside of you that wants your attention. And then I asked myself what's the feeling I'm after? So the feeling is wouldn't it be nice if the sun was shining? Okay, why? Like, what is the desire behind that? What's the feeling that I think I'm after? It might just be warmth, like, just write it down.

Heather: 23:07

So then you get this list, then you go to what do I need to do in order to feel these ways? And I there's something I talk about called the profit rule um, three 20 minute tasks a day and I everything I do is so like practical and tiny and baby steppy. And people are like okay, I get it, it's easy. And I was like but it's emotionally uncomfortable to implement.

Heather: 23:35

Because when we are leaning into action, like I'm heavy on action. I'm like we're not here to inspire you, like, yeah, yeah, rah, rah, you can get inspired by me, but the magic happens when you take action, because then you're going to put these things on your calendar. You're like I have a 20 minute walk, okay, what's going to get in the way of that if your brain is not used to walking every day? Right, when you have not habitually become that type of person, when your identity is not wrapped around that anymore, all of a sudden, your kids are going to cry.

Heather: 24:06

When you leave, your brain is going to find literally dirt on the floor that you need to scrub with a toothbrush. All these things are going to come in the way, but the magic is in the action, and so you're like leaning into your edges Once you start doing this like this is the process of energetic time management, and you begin to reverse engineer how you wanna feel, which allows you to go. Oh my gosh, look how busy I am. Look at all the busy work that I'm creating to avoid doing the things that I know are going to move the needle in my life, and that's where we get to buy back our time and energy.

Camille: 24:45

So the profit, the three profit rule is that like 20 minute stints through the day that you do three times. Is that what that is?

Heather: 24:53

Yeah. So I define profit as, like the re, the three resources. So time flexibility, time freedom, um, emotional freedom, and there's um, yeah, emotional or energetic freedom, and there's four types of energy that I talk about. So, and then financial freedom. So, based on who like, where you are, what level you're at.

Heather: 25:15

Usually, when people come in my program, we talk about it. We make sure you have your focus plan. People resist it so much and then in 30 days they're like, oh my gosh, that was, I feel, so much better and more aligned. But we're looking at where you are and where you need to focus so you can feel profitable in your life. If you want to do it all in the morning when you wake up, great your life. If you want to do it all in the morning when you wake up, great.

Heather: 25:38

If you want to do one in the morning, one at lunch, one in the evening, or if you're like you know you're in a phase where you're like, oh yeah, I'm going to do it then, then then the point is that you're getting these three things done before you go to bed at night. So if you're crunching them in before you go to bed because you're just like, oh my gosh, I'm not living a sustainable life. That's okay, you might be squeaking it in before bed, but it's observe how many times you're doing it, how many times you're not doing it, and then try to be like yeah, look at like, I have the system, I have the plan, but I'm not implementing. I think that's where coaching comes in and that's where the magic happens, because everyone's like I know what I need to do, I'm just not doing it. And I was like the just not doing it part.

Heather: 26:22

That is where your growth opportunity is, that's where we get to heal, that's where we get to grow, because that's in there, like that's where I like to pull back the curtains. I'm like in there is lack of worthiness, in there is a lot of fear, a lot of guilt is lack of worthiness. In there is a lot of fear, a lot of guilt. And when we can learn to master those emotions, that is where your life changes, because you realize you're giving your power away to your emotion. You're not co-creating your life with them.

Camille: 26:49

Ooh, I love this. That's so powerful and I love that where you say it's the fundamentals, it's the simple steps. Ultimately, I think any change happens, any sustainable change that is actually going to stick around, happens with small incremental changes, that it's not so much about all or nothing, and I think that's where a lot of people get tripped up as they approach changes that way, which this episode will be going live in January, and maybe many of you have started with some intentions for the year or some new year's resolutions, but I think oftentimes those can be too much all at once. And why always at the beginning of the year? You know it's not this magical thing that happens. It could be a new beginning any day you decide it to be. So I'm curious. So, with the process of changing and coaching, is there a story you could tell us, maybe, of implementing this three profit strategy? That has been a really neat thing for you to stand back and see as a coach.

Heather: 27:50

Yeah, so something that you were just talking about, the all or nothing. I feel like all or nothing in perfectionism. Everyone will say, oh I, I'm so all or nothing. Or I identify as a perfectionist and I'm like, pay attention to what you identify as Literally, just pay attention and you're identifying with a coping strategy. It's like saying I'm an alcoholic, like you are identifying with a coping strategy. So instead of going, oh, I enjoy hiking, like pay attention to what you are saying about yourself and go, do I want to be this anymore? So we have to heal these parts of ourselves. We have to heal the all or nothing. And what got you here is not going to get you there, right? We hear that all the time. So I have to think about that all the time. When I'm about to go do something new, I will ask myself do I even know the skills that are required? And I will go after the people that have already accomplished what I desire, or a version of it, and I will learn and grow and take action.

Heather: 29:09

I have worked with hundreds of women that go through this process, who come in, and this is what I often see a lot of times is they'll come in working in a profession. So not everyone I work with is a business owner, but I'll get like physicians, I'll get lawyers, people in corporate settings and business owners. But they will flat out come in and say I need to change my career. Flat out, I need to change my career. And I'm like, okay, but before you do that, how about we just try this? Let's make this decision in three months and see how you feel. And I see I saw this a lot through the pandemic. So women would come to me. That was where the great what would they call it? The great quitting or whatever where women were leaving the workforce at like a rapid rate because they were homeschooling their children at the same time. I saw this all the time Like I had big, big leaders coming to me from big companies and they're like the quiet quitting or whatever they were calling it. And she's like I got to start a business because blah, blah, blah Starts a business and goes oh my gosh, this is not in alignment with what I want. Re-enters corporate and goes yeah, this is so much easier. I get it now and I'm like why did you think you needed to change your career? She's like because I needed to become a different version of myself.

Heather: 30:29

So, like healing the people, pleaser, learning boundaries, learning at the energetic time management process, implementing that, really communicating her needs, really getting super crystal clear where her energy leaks were and understanding that she was part of the problem. She was part of the equation. Not everything that was happening around her was because of her. So when we take on too much ownership for children's behavior or too much ownership for the world but we need to start valuing ourselves we need to raise our standards for how we invest our resources, our time and our energy. Typically we're just giving it away for free and people don't respect it because we're not respecting it, and so they're learning that and they're reentering the workforce going.

Heather: 31:28

Now I have boundaries. Now my computer closes. Now I can get way more done in less time. I can know how to pitch myself to my employer and say I have a proposal for you for a four-day work week and I'm asking for a raise and I want to go down to three days and I'm going to get more done. Can I show you that this is possible? And they're like prove it, prove it.

Heather: 31:55

I've had people come back and go. I was an underperformer at work. I got a promotion and a bonus, so that's like corporate world, but it's also really about this sense of fulfillment. Every single day I get messages from old clients coming back or like just sending me messages going, this is what's possible. Or current clients with their teenagers this is a big one too, like. I talk a lot about relationships and they're like, heather, I came to you because I felt like my daughter was slipping away and she was going off to college next year and now we have such a deep connection. I just want to thank you for this relationship. I wouldn't have been able to do this without your work and I was like but you showed up, you did all of that work, and so it's really getting super crystal clear on who you want to be, how you want to feel and the life you want to live, and then you have to have the courage to become that type of person.

Camille: 32:58

So powerful. Well, this has been absolutely amazing. I would love for you to share with the audience where they can find you. You have an amazing podcast and there are over a thousand episodes, and what's neat, too, is that they're divided into these three core energies of the parenting, money and emotion, and I think that's really neat too. So if you're looking for a specific type of energy alignment, you can go and find it there, but please tell our audience more about that.

Heather: 33:28

Yeah, so emotionally uncomfortable. Um is the name of the podcast and kind of the energetic time management process I was talking about. I show people I have a like free resource that you can go to. It's just Heather Chauvin, c-h-a-u-v-i-n, that's a V, not not B. Sometimes people are like did you say B? So heatherschauvincom forward, slash time T-I-M-E. And I give you a workbook and PDF six step process that you can go through and it's like a practice, it's a life practice. So it's not a one and done, but change is possible. You just you got to believe that. You know change needs to occur.

Camille: 34:09

Yeah, I love that. Well, there's a question, a set of questions. I ask everyone that comes on the show, and I didn't set you up for this, so, but I think you'll be able to handle it just fine. What are you reading, watching or listening to? And then the second question is a parenting moment that you could share with us a motherhood moment.

Heather: 34:31

Reading, watching and listening to. Honestly, I'm big into fiction. Right now, I'm so into nonfiction and personal development that I'm just like I need.

Camille: 34:42

I need to have a break.

Heather: 34:44

Yeah, a hundred percent. Nothing in particular, just little fiction here or there. Um, I'm back into like friends or like just watching it over and over and over again. So I'm in that season, um, but taking a break. But I'm also, I can feel myself, getting into a season of getting back to writing, and so I'm really intrigued by people's stories and storytelling and how, how they're writing. So we're headed in there.

Heather: 35:12

What was the other question? Oh, parenting moment. Yeah, so actually this was a recent one with my oldest, who's almost 20, and he struggled a lot the last few years, not so much the last few years, but in high school. So we've been, we've been good for a little while, but it was during COVID. We did not I say we because we were both struggling with that season and just recently he has like told me that you know, he's like I am, he's doing phenomenal and he's in a sales job now and he's getting so many compliments, um, at work People are like how old are you?

Heather: 35:52

Like they're just blown away by his level of emotional intelligence and he's like I struggled so hard in school, mom, and part of that reason why? Was because you, you taught me there was another way to live. You taught me that I didn't have to accept the norm and I wouldn't be who I am today without you. And, like it gets me choked up because, you know, at the beginning of our conversation I talked about not becoming a statistic, and I think, as parents, we just want the best for our children, but we wildly undervalue the impact of becoming the type of person that our children, that we want our children to be, want our children to be, and so that was a big moment for me to see that all of the work that I have done on myself in the last 20 years really does pay off. The ROI and the investment in self will pay dividends if you just keep trusting the process. And so, yeah, just seeing that it's not what we do for our kids but it's who we, who we be for them, makes the biggest impact.

Camille: 37:07

I love that and do you. I'm curious with maybe morning routines or rituals that you have specifically that have helped you to heal and grow. What are some of those for you specifically that have been really impactful to becoming that person?

Heather: 37:22

Okay.

Heather: 37:22

So I'm asked this all the time and I I love systems and processes and routines and I'm a rebel, so I get bored easy and so I'm changing things up all the time, and I'm actually currently in a season of having very slow mornings, and I don't know when this happened. But you know I don't put anything on my calendar till about 11 o'clock. I try not to have a meeting until 11. And I thought, oh, I need to become that person that wakes up at five o'clock and rushes out the door, does the workout, does the checking, all the boxes and there were seasons of my life where I really had to hang on to a routine like that. But I wake up and the first thing I say is thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Heather: 38:16

Um, and I really sit in silence, no special app. Sometimes I journal and sometimes I just sit with tears of gratitude and it's giving me a moment right now where I just I've built this life, I've created this life, I am safe, I am healthy, and I think we just fill our lives with so much crap that are not aligned with how we want to feel and to be able to sit in silence and be okay with that. That's my routine right now.

Camille: 38:54

I love that. I love that so much and, especially if you've listened to the last episode, it's a very different message from the one I just recorded. That will have gone live just before this and I just want to highlight that and say that is okay that these women are in different seasons and looking for different resolution and peace, and it comes differently for us at different times for different reasons. So thank you so much for sharing that, heather. I feel like that is so impactful and beautiful and that gratitude of just being grateful is so powerful. I went to an event list last week and it said to live in gratitude is to touch heaven every day, and I think that there's so much power in that, so much power and gratitude, and I'm grateful that you were on the show today. Thank you again for being on the show. I really appreciate it. Thank you All right For everyone listening. Thank you for being here.

Camille: 39:47

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