248: Creating Calm in the Chaos: Real-Life Summer Systems for Moms

Camille: 0:00

Now, with all of that being said, I have always had more of a checklist and a routine for my kids in the summer than I do in the school year, because, in a lot of ways, if I didn't do that or structure my day with some context of structure, things wouldn't get done around the house and my kids would immediately go to screens. So you want to make an impact. You're thinking about starting a business, sharing your voice. How do women do it that handle motherhood, family and still chase after those dreams? We'll listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know this is Call Me CEO. Listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know this is Call Me CEO. Hey, welcome back everyone. This is Camille, your host, and this is a solo episode which I'm trying to do more of because you guys are liking them, which is a compliment to me. Thank you for being here and if you're not already subscribed, please subscribe. I would love to have your support and any review is fantastic. Hopefully it's a good one.

Camille: 1:07

So today we're going to talk about the craziness of summer, because I'm recording this on May the 7th and we are in the middle of what I like to call Maycember. It is absolutely nuts. I have at least one, two or three things happening every day, every night, running from one event to the other. I think they make May miserable. So by the time June rolls around and it's summertime, we take a deep sigh of relief because the final projects are over, the themed costume days are done and we want to go to the pool and lay around and have a good time and connect with our kids. Summertime is magical.

Camille: 1:48

It is also a big worry for a lot of moms, especially when you're working. You have deadlines and there's things going on. I like to look at every season as a mom, with fresh eyes, because every summer is going to look different than the summer before. With fresh eyes, because every summer is going to look different than the summer before, just as a new school year will look different from the year before. You have kids at new ages, new stages, new needs, mental health, physical health. It all impacts how you show up as a mom.

Camille: 2:27

So whichever stage you are at, whatever season you are at, take this episode with a grain of salt. It may be different for you than it is for me right now. Chances are that it is. I have kids that are in high school, junior high and elementary school ages right now, and the things that we'll be doing and filling up our time with this summer most definitely look different than they were five and 10 years ago. But underneath it all is summer, is a time to recharge and to play, and what does that look like for you? What does that look like for your kids? How do you want things to feel this summer?

Camille: 2:54

So, as you're listening to this episode, I have some resources for you and I have some ideas for you, but I want you to take them with a grain of salt. Take what works for you, talk to your kids, talk to your partner. What do you want to create this summer? Okay, let's dive in, just like that pool that we all want to dive into. All right, so creating calm and chaos. What are some real life summer systems for moms?

Camille: 3:19

I have been sharing content about this literally for over a decade at mymommystylecom. I am going to be sharing a little bit about that, but also how to stay sane while having fun and keeping your household running somewhat smooth, because, let's be honest, summer is awesome, but it can also be a lot. Routines fly out of the window, snacks disappear in minutes and suddenly you're managing a camp, a kitchen and a circus all in one. Does that sound familiar? Well, today I want to tell you that I want you to embrace the imperfect, to build routines, to actually help and to delegate. Like the queen that you are, I like to focus most on connection in the summer, to create memories and to have it be about the event, not how it looks, which can be tricky sometimes. So I want you to think about what does it mean to create the perfect summer and I think what it looks like is to understand and know it's not going to be perfect that your kids will remember most how they feel, not that it was a Pinterest perfect event. And there I literally have had moments where I have wanted things to look a certain way because I was filming them for a blog years ago, or that if the house was a bit messy or if the schedule is loose, that that's okay, that being present or trying to do the best you can is create the connection Okay, and that it's not about having every day look a specific way.

Camille: 4:52

Now, with all of that being said, I have always had more of a checklist and a routine for my kids in the summer than I do in the school year, because in a lot of ways if I didn't do that or structure my day with some context of structure, things wouldn't get done around the house and my kids would immediately go to screens. So for us, we are a tech loving family and we also do a lot of things outdoors. But I have found in any iteration of the ages of my kids that if I have tour lists or worksheets or a checklist for them to have, it always turns out better for us because kids thrive when they know what is expected of them. They also thrive in having routine and I think that this. I was pretty strict with nap time when I had little ones, even in the summer, and I know that that can get in the way of things, but it's so important for mental health, especially where, for my mental health, if I have a minute to slow down, to reconnect and that was a lot of times when I was doing my work was when we had those slow times, so that a lot of times we were spending our physical time to get out and have fun and be outdoors in the morning getting the chores done. We have an early afternoon slow down time and late afternoon we get back at it and play or whatever it is that it looks like so. So with that, at mymommystylecom I have several free printables and routines that you can use to tailor to fit your family.

Camille: 6:25

I have morning checklists so that you're not nagging 24-7. I have screen time tokens, called star charts, that you can actually print those off and have a reward system. That's something I did with my kids when they were younger. They would earn little tokens for little prizes and candies we would give out on Sundays. On Sundays we still have our Sunday meetings. However, my kids now are more into earning screen time or money because they're older now, so things look different.

Camille: 6:56

But one thing that was really fun, especially when the kids were young, is I would do themed days. I don't know if I'm going to do that this summer or not because my kids are older and, like I said, they have ideas of more what they want to do day to day. But what I mean by daily themes is, for example, we would do something like make something Monday, so we would do something like crafty, and then we would have a water Wednesday. We did something that revolved around water, like maybe going to a water park or a splash pad or bringing out the water table. On Thursdays we would go to the library. On Fridays we would get together with friends and do a park like pizza thing or something where we were going for a hike, but we would try to involve friends. So it was friend Friday.

Camille: 7:47

Having a rhythm day to day gives your kids a sense of control and gives you a little mental breathing room, because how that implements your day is that you can give them something to look forward to, but also not have it be so regimented that every single day is laid out and it has to happen that way, because that will just cause misery. Another thing about this is I like to call it a stretchy routine or a soft routine. One of my coaching clients actually said it best. She said once we started following a soft routine, the whining actually went down and so did my anxiety. So that means we want to create systems that are structured enough that kids can look at something and kind of have a feel for what's going on or have an implementation of what they want to do. But then it also gives you the ability to be flexible with that as well.

Camille: 8:40

One of my favorite things that we've done for years and years and years is we do a summer bucket list family meeting, and what that looks like is we will sit around the table and everyone goes through and says one thing that they want to do for sure that summer. And we'll go around more than once. We'll probably go around like three or four times, and examples of that might be stargazing at the cabin or having sleepovers with the cousins, or going to Bear Lake, which is a lake near us, and getting a shake. They're worldwide known Well, maybe not world statewide known for their shakes there. Or it could be having going swimming at some of our favorite lakes. For me, it's paddleboarding. Paddleboarding is one of my favorite things to do in the summer.

Camille: 9:29

Hey, my friends, just popping in here really quick to say if you are drowning in a to-do list but never actually getting anything done, I hear you. This is the time to take back control of your day, and I've created a product for you, for free, that will help you to do this. It's called the Ultimate Time Audit and Productivity System. It is a free resource to help you pinpoint exactly where your time is going and what you should be delegating. My coaching involves a lot of time spent with business owners who are losing time valuable time on menial tasks that they could either delegate or create a system around, but first needing to understand how their time is being used. So imagine having more time for your family, your business and yourself, without the constant overwhelm. You can grab your free copy in the link below or at camillewalkerco, and start working smarter, not harder. Camillewalkerco is the website, but go ahead and grab that link below and I would love to help you take back your time right now.

Camille: 10:30

So what you do is you go around and you say what each of you really wants to do to make the summer great and I write it on a list. I will then take that list and put it into a summer calendar so that the kids can see that their idea of what makes summer really great is on our list and it makes our calendar. So we make sure that it happens, and it also is a really fun way to motivate in the day-to-day of getting their chores done and helping with the house, that we say hey, let's make sure that we get this done and this reward is this Friday we're gonna go do shakes at Bear Lake or whatever the thing is. So you're implementing their ideas, but you're also including the reward of the day-to-day into making it happen. Here's the thing is when our kids feel like they're a part of the success of the family, of how the house is running, they feel valued and they will be more likely to comply because they help come up with that idea. Okay, let's talk about cleaning for a second.

Camille: 11:35

One of the very best things that I've done, especially now that my kids are a little bit older, is that we will give our kids a zone that they're in charge of for the summer, and that sounds like a lot. I've done it before, where, week to week, I change it, but it just gets really confusing. So you come up with a list of what a zone looks like in your home. So for us, an example of a zone might be the basement is a zone. Another zone is the kitchen. That alone is quite a big one. Another zone might be the living room, family room and shared spaces with the mudroom, and then the fourth zone would be bathrooms. So, depending on how your family structure is, I have a way that I can divide it up and they can be equally weighted. That's what you try to do. And then, of course, granted, if your kids are younger, there are very specific things that they are capable of. So if you go to mymommystylecom, there is a chore list that will show you age, appropriate chores for the age. And, as soon as you can, get them involved, please do, because I think there is an age where they are anxiously engaged and wanting to help you, and that starts at like age two. Or they want to put the silverware away, or they want to change the laundry from one to the other. Whatever it is, encourage that involvement, because at some point you will not have that. It will be a little bit different of a motivation, but I think that kids are always more capable than we give them credit for.

Camille: 13:14

The next thing I want to highlight is to have the systems and delegations to save your sanity. So this is something that we talk about and I was just sharing with the zones but delegation is something that I coach on constantly, especially for women entrepreneurs. We are nurturers, innovators, wanting to do all the things, wear all of the hats, but that is what leads to burnout. So delegation is not only important in your family and in a structure, but it's also very important in your business. So inside my coaching programs I help moms set up systems so that you can stick to finding ways to get your kids more involved, as well as teams for the administrative tasks or the customer service or whatever it is that you're working with. But that also means creating a chore list that is age appropriate so it actually gets done, having a visual schedule so kids know what to expect, and outsourcing what doesn't serve you.

Camille: 14:16

So one thing like that I love to do is grocery delivery. Every Sunday we have our one-on-one meetings with our kids and then I do a grocery list on Sunday night, ordering so that it arrives on Monday morning. This has been game changing for me, because another piece of the delegation I've been working on recently is having my kids help me decide what we're eating for dinner. I don't know about you, but coming up with what's for dinner every night is the bane of my existence after like 17 years, 20 years of doing it every night, and especially when you want your kids to learn how to cook. So one thing that we've been doing that's new and awesome is when I have the kids come in and we talk about one-on-one their goals, what's going good for the week, what they need help with working on. I also ask them what do you want to help cook for your night this week? And they will choose. I will do the grocery shopping and then on that day we'll cook something together.

Camille: 15:16

It isn't perfect. I don't do it every single day, week to week, but I do have a dry erase board where I have their name and the meal that we're eating and we look at it and people know what's for dinner, what's coming up, or if I say, hey, is there something that you missed that I have made in the past that you haven't had for a while. I just asked my son this this week and he said, yeah, actually I would love for you to make your crock pot lasagna. We haven't had that in a long time and that sounds amazing and I was like, cool, I hadn't thought about making that for a long time. So involve your kids in helping make those decisions. One thing about giving up all of that decision fatigue is that your mental load lessens and you're able to reset expectations of yourself and you feel less guilt ridden because when you set your systems, you're able to reset expectations of yourself and you feel less guilt ridden, because when you set your systems, you're not only managing your time, you're freeing your mind and that's what's really powerful about this with including your kids in that, or even your partner.

Camille: 16:16

So my fourth thing I want to talk about today is to have fun. This is your permission slip to be messy. Do the water balloon bites, do the lazy picnic days. I want you to think about seeing your kids laugh, rest and saying yes to the things that they want. Honestly, I think if I ask my teenagers we haven't done the round table yet for this summer because we're still a few weeks of school left, but I can guarantee you the number one thing they want to say it will be sleep. What do you want to do this summer? I want to sleep. I guarantee you that's what they'll say. I am okay with. This is typically what we'll do the first two weeks of summer. I let them do whatever they want. I let them sleep as long as they want. I let them have random meals when they want, when you know it's not like this. More of a structured day After those first two weeks is when we get more into a routine with here's your chore list and this is what we're doing and this is kind of the program, so to speak.

Camille: 17:17

But in those first two weeks we just recover from all of the pressure they're under. Our kids are under a lot of pressure, they work really hard and there's a lot going on and I think that's amazing. So I like to just be a little willy nilly, like those first two weeks. Anything not anything goes. But I'm just a little less worried about the ins and outs of the day and exactly what's happening. But for the rest of the summer I do like to have a little bit more of a routine. But I want to say, with all of this, it's okay if the laundry piles, laundry is piling up or if dinner is cereal. They'll remember that you were there and that you were smiling and that it was a part of just being together and having that time and that space to be a family.

Camille: 18:03

I want you to think about this and if this episode resonates with you and you're ready to create more of a calm routine and confidence in your motherhood journey, let's talk. You can go to my website at camillewalkerco and learn more about my one-on-one coaching how to build systems that help to support you, and I would love to do. I do free discovery calls as well. I can link to that in the show notes here, and there are so many resources at mymommystylecom. That's M-Y-M-O-M-M-Y-S-T-Y-L-Ecom. I have a summer learning series that has themed weeks of things that you can learn and share, books you can read, things you can do as a family. There is so much there literally a decade and a half plus of resources of things that you can do this summer. I want to encourage you and to say that you've got this and to embrace the chaos, lead with love and remember you're doing better than you think, and make sure to tune in to more episodes of Call Me CEO, where I will be sharing more truth, tools and encouragement for you.

Camille: 19:18

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, please leave a comment, please share with a friend. Here we share stories of mothers building businesses, and I, especially, am so honored that you would be listening to this and take the time to be with me here today, so feel free to message me at camillewalkerco on Instagram. I would love to connect with you and we will see you next time. I hope you have the most magical, wonderful summer ever. Hey, CEOs, thank you so much for spending your time with me. If you found this episode inspiring or helpful, please let me know in a comment. In a five-star review, you could have the chance of being a featured review on an upcoming episode. Continue the conversation on Instagram at callmeCEOPodcast, and remember you are the boss.