188: Dancing Through Life’s Challenges: Tia Bee Stokes’ Story of Resilience, Motherhood, and Entrepreneurship

Tia: 0:00

Do what you love and it'll never be work for you ever Like. Do something you love. I don't care if you think it's not going to make you a lot of money, right? If you choose something that you are absolutely passionate about and you love it, you will do it for the rest of forever and it will sustain you for where your needs are met.

Camille: 0:26

So you want to make an impact. You're thinking about starting a business, sharing your voice. How do women do it that handle motherhood, family and still chase after those dreams? We'll listen each week as we dive into the stories of women who know this is Call Me CEO, of women who know this is Call Me CEO. Hey everyone, and welcome to Call Me CEO.

Camille: 0:52

I'm so thrilled for today's podcast episode. She is Tia B Stokes and if you're on TikTok at all, you have to have seen her fight song. She is a mother of five and also a cancer thriver and business owner, YouTuber and TikTok star. She has positivity and light that has reached millions worldwide and she is now sharing her story with you and I just can't wait for her to be on the episode. Make sure that you check out the vault dancecom where she shares her dance for a cause business, and we will have all of the fun links below in the episode notes.

Camille: 1:31

Welcome back, everyone to Call Me CEO. This is your host, Camille Walker. I am so thrilled that we have Tia B Stokes on the show with us today. She and I go way back into old blogging, way back years. We're going to talk about that for a minute, but you probably have seen her way more than you even imagined, because she is a very well-known cancer survivor dance owner and the CEO of the company the Vault Dance, which is a nonprofit company that celebrates movement and dance, and she speaks all over the country. She's just incredible and her story has inspired so many and continues to do so. So, Tia, thank you so much for being on the show today.

Tia: 2:07

No, thank you. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here today, so thank you.

Camille: 2:12

Yes, it's a gift. It really is a gift to have you here. I have been watching and cheering for you from the sidelines for so many years now and I can't wait to share your story with my audience.

Tia: 2:24

Thank you no, and I appreciate that Honestly. Every cheer is what got me through to today, so thank you so much.

Camille: 2:32

Yeah, well, let's, let's roll back the clock a little bit. Can you give us an introduction of who you are, where you live, and kind? Of what got you started in the journey of even loving dance? I would love to hear that, yeah.

Tia: 2:46

So I'm Tia B Stokes. I'm a mother of five. I actually like, when you asked me for like my title earlier, I usually like I don't ever say like CEO, business owner, blah, blah, blah, Like I don't, I don't know, Like it's always just mom of five and you know everything else just gets to fall underneath of that Right, and I say get with. Like all those other things are just bonuses to what my main job is and that's to be a mother. Um, wow, I'm going to get emotional right off the bat. That was weird. But um, yeah, and you know, I started dancing at 10. I uh, come from a big family of seven kids. I'm Hawaiian Samoan, my dad's Hawaiian German, my mom is Samoan German and they had seven beautiful kids and I am the baby of seven.

Tia: 3:34

And all of my siblings, like every single one of my siblings, from Tanya down to Adam, are just like talented. They sing, dance, they play instruments, they do gymnastics, they cook. Cooking's a talent. They do all the things. And my siblings are just incredible like smart entrepreneurs.

Tia: 3:53

They are entrepreneurs and when I was 10, we moved to Utah and you know, coming from a big family, there's not a lot of money, right, like you're just trying to feed the kids. Yeah, and so my sister Irene, she was a dance teacher. She's a phenomenal dancer and naturally talented again, and so she was teaching dance at the time. And so my mom was like you're going to go take dance classes with. Irene, it's free, basically Right.

Camille: 4:21

Get out of my house. We need a minute.

Tia: 4:23

We need a minute minute she can babysit while she teaches you dance too cute. And so I ended up loving it. I fell in love with dance. I mean, all I wanted to do was be a professional dancer. If you asked me what I was doing with my life, I was gonna dance professionally, dance, backup. You know all the things. And, honestly, that's where the seed was planted was with my sister, irene, and thank goodness she didn't give up on me, because there was many times I wanted to quit. There was many times I was crying and I wanted to quit but my mom and dad would say, nope, keep going, you know, go back. And she never gave up on me. And, um, yeah, I grew to love it and ended up having such an awesome like life because of dance.

Camille: 5:11

So, yeah, that's where it started, yeah, so what form of dance were you doing? Were you doing mostly, okay, yeah. Yeah, you're an amazing hip-hop dancer yes, yeah.

Tia: 5:23

So hip-hop's my baby. That's like where I started. And then, of course, like hula, hawaiian dancing, you know cause. You know it's our culture. We put on luau's and stuff as a family. But that was where I started was hip hop was like my baby. And then slowly I started to learn. You know lyrical, I did ballet, I did. You know lyrical, I did ballet, I did. You know jazz. And in college I actually started to fall in love with like contemporary, like that's where my contemporary love came from was when I went into college.

Camille: 5:55

So yeah and were you dancing for the college team at that point, or where did you go to school in dance?

Tia: 6:01

yeah, so I actually I went to well, at 17, so I was going to Hurricane High School from HHS and um and at there was no high school like dance team. Actually, when I was like a junior, I remember I was like the one teaching the dance team and um, so I was trying to just find my space, you know like where I belong. I remember in high school not really feeling like, oh my gosh, I don't even have a purpose here, like I don't, there's not even dance team here. I'm teaching the dance team. I want to be coached, and so my parents let me go to like another high school to try to dance. And then, finally, when I was a senior, um, I remember I actually went to an audition and that's where I had like my first dancing opportunity. Um, I went to an audition and that's where I had like my first dancing opportunity. I went to an audition and it was for Beyonce Knowles Billboard Awards. Like, yeah, wait, what you were in high school? Yeah, I was a senior in high school.

Camille: 6:57

Oh my gosh, how did wait? And you're in Utah Hurricane, I'm in Utah. How did you get the clue about Beyonce? Like, this is such a different world, yeah so it was a friend of mine.

Tia: 7:09

Just a friend of mine told me about the audition and you know like when you're in the dance community it's kind of small, like everybody you and especially when you're trying to. You know, go bigger, make it big yeah.

Tia: 7:19

Yeah, like you kind of create that community and everybody tells everybody, you know what's going on. So a friend of mine had told me about the audition and so I went to the audition and yeah, it ended up being I made it and that was like my first dancing like professional. I got paid, got a paycheck, like dancing for Beyonce at the Billboard Music Awards.

Camille: 7:40

Yeah, so did you get to talk with her, meet her yeah. Or was it? Oh yeah.

Tia: 7:46

I music awards, yeah, so did you get to talk with her, meet her, or was it? Oh, yeah, no, yeah, it was awesome. She's amazing, like I. It was really cool because, um, she came in, we actually were being our choreographers that were nappy taps. I don't know if you know that I know.

Camille: 7:56

So you think you can dance. That's how I know them.

Tia: 7:59

Yes, Tabitha and Napoleon. They were our, which is so crazy because that was so long ago and they're still going strong, you know, um, but yeah, they were the choreographers on the set and so, uh, I remember beyonce came out and she was like, she just like like just in her like sweats and no makeup, you know, just casual, and she's rehearsing the song and her voice is in freaking incredible like, oh my gosh like oh my god this is real.

Tia: 8:29

Yes, this is real. Yeah, like you know, because sometimes you just never know, but yeah, she's the real deal. And then after the set, after we performed, we actually all took like a bus. We got on the bus and I sat right by her and we took like a selfie together it's so cute, I have it in my yeah, we took a selfie together and, uh, we all did like a big like photo shoot on the on the strip and stuff and it was, yeah, she's, she's really nice. Yeah, so that's all good.

Camille: 8:59

So you do that first pro job and then what happens next? Was that like a a domino effect of things happening more?

Tia: 9:05

yeah, kind of I actually. So then you were asking about college. I danced at Dixie State. It was Dixie State at the time and I was dancing at Dixie State at the time during all that because there was no high school dance, right. So it's kind of funny how it worked out, because there it's almost like now that I'm talking about it and I think about it. I'm like, wow, like if there was a high school dance team, I wouldn't have like tried to push more for myself, right.

Camille: 9:35

Yeah, to find more opportunities for myself, you would have just settled right into the normal routine program. Yeah, isn't that crazy.

Tia: 9:43

Like now that I'm like wow, like everything happens for a reason, like I mean to go, yeah, anyways, that's crazy I'm starting to think about. But yeah, so I was trying to find ways to dance and yeah, the college was really my only option on my level. You know where I was at and, uh, that they took me in. I was the only senior, dr Lelay, I've ever let a high school student join the dance company in the college, in the university, so so crazy. But yeah, it was during all that and then, after I graduated early so I could go pursue dancing, moved to LA and I ended up dancing and touring with a, with a company called USA, and I was able to do a lot of like NBA, nfl halftime performances, teach like college and pro you know dance teams and and have so many other fun opportunities through that experience. And I was able to do the NFL pro bowl halftime performance and Jennifer Love Hewitt she was um, the.

Tia: 10:48

It's so funny because Jennifer Love is like one of my good friends now and I know I saw you guys do a live together recently, which is like this is cool, so yeah, tell us about that yeah, so she, um, yeah, it was so funny because I was, yeah, I was young and she was the halftime performance for the Pro Bowl, for the NFL Pro Bowl. What was she? And she sing, she sings, have you heard?

Camille: 11:13

her sing? No, I didn't know that she was a singer, I just think she's beautiful and an actress.

Tia: 11:19

Yeah, she will. She's a singer too, she's amazing.

Camille: 11:22

Of course she is. Her voice is too.

Tia: 11:23

She's amazing, of course she is. Her voice is beautiful, she has a beautiful voice. But yeah, she was the singer for the halftime performance. So I remember we met like you know kind of, you know she was, she's a big star, so it was kind of like back, you know high. But then like, yeah, now we're like good friends and I was like, yeah, I danced as a flower for your halftime performance oh my gosh, and that's crazy too.

Camille: 11:44

Like what are the odds?

Tia: 11:46

wow, I know so yeah. And then, um, yeah, I just had lots of fun experiences and opportunities in the dance industry, which I think is so crazy. Um, now that I look back at it is like I was so young and I always thought, like man, I'm so young, have. And at the time I get it like nowadays it's normal to be young getting into the dance industry.

Tia: 12:09

I mean there's like 10 year olds and nine year olds, right, but when I 20 years ago, 20,- 21 years ago no yeah, that was not a thing, Right, Like you don't get seniors or high school kids like doing that and so it was, uh, yeah, such a crazy experience. But I think about it and I'm like man. At the time I was like man. I'm so young, Like what is going to happen in my life, you know like what's happening, but I'm so grateful for all the experiences that I had because it led me, you know, to what I'm doing today.

Camille: 12:40

So, yeah, oh my gosh. Well, we're just scratching the surface. So you're performing professionally. How did you end up meeting your husband and kind of settling into mother wife role? When did that happen in the story?

Tia: 12:51

Yeah, so I was 21 years old and I came back to St George from California and I was actually only supposed to be here for a little bit. For a little bit of time I was actually I just had met um Jamie Spears, britney Spears, his dad, and um he was working to like, manage me and help me with my career, right?

Camille: 13:15

Yeah, Do you like him? It's have you had? Was it a good experience with him, you know?

Tia: 13:20

I, you know, I for me it was fine, Like it was great. I guess I was still young, I didn't really know a whole lot.

Camille: 13:27

Which that's a big deal. Like Britney Spears, dad, you're like, um, yeah, like you know what's going on, Help me out, yeah.

Tia: 13:33

And to me I mean I don't, I don't, really, I don't, I'm not going to say I know him so great, right before I made my choice, that I was like not going to do that anymore. So yeah, it was like a moment, it was probably like a four month period of time, where it was like working like back and forth and meetings and things, just trying to manage right. And then when I came back to Utah, it was like okay, you're gonna pack up your bags, you're gonna leave back to LA in a week with my brother. My brother, joe, was supposed to go back with me and I was here with my family and you know, at the time I had been struggling with, like um, an eating disorder.

Tia: 14:12

You know I would self-image, um, you know pro um issues that I was having my mental health, and so when I came back to St George, I was just like I need something different, like not that my life was horrible, right, but it wasn't leading me closer to my main goal and that was to have a family.

Tia: 14:33

That was to be married and with my religion, I wanted to be married in a temple and I wanted to have a family and basically I told God that I would do whatever he wanted me to do, basically just gave I surrendered, I surrendered and I just said I want to live my life for you and whatever you want me to do. And I was 21 at the time and I remember people thinking, you know, cause I grew up here in Southern Utah and everybody had seen my journey, and so people just thought I was crazy cause I wasn't going back to LA, you know, because I grew up here in southern Utah and everybody had seen my journey, and so people just thought I was crazy because I wasn't going back to LA and I was going to go work at the Golden Corral A little less glamorous, yeah, yeah, less glamorous, but so fun.

Tia: 15:17

I loved it. And, yeah, I stayed here and worked in. And then that same year I met my husband. So, which is also crazy, because I had been dating, I was engaged twice before and I was not a believer in like getting married really fast. I was a believer in you know, date, date, date, date and then, you know, get married later. And Andy, my husband, was like in between teams at the time he was drafted in the NFL and 2005. And so at that time he had come back to St George and we happened to meet and we met at a barbecue and it was like happened so fast. We went on our first date December 15th, got married, got engaged December 31st and got married January 26th, like within.

Camille: 16:06

A month time yeah, oh my gosh, I thought mine was fast.

Tia: 16:12

I know right, but like it's so crazy because it was that same year that like knew, I just knew, like I just surrendered and I said, do you know, these are the things I want, I want to get married. I are the things I want, I want to get married, I want to have a family and I want to basically do what. I'll be the vessel for whatever you need me to be and I'll do whatever you need me to do. And it's led to my whole life today.

Camille: 16:37

Everything I'm doing now is because of him. Oh, I believe it. I mean, that's one of the things that I admire the most about everything you've done. It's always you me, him, you me and him, like God, and your perspective on having that, I mean really having the larger perspective of that team effort, and that there's a plan for you and I it's. I mean, that's a whole. We need to get into that, cause I'd love to hear what the response has been from literally millions of people that are reading this, and I can only imagine the impact that that has had on so many individuals and what that's meant for them and their understanding of who they are and so I that's. We need to get to that, because that's just incredible.

Camille: 17:20

So, you get married. You're a baby. How old are you at this point? I'm 22. 22. Okay, so you get married. You're a baby. How old are you at?

Tia: 17:28

this point I'm 22. 22. Okay, and so when did you start having kids? Yeah, so I actually had my first kid. It was a honeymoon baby, so I actually had. Like literally 10 months later we had.

Camille: 17:38

Wow, okay, okay, honeymoon, was that? Were you? Was that okay? Were you just like, woohoo, let's do it, or were you shocked? You shocked, or I mean I'm sure there are more than one emotion, but I mean I'm sure I was like, woohoo, let's do it at the time, yeah, yeah yeah.

Tia: 17:52

I think as time it was hard. I mean definitely hard. I went through um because I had been struggling with, you know, eating disorders before I got married and with you know, body image issues and just like lots of body dysformia.

Camille: 18:06

And do you feel like that came from being, like being in the dancing world or what? Because, yeah, body image you're looking I don't know Like what. Yeah, I mean definitely.

Tia: 18:15

I mean, I feel like in the dance world you're just. I mean, back then, for me it was always like comparison, right, because you're always trying to be the best, you're trying to look the best, you're trying to catch the eye, you're trying to dress like everything is about being the best so you can land the job Right, right, yeah, so, yeah, I mean I feel like I don't want to. I'm not going to blame dance, because obviously we were. We have our choices right. We all have our free agency. But I feel like in any sport, in any athletic field you go into or anything that you're doing, anytime you're on a stage at all.

Camille: 18:50

Even now it's like social media is a stage where everyone's looking and seeing and critiquing and comparing. It's just it's on hyperdrive now.

Tia: 18:58

Yeah, exactly, totally so. Um. So when I got pregnant with major, I was still struggling, like not as bad as I was. I had gotten some therapy and help before, but I couldn't like it was really hard. So I went through a prenatal, prenatal depression, which is something that's not talked about a lot with um, with moms or anybody Cause.

Tia: 19:20

I feel like back then I mean, yeah, well, especially well, especially because you know we don't really know what's going on. We just think I'm creating this human, I should be so happy, I should be. You know, this should be like I'm glowing and this and that I'm bringing a baby into this world and it's all beautiful things. But there's so much that's going on, mentally and chemically right, that we don't understand. And yeah, so I I struggled really bad and I remember that we don't understand. And yeah, so I struggled really bad and I remember that first year I actually stopped dancing because, you know, going into motherhood, you just think and be married. You know, I don't know about you, but I feel like the stigma is kind of like oh, you're a mom, you're a wife, that's it, like just that's all you're going to do.

Tia: 20:03

Hand over the keys to the rest of your everything, yeah, yeah, which I don't want to say, that's all you're gonna do, but like there's no room for you anymore, right, like I felt like that was kind of my mentality was like, okay, you're no more dancing, no more anything extra, it's just, you know, you're gonna be a mom and a wife and that's that's your role now. So I was like prepared that, but I wasn't prepared mentally for that. And, um, it was my husband. I remember I actually got so low into my prenatal depression that I tried to not be here anymore.

Tia: 20:38

And I remember I was in my, in my bedroom and, um, my husband came in and he walked in and he just like picked me up off the floor and just hugged me. It was just like, tia, like we, like we can do this. And I remember it was just such a dark but such a little light moment for me. And that's when, you know, andy handed, like he was like, hey, we're going to do this, we're going to do that. There was like tools that he gave me to help me, um, to be able to get through that. But then he also sent me back to dance.

Tia: 21:11

He was like smart man yeah yeah, he was like you need to start calamity backup, because I had already started calamity backup but I quit that. So he was like you need to start Calamity Back Up and go back to dance, and I have not quit dancing since.

Camille: 21:28

And do you think I'm so that's such an interesting moment to pause and consider. Is that processing emotion through movement for you has been such a healing drug? Where it's like monumental, for it's like monumental, for I mean what was to come to? To imagine that, giving that that key back and saying, hey, we're not doing this without that, like that is a part of who you are and that's going to be a part of us, so get back in there.

Tia: 21:56

Oh, yeah, oh my gosh. I mean dance, I mean along with prayer and God and medicine and everybody you know, with prayer and God and medicine and everybody you know all the things. Yeah, dance is what ultimately has kept me going through every, every part of motherhood and the life Like I mean honestly I, when I say I share this on, you know, on social media. Is movement, is medicine Like? Yeah, it really truly is. So. Now it's like and it's helped me with, you know, even my my self, love, you know, issues that I had before, my body dysmorphia, all those things that I was struggling with before my perspective has totally changed. Like it's movement is medicine. Like we just like you, take your meds every day.

Tia: 22:42

you know, but just like you remember to take your meds every day, or your shots every day, or you have to move your body too, like it's the chemical thing that happens that helps us to be able to release those happy chemicals, right, yes, yes, and makes us feel alive, makes us feel energized, makes us feel I don't know, it's just, it's such a thing that I truly have a testimony of. Uh, because, especially now, I mean, can you imagine if I, if I was in the hospital fighting cancer and didn't move my body? Like one of the biggest fighting mechanisms of cancer is movement, like you have to move your lungs, like you have have to make your lungs work to fight the cancer cells? They tell you, you know, so I don't know, I just look at that, just that little, that moment in my first you know, having major, my first baby, and I haven't stopped dancing since, like no matter what it's been the thing that's kept me.

Tia: 23:41

You know I'll have a bad day as a mom at home. You know I'll get really hard on myself, but then I have to go teach a class and I come back a whole new person. Yes, I get in a fight with my husband before I leave and I'm arguing and I come back all happy and fine and able to think clearly and you know, communicate and say I'm sorry and I don't know. It just opens up this whole new realm of like what's important and what's not. And then you come back thinking just like. So much clearer, instead of thinking just what's in the moment, you think about the bigger perspective of everything.

Camille: 24:17

So that's beautiful and I honestly I worry a bit about our generation of children that we're raising, where movement can be so easy to not, do you know, with screens and media and chatting and people not even driving to see each other anymore because you can love.

Camille: 24:34

Language is that you can give your body to move your body, whether it's sports or dance or walking or hiking or whatever the thing is. I I see that I had that conversation actually with my son, where he is in lacrosse now and it's the first sport that he's really enjoyed and it's taken up till high school to find it, and there are days where he'll avoid going and I say but think about how you feel when you come back no matter how you felt before, think about how you feel when you come back.

Camille: 25:12

And he said I know, mom, I always feel better, like almost this submission of I know, fine, yeah, no, I totally agree. I my son, he loves to go just out in the desert.

Tia: 25:21

We live in like a more desert area. It's my son. He loves to go just out in the desert. We live in like a more desert area, it's open and he loves to just go out and look for lizards. You know, go out there almost 16 years old, right, but he loves it. Mom, can I go out to the desert? Mom, can I go? I'm like sure, go like, go like even that, like he plays football and does all the things. But it's always good for them to have that space where they can feel like I can go and move and be free and feel like I have a space for myself, you know.

Camille: 25:52

Yes, yes, I love that. I feel like it's that same way for my kid, where he's like I just want to go look at dig for rocks and look for bones and he's the same age, just like, wants to be out, and I think that's so healing and missing.

Camille: 26:04

I think they're missing that calmness, that stillness of just being out in nature and exploring, like it's so healthy. Okay, so we're going to skip. I mean, give us the synopsis of you know, having babies. You have that baby you get, you're getting through it. At that time was that you went back to dance? Were you taking medication to to help you get through that depressive time, or was that enough?

Tia: 26:29

No, I wasn't at the time. Um, I actually, so I didn't, but that's when my husband was like Tia, you got to write down three things that you're grateful for every single day. So he handed me my grateful journal. Yeah, he said my guy, he's a good one, that guy, and that's you know, and I share him a lot with, like whenever I do podcasts or speak and stuff, because you know I realized like not everybody has an Andy Right, so I share my Andy with you.

Tia: 26:59

I love everybody that needs that support, you know. But, yeah, he, yeah, that needs that support, you know. But yeah, he, yeah, gave me my first grateful journal and just basically said we have to change your paradigm. And changing your paradigm means changing the words that are happening within your head and within your you know what comes out and you know I truly believe you know the words you speak become the house you live in, right?

Tia: 27:20

The things that you think all the time become what you live in constantly. And I was thinking I'm like, can you imagine, like you know, I get a lot of hate on you know, sometimes on my reels and stuff, and I always I feel bad for the people.

Camille: 27:33

So many unhappy people. And you always handle it so gracefully, with so much love.

Tia: 27:39

Because my heart is just so sad for them. I'm like can you imagine like feeling that heavy and that like sad all the time, like I just it breaks. But it's changing that paradigm in your head. And so I would write down three things I was grateful for every day, like it was like my religion, right, and I would say I would write down three. I am statements every day, so like I am beautiful, I am amazing, I am strong, I am courageous, right, things that we all know but we forget. Like we forget these things. They're simple things, but we just forget to do them on a consistent level. And so I did that every day. And then he also had me spend like he.

Tia: 28:24

It was funny because we had this like room in our house that was kind of like just an extra room, so he cleared it all out and he would make me spend like 30 minutes in it every day by myself, like no, like nothing, no phone, no books, no, nothing, just me on the floor, like laying there with my thoughts. And the thing that had to happen within that time, what did happen was that my brain had to relearn how to retrain itself, right, because it was just me learning to be with Tia. It was going back to that, what we just talked about, like learning to just have that space for myself and when I would have like a negative thought, just try to replace it like hurry up and try to replace it with something positive or look for a different way to look at it. You know, yeah, so that was that was pretty crazy, pretty hard, but it was awesome. Like I needed that time to be able to.

Tia: 29:23

I, I mean, and I think back. It's crazy because I think back to that and I'm like man who would have known that, you know, 14 years later I would be stuck in a hospital room, in a room by myself, yeah, with no one, oh my gosh, no one, like during the pandemic, no, except for my nurses and doctors. No visitors, no comfort, no touch. No, it was just me and the lord right like me and my thoughts, me and trying like thank goodness for social media, but like who would have thought like that? Those moments would have prepared me for what I'd be going through years later.

Camille: 30:07

Wow, it was like building a foundation. Honestly, what you were building with your husband were brain performance, psychology, practices of building self-love, that gratitude and that, that stillness of being comfortable in your own space, in your own mind, like it. Really that's incredible, like that, that, that your husband thought to do that and that you were able to do that. I mean, he gave you building blocks but really you built that resiliency and that is monumental with what you went through.

Tia: 30:39

Exactly, and it's it, you know. And the cool thing is is that you know those things that I learned going through that first journey with prenatal depression, right, like, even just like, those three things, right, I started to teach them to my dancers. Like, I took it into my dance studio and now my dance studio, my dancers, they know gratitude is where we start with our lessons, like every teacher starts the lessons out with what are you grateful for? Today, every kid shares their gratitude throughout their class. We have them say affirmations throughout the class. We're saying, wow, I am beautiful, I got this.

Tia: 31:17

We can do hard things, you know, oh, my gosh, yeah, we, I mean. So those things that, like I learned at 22, we are now instilling, I've instilled into my dance studio and to my like, everything I do to be able to help those that are hopefully, you can learn faster than I did, right, like, and they can have those tools. So, even if they don't learn, they don't take dance forever. So, even if they don't learn, they don't take dance forever. They're gonna remember saying the things that they're grateful for. They're gonna remember saying I am amazing, I'm a beautiful dancer, I am, but you know, like, all those positive things that were instilled into their brains at such a young age.

Camille: 31:58

Wow, that's incredible and I think with that, especially doing dance, where you're like looking at yourself all the time and critiquing yourself, and then to still be able to reinforce that positivity, like what a lesson for them. I wish my daughter could. I wish I could go there. Like that sounds so great. I wish my boys could go there. That is such a gift. Oh, I love that so much.

Tia: 32:21

I'm grateful. No, and it's. It's been really awesome. Like I started a group called hot mess fitness, which basically is you know, we're all a hot mess, but we're still beautiful, right, just like my room here, and, uh, I've been doing that for a long time as well. I started that with my studio and it's, when it's all, it's women, moms, basically like a workout group, but we do the same same thing.

Tia: 32:44

I have them say what they're grateful for and before every workout, and we say I am throughout the whole class, and I have them yell them you know, we're doing these hard workouts, you know, yeah, they're saying I got this, we got this, but I tell them I'm like we're exercising that crazy muscle, right, really, though, like we're exercising the crazy muscle, because that's the crazy muscle that's going to kick in when life gets hard. We're working out for life, not just for, not for what we look like, not to be a certain size. We're working out. So, when we get hit with the cancer card, our brain goes you know what? I got this, let's go, I have the tools, I'm going to go in there and fight. And no, it's not an option, you know, and I honestly feel like that's like what it did for me. Like all of that training, all those years, like, oh, I can't even like it just all implemented into my journey. It was a buildup, yeah.

Camille: 33:43

Yeah, but what? Let's talk about that. What. What were the symptoms that you were having? What was your reaction to them telling you you had cancer? What was that moment like for you and your family?

Tia: 34:01

Yeah, so I had just had Rose, my fifth baby little, my little girl, and after I had Rose I was sick, which is like I had a cough, a sore throat. For a long time I had flu-like symptoms loss of appetite, you know, loss of weight without trying, night sweats, throbbing headaches, shortness of breath. I remember I couldn't even breathe, just like talking. Even talking like this would like I couldn't breathe. And finally, yeah, it was April 24th, so next week is like my cancer anniversary. They, yeah, my doctor. Finally. He ran a, not finally, because I was working with other doctors and stuff. And then finally, the guy that we were really good friends with was really good friends with. My husband was a PA and his cute wife, mindy Arnold, was like you got to figure out what's wrong with Tia. There's something wrong. She's been sick for way too long.

Camille: 34:58

How long had you been sick at this point, like how long, yeah, okay, wow.

Tia: 35:04

Yeah, I was sick for seven months and you know you just had a baby, so a lot of the things are just like you're kind of in a fog anyway, and then you have.

Camille: 35:12

This is your fit. So a lot of times, as moms, our attention isn't on ourself, we're just like, yeah, I'm tired, I'm not sleeping, I must just be, you know, yeah, going through it, yeah well, yeah, and I was still like teaching dance classes I had opened up a new.

Tia: 35:25

I just opened up a new studio. It was my second studio up north, you know, in northern Utah. So yeah, there was just like a lot going on that you're just like, oh, I'm, I'm just out of it. Like you know, my body's all out of whack. So, yeah, he ended up running a CBC panel. So a CBC panel will detect, like your white and your red blood cells.

Tia: 35:45

And uh, and yeah, he ended up coming to my house and me and my husband were like sitting on our green couch and he comes over and his eyes were just like bloodshot because he was a good friend of ours. He's a good friend of ours too. And he just said you, um, I sent your you know, your blood work to an oncologist and you have acute myeloid leukemia, you have blood cancer and the pandemic just barely hit. I mean like weeks before the world just shut down. And, yeah, he said that I had an hour to get to the hospital. He said that my blood smears looked so bad that they thought I was already. Asked him if I was in a coma, like coma state, because of how severe I was like how sick I was by the looks of my blood.

Camille: 36:32

So thank God, which was another dancing miracle you know, because I'm like, how are you living and dancing?

Tia: 36:40

And oh my gosh, I was still teaching dance, like I, those seven months I was teaching classes. Every day I would go to the studio and teach class and then I would come home. I remember I'd come home and I'd just be like I couldn't breathe and I would come home. I remember I'd come home and I'd just be like I couldn't breathe and I was just like out of like, just so weak the rest of the day that every day I would get up and I would go teach my class. You know, I'd go teach dance.

Tia: 37:09

I really truly believe like that movement was medicine for my body at the time, without even knowing it, you know. And so yeah, I mean yeah, and that was the day like and it's kind of funny because a lot of you know some cancer stories you hear. You know they're like okay, we'll check in next week and we'll start your treatments and stuff. But mine was like it was that day like immediate hospital right now. Um, yeah. So I packed up a bad bag, said goodbye to my kids, took one last family picture and my husband drove me to the hospital and dropped me off on the steps like a package and we said goodbye to my kids, took one last family picture and my husband drove me to the hospital and dropped me off on the steps like a package and we said goodbye he couldn't even come in with you or help you check in or anything.

Camille: 37:44

No, oh my gosh. No, no, that is terrible. And looking back now I mean we know so much more about COVID than we did then. But for you to just go into that unknown of the pandemic and now having cancer and leaving everyone you love, how did you get through that day and the weeks to come, in the months, like how did you sustain yourself?

Tia: 38:08

Yeah, well, I think you know, yeah, it was really hard. But there was a when I was driving to the hospital with Andy another Andy moment. I look at Andy and I'm just crying, like bawling tears, and I'm like is this it? Like this is my life.

Tia: 38:26

And Andy was like mad at God because he's like, holy crap, she's been dedicating, she's dedicated her life, the last 14 years to people with cancer and other life illnesses and dancing for them all these years right with calamity in the vault, and basically, you know, I've been serving right. And so my husband was just like and how like? How do you give her, like my wife, cancer that she's been serving your children all these years? And and he had this moment where it was just like he just felt it so strongly like it's not about you, there's a bigger purpose, like there's a bigger plan to this, like she's gonna be okay, and so I didn't know he had that moment.

Tia: 39:09

And then, as I'm asking him, like, am I gonna die? Is this it? He looks at me and he looks at me and he doesn't like wipe my tears, doesn't like give me a hug or anything, and he just says Tia, you're a bad mother, trucker, you better pick yourself up and you better go in there and fight and come back home Right. And every time I tell that story, people are like oh my gosh, that's so mean, so mean, you know, but it was that moment that really changed the direction of my fight. Like he could have been like oh yeah, I know, I'm so sorry and cried with me and I could have left, like I mean, because that's all I I got chills all over my body.

Camille: 39:46

I'm like I love that he said that to you, that he was like you got this yes, it was like a strong.

Tia: 39:52

You know his coach, he's a football coach, so yeah, so he kept talking yeah, it was, it wasn't really.

Camille: 39:59

He said the real thing, right, exactly. No, he said trucker. No, he said he did mother trucker. He said trucker.

Tia: 40:06

Okay, okay yeah, he said batting mother trucker. And he was's like you better get in there and fight and come back home. And that was the first time I had ever heard that and I was like, okay, all right, but in my mind it was just like the paradigms yeah, shifting that gear yeah, it goes back to the paradigms.

Tia: 40:24

It goes back to shifting that gear, to going yes, I am, I can do this, I will, I'm gonna go in there and fight and I'm gonna get back home. I gotta get back to my kids. Like, instead of me sitting there and dwelling in the oh my gosh I am, oh my goodness, I'm so good, I'm cancer, you know like dwelling in that it almost like turned on a switch for me to go, okay, there's no other option. Like I have no other option but to get in there and to fight and get back to my kids Like I don't see it any other?

Tia: 40:55

way Does that?

Camille: 40:55

make sense, Like I don't see it any other way. Yeah, I mean, especially as a mother and having that like all of your heartstrings and every bit of that of you wanting to come back to that and that that's where you wanted and needed to be, to be. That is such, I feel, like any even in mother nature. I get really emotional watching mothers protecting their, their young and their babies, because there is so much instinctual but there is also so much your wholeness is surrounded in them, where it's you want to protect them, you want to love them, you want to be with them and I I can imagine leaving my babies and having that instinctual like I have to come back, I have to be here.

Tia: 41:36

Like there's no other option, yeah, no other option but to fight like hell and to get back home, you know, and that was really the turning, that was the moment where it just turned the whole game around, like I call it again. You know, like literally, it was like, okay, we're going to step onto this field and this is it, like I only have one option is to win and that's it. And I think that just changed the perspective of everything for me, like everything from, instead of it being like a hard moment in my life and I turned it, we, I looked at it as an opportunity, like an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to become even better, better, an opportunity to help those, even through the internet, through the screen, you know, like I would get up and dance every day to, you know, for myself to fight right, for my own physical fight, yeah, but then also, it was a way for me to be able to still show people that there was hope and faith and light in such a hard time.

Camille: 42:34

Yes, during the world. It was such a focus of hard. So I'm curious with TikTok, because had you been sharing on TikTok previously, or did you? Was it not until you got to the hospital that you're like, okay, I'm doing this, like what? When did you decide to start sharing? And doing your song.

Tia: 42:54

I mean, you have a song? Yeah, I have a song. Yeah, I actually started TikTok before I got diagnosed. So TikTok I think it barely turned into TikTok from musically, like in January or something like that.

Camille: 43:07

Gary V called it. He's like that's the next social media. You got to be on it. And my husband actually started an account before I did, when it was musically, yeah, yeah.

Tia: 43:17

Yeah, so it was musically, and then so, right as it was switching to TikTok, that's when I got on and, yeah, I used to TikTok with Rosie. Rosie was a baby and she was like connected to my. That's how people that followed me before cancer, that's like how they know me is like I used to watch you with your baby dancing, connected to your belly, like I'd have a little carrier and I'd be dancing with her and um, yeah, so I started TikTok, like before, and I was like slowly growing. You know it was slowly whatever, but I was just loving, it was just fun for me. Um, and then, which was also funny because, like right before I, like days up until I was diagnosed, I was doing Tik TOKs like every day. I was so sick but I'd be like, oh my gosh, but I want to do a Tik TOK.

Camille: 43:59

It's so fun you know, so I get ready put on makeup, do my hair Just like it was.

Tia: 44:04

I look at that, too as like medicine, like that was. I know it sounds so silly, but it was something that I looked forward to and I was like, oh my gosh, okay, I'm gonna do a little fun video. And uh, yeah. So I started. So when the doctor came to be in the hospital was like, hey, you gotta fight, like you gotta get up every day, you gotta walk for at least 15 minutes or do some kind of form of exercise to fight the cancer cells in your lungs, like that's how you fight it. And so, yeah. So I was like I'm a dancer, I'm going to do a TikTok. So I would literally learn the TikTok dances in my bed and then I would just get up and record it one time and then that was it. Like that was all I had energy for and that's when you know you're a good dancer.

Tia: 44:46

Cause I had done a few dances out there and I'm like okay.

Camille: 44:49

I need to record this like 50 times. I'm like an hour into a workout. I'm like, okay, well, there's my workout for the day. So yeah, that's amazing.

Tia: 44:56

It was so fun. I get my nurses involved and my doctors involved.

Camille: 45:03

I mean, it became a movement. I mean watching that and then celebrities started getting involved and other people, and I feel like there were so many people and I feel like there were so many people I mean, if not everyone that was there is looking for some sort of hope or what's going to happen when we're out of this. And it was almost like this mirror representation of not only you alone, but then also this collective of like. Are we alone? What's going to happen? I have this despair. When did that change? I mean, gosh, I don't even know what question to ask with this, because what are some big moments that happened during that time that helped you to continue to create these videos and to continue to fight Like? What are some standout moments for you with that?

Tia: 45:47

Yeah, I mean, oh my gosh, I have so many. But yeah, like you said, which was? Which is another crazy thing because, you know, at 21 I started calamity and we had been dancing for people all like all over with cancer and other illnesses.

Camille: 46:03

I didn't know you started that so young.

Tia: 46:05

That yeah, nonprofit that was the same when I talked about how I told God like I'll do whatever he wants me to do, I started climbing that thing here, yeah, how I told God like I'll do whatever he wants me to do, I started climbing that thing here, yeah, oh, my gosh, okay, so, um, yeah, which I? That's why I have no other way to like explain it except for through the him, you, me, we, because that's that's really my life, right, and so I've been dancing for people all these years. And then, and the other day I did another podcast, another interview, and they asked her like did you know that was going to happen? Did you know like all those people were going to come and dance for you or dance with you? And I said no, like I.

Tia: 46:40

Honestly, that's not even what was going through my brain when I started dancing on TikTok or even just like you know, when I got diagnosed I was just dancing to try to share updates or share. You know I was because I was already sharing like, like little messages with my dances, and I think that was what was so different with my TikTok you know dances, because every time I post a dance video, it was with a message, like some kind of positive message or you're beautiful, or some kind of just. I always wanted to hype people up Right and so, yeah, and then people all over the world started joining in and duetting and dancing and I had this moment where I was like, oh my gosh, like what is happening right now, like so crazy to see people all over the world, just like in a time when it was so sad we're, we're the world collectively right, like for the first time, everyone going through the same thing.

Camille: 47:43

Yeah, how does that even happen? Like?

Tia: 47:45

everybody is basically stuck in their houses, miserable. We're all going through this together is you see this girl that's going through cancer, you know, chemotherapy, transfusions, losing her hair, dancing and coming together and bringing like we're all? It's not me, but it's him and it's we that we're all bringing that love and support and kindness and happiness and light in such a hard time as a world collectively. Like I think back at that and I'm like like millions, like like millions of people, right, yeah, so yeah, it brought so many awesome opportunities. I mean I got to.

Tia: 48:29

I did a show with Rachel Ray um on on her her. I was a guest on her show. I was zooming with, like Charlie, the D'Amelio family, which now the D'Amelio family is like are good friends of mine. Like I talk to Heidi daily. Um, I just actually just filmed something with them last week. I mean Jennifer Love Hewitt reached out and we became now we're really good friends. I mean I've been able to.

Tia: 48:56

I mean Allison, I mean so many awesome people that have come to be a part of my life and such a hard time, but now I've gained so many great friendships and you know, at the end of this life, really I don't know. I was raised, my dad always talked about that. So I think my perspective is just a little different is that I always think about like the end of my life, like at the end of this life, and what I get to take back with me is nothing, none of this stuff, not my clothes, not my hair, not, not my jewelry, not nothing, right, not my car. But we get to take our relationships and the people that we've met here on this earth and for me I think about like that journey and I'm like, wow, or even the dancing for a cause thing that I get to do. My mission now, you know, is everything is building those relationships that essential are, for those are the true treasures when we leave this earth. So it's brought. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing.

Camille: 49:57

So cool Now. I mean, here on this podcast we talk a lot about motherhood too, and I know that your primary relationships, that you treasure more than anything is your kids, and during that time how did you maintain connection with them? And still, you know you're such a positive person and that's an obvious thing, and I, from the watching your children and the way you interact with them, I actually was sharing with my teenage son how you shared about going on the one-on-one date and how they think you're dating now and he did. We just went out and they thought that my son's a lot bigger than me now too and they're like oh, I thought you were his sister and I'm like, thanks, you know, but it's so fun, like being a mom, it's the best.

Camille: 50:37

And yeah, it really, it really is. And you have these five darling children. What do you think they learned through watching you?

Tia: 50:46

Oh, my gosh, my kids are the most resilient. I mean they are stronger than me and they put me in check, like they're the ones that my son oh, sorry, I'm going to cry, cause every time I talk about my kids I cry but, um, my oldest son, major, the one that's in that video which I get so much, it's funny because you know I get so much crap Every time I do a video with him.

Tia: 51:09

I get so much crap about it, like I don't know if it's just because I look young and he looks old or what like yeah, but it might. Yeah, it's weird, but he is so resilient, like there's days like this you know I'm on social media. A lot of people talk. You know their friends talk and their friends know they all have my kids don't have phones or anything and so they don't really see anything except for when their friends talk about it. So you know they'll come home and say, oh yeah, my friends were all you know making fun of me and blah, blah, blah. And you know, just teasing, it got like boys do, as they do yeah, oh yeah, and uh, they were.

Tia: 51:48

And so I'll ask them I'll always check in with my kids like, are you guys okay with it? Like, like do you want me to quit? Like do you want mom not to do social media anymore? Do you want me to just not do it? Like I'll just do the mom, like we could just do the mom thing. And that's great too. And my boy major is like mom, why would you do that? Like we're not quitters, we don't quit in this family. And and I was just like, oh my gosh, he's like mom, you're helping so many people. Like, why would you quit? And not, what are you going to do? Like you know, that's all he knows.

Tia: 52:22

Is that aspect of my life, through Dance for a Cause, through Calamity and through social media, is helping people? And so, yeah, my kids are. They're just so strong and I think and I always tell moms and you know, whenever I get to speak and share with women is like we are the biggest influence for our kids and it's not what we say but it's what we do. And I watching my kids grow up, especially in this phase of their life you know my two oldest ones that are teenagers now and watching them become adults, right. Essentially, they're going to be adults in a couple. In a few years, I'm going to have an 18 year old. I think I'm like, wow, he like my 15, soon to be 16 year old, is so much better than I was. I mean, I moved out of my house at 16. I was a rebel child, right, and I look at him and I'm like, oh yeah, he's not going anywhere.

Camille: 53:25

You're like you need to stay here.

Tia: 53:27

He's just so sturdy. Like he's just so sturdy he knows his brain is so just like on the right path. Like he knows like how to help people. They know how to jump in and be a part of things, they create friendships. Like it's cool when you can hear your kids say the things back to you and teach you, you know, because we're all human, we all have those moments.

Tia: 53:54

But I remember having a moment at the hospital when I was going through COVID and COVID and cancer and I was put in complete isolation right at this time for like two months and, uh, I hadn't left my hospital room for 28 days and stuck in that room, couldn't even go out in the hallway, and it was the first time I saw my kids and but I couldn't touch them, I couldn't hug them or anything, but I could just stay like six feet away From them and they were in the van. They were like in our van on the street and I was kind of like on the sidewalk. I remember my son. My son, legend, was like mom, we miss you way more than you know, and but to hear your kids like be empathetic, like that you know, to hear them like I mean, my son was. I think he was like 10 at the time, and so to hear him just say those words that his mom needed to hear, you know, because going through that too, you also start to feel like everybody else can do it better, like you just feel like like almost like you go back into being a baby, like everyone's taking care of you and you can't do anything and you can't do the role as a mother that you were doing, like you can't do everything that you were doing. So you also start to feel like, oh well, they have grandma, they have auntie Kelsey, they have dad. They don't really, you know. So to hear my kids just feel that empathy and that sympathy for their mother and to say those things without being told right, was just such a huge moment that I think that built all of us as a collective. And you know, but my kids I mean Rosie even will be like mom, you, we can do hard things, mom, we got this and I truly believe like it's just made our family so much stronger and given us all a bigger perspective. And yes, we're still.

Tia: 56:06

You go through those, you know, relearning things. You know, through our relationships, like even still with my teenagers, I feel like, you know, they were the oldest, so they struggled the most really, because, yes, I left Rosie at seven months old but and I was away from her but she doesn't really remember a whole lot, right, right, but my older ones, they they remember and they remember that feeling of emptiness and loneliness and not having their mom there. And so I think, even still to this day, and I'm sure for a while, we're still relearning those relationships and gaining that connection back. But their resilience is just so incredible, just amazing, and constantly teaching me all the time.

Camille: 56:55

Wow. Well, that just speaks volumes of the way that you've raised them, you and your husband, together. You know that they can be there in that moment and to be literally a support unit where it's not just you, it's them, it's everything.

Tia: 57:11

Yeah, well, I think it's them watching their dad too, you know like watching my husband, like I think about my husband too and I'm like man, I'm not, I'm not an easy thing, I'm not an easy human to deal with, you know, from the get go, but then, but then to hear, like you know, everything that's happened since we've been married, and I always look at him, I'm like thanks for never giving up on me, like thanks for never just easily. I mean how easy it could have been just be like man. This is really hard I'm, I'm done, I can't do this anymore, you know. But how like I think they learned that from him, like the resilience, you know, and the strength and watching him, watching him, I mean he would coach his high school football team he was the head football coach plus teach high school. Then he would come home, pack up the kids, drive them an hour to the hospital just to just to stand outside, you know, on the corner, and my room was like eight floors up. They couldn't really see me. I would just like flash my blinds so they could see where I was at.

Tia: 58:31

So it's like I don't feel like it's me, I feel like it's we, all of us but that raised children, right, yeah, yeah, it takes a community. It takes people, the people that surround are surrounding your kids too. I mean for them to watch their dad to do that you know all the things he was doing and then to watch the community come together and help with our house when it was black mold and my sensation cause I couldn't come home, you know to watch people serve and love and people love them when I couldn't. I mean it really is. When they say it takes a village to raise kids, it really does, like, truly does.

Camille: 59:12

So I think that that's just thinking about the perspective of having built support for other people going through things like this for so many years and then to be on the receiving end of that. Yeah, what a gift you are to have built an infrastructure that people can do that and to rally around people, because I can't imagine what that must feel like to think now what you know, with everything mom's handle and the many that invisible weight they call it, or the mental load. There are so many ins and outs and getting people where they need to go and fed that yeah, totally what a gift that you have, that you built that, I mean, and to be a receiving, on the receiving end of that. I kind of think of anyone more deserving, so I'm so grateful that you had that.

Tia: 59:58

That's thank you, no, and I'm truly grateful and, yeah, I just I know, and I think about that whole journey and I think about like, wow, like so many people came together, but's. But it all goes back to the relationships, right, like I had put, I think all those years, since I was 21 years old, I had put so much emphasis and love into all those relationships, whether I was, you know, dancing for them or serving them through dance or fundraisers or, you know, community outreach like that was my sole purpose, and so it truly is. It really does matter, like it does matter and I always talk about that with business. You know, when it comes down to talking business, it's like your relationships is where it's at, like build those firm. It's I'm sorry, but like it's not all about what you know, it's who you know and who you are loving Like.

Camille: 1:00:54

I love that.

Tia: 1:00:56

Who you are loving like, and that means everyone. And when people see that you know they build that trust. Yeah, it's built that love, they build that. And then people want to work with you.

Camille: 1:01:10

Yes, because it's about who it is. Yeah, not what it it is or how many followers they have, or I can't imagine, I cannot imagine I have like the tiniest following compared to what you're dealing with. I cannot imagine the amount of requests even, and having to manage that load, let alone everything else, like how did that transform your business in ways of influence and your business and everything else? I mean that's a whole other side of this.

Tia: 1:01:39

Yeah, it is, but honestly it's been such a blessing. I feel like, you know, with my business, you know the vault, the vault is my business, calamity is my nonprofit. And then I have Tia B right and I feel like, um, it's honestly like the vault and calamity is like my. Well, I feel like I'm so grateful because it's all my passion, like yes, I feel like you know, what we talked about this whole time is like hyping people up, helping people.

Tia: 1:02:07

I feel like I that's my purpose on social media as well but it's just been so amazing because I feel like my experience with you know my cancer journey, everything that I've been through I've been able to take it and it's not, it's not a struggle, it's not a sad thing, it's been a triumph. You know how they say that like you turn your struggles into a triumph, right, and I honestly can say that's what it's been Like. It's been such an opportunity. And I call it an opportunity because now I get to travel for my career, to speak and share my story, like and I always, you know, when I started speaking and I'd go into like universities and things, and Andy would be like I'd be like, oh my gosh, like I, I barely graduated high school, you know and he's like, like Tia, they don't want you for your brains, like they want you for you. And for your story.

Camille: 1:03:07

He's like for everything you've already done. Yeah.

Tia: 1:03:09

Yeah, he's like like only you can tell your story, what they want, like that's what they hired you for. So it's been so like I'm still learning and I'm still growing, which I love, that of becoming, you know, constantly becoming. But, um, now it's like I get to put on conventions, my becoming conventions every year. That's's like my baby, you know, my speaking convention that I get to put on and then I get to be a part of so many different organizations. I mean, it's just opened up so many doors for my career, if you want to call it, I guess.

Camille: 1:03:46

But oh, absolutely, I mean, I'm listening to this and going, okay, you're professional speaking, you have your dance conventions, you have your nonprofit, you have your influencing, you have. I mean, this is a lot Like how are you managing all of that? And motherhood, what has been the key for you?

Tia: 1:04:04

So the key for me is get help.

Tia: 1:04:07

Yeah, I can tell any month, don't do it by yourself. And actually I was just talking to my assistant about this the other day. I said, you know, the way to grow is to let go. And I know that sounds so weird because you're like, oh my gosh, and I know a lot of moms and women are very micromanagers and we want to have our hands in everything right, we just want to do everything. But the way to grow is to let go, like sometimes you have to let go of things to be able to let other people help and let other people step in and be like, okay, well, I can do this, I'm really good at this, so I'll manage this for you. Okay, I'm really good at this, I can do this for you.

Tia: 1:04:47

And sometimes it's letting go of money. You got to pay a little here, you got to pay a little there to be able to grow a little more. You know, like, I truly believe in that, so I do. I have a. I have a partnership manager. Um, she's awesome. She handles all my brand partnerships and brand deals and all that side.

Tia: 1:05:06

And then I have an assistant that helps me on, you know, with social media, or with um editing or with like bookings, um, with my speaking stuff, you know, with social media, or with editing, or with like bookings with my speaking stuff, you know booking all that. And then I have, you know, my studio has a whole staff there. Like it's funny, because when I started my studio I was teaching pretty much all the classes. It's like everything right. I had to grow there too. Like that's where I think I learned that.

Camille: 1:05:32

Yeah, you can't do it all yeah.

Tia: 1:05:35

Because I had to learn. It was really hard for me to like let go of class. I love teaching, I love it, I love it, I love it. And that was really hard because I was like, oh my gosh, but these are my babies and oh my goodness, I want to teach all the classes. But as as life changes and as my kids got older and as I started having more kids, I had to learn to like let go and let other people and you know letting other people fill in for you, or you know duplicating yours.

Tia: 1:06:03

My brother used to always say this too about business Once you've learned how to duplicate yourself, you're succeeding. Like, if you can duplicate yourself and create more of you right in your work environment or in your business, like good, freaking job, because that's hard to do. So I feel like before social media and before before all this stuff you know was going um, I got to learn that with my studio first. Like I got to learn that with my studio first. Like I got to learn with letting go, letting other people teach, letting you know training teachers up, and so now it's just like my studio basically runs itself. I teach like a couple classes a week and then I have so many amazing people that are on my team that help me with my brand, my TV brand, to my speaking, to traveling, teaching all the things, and then I have an amazing husband and family and, yeah, it's been awesome.

Camille: 1:07:06

Well, there's two things that I want to focus on here. Is that this didn't happen overnight on here is that it this didn't happen overnight. It was very much. You learned a concept of how to let go to grow with within the dance studio, and this success has been built upon that understanding, and then it was step-by-step, and that you found ways to help do this is when I do coaching for women in business.

Camille: 1:07:30

I talk to them a lot about what are the things that only you can do, Not what are you good at, or what are what have you been proficient in. But what, especially for someone like yourself who has so many multifaceted pieces of what you do? There are things, literally, that require your face, and then there are others that do not, and so you need to consider what are those things? Where is it replaceable? Where is there a space that maybe even someone else could do something better than you could? You know where they have a specific training for whatever the thing is bookkeeping, for example, or any of those other things. So I think that's really evident that you've done it that way, because otherwise you couldn't sustain it. There's no way you have to have help. There's no way.

Tia: 1:08:15

Yeah, there's no way, and you know that's it's. It's a hard thing to learn and it takes a lot of like being able just to trust people, and sometimes you, you feel I mean sometimes you get burned.

Tia: 1:08:26

Yeah, yeah, yep yep, you're gonna get burned. It's just, that's just what happens. Like, yeah, it's just part of it's, part of um. I think it all goes back to that. Like you know, you just got to be resilient and remember your why. I think, no matter what business you're in, I always tell people you know with businesses, like, do what you love and it'll never be work for you ever. Like, do something you love, I don't care if it, if you think it's not going to make you a lot of money, right, if you choose something that you are absolutely passionate about and you love it, you will do it for the rest of forever and it will sustain you for where your needs are met right. And if you do something you love and you truly love it, of course you're going to be passionate about it and of course you're going to put more into it. And of course you're going to put more into it and of course it's going to help build you right Financially.

Tia: 1:09:14

So, I, just I, I a hundred percent believe in that, because I feel like sometimes we lose the passion for things because we're so drawn by the wrong motive.

Camille: 1:09:23

Right, yes, the shiny object. The shiny object, yeah. So I'm curious. I love that advice and I'm curious where you are right now, now you're, you're in remission, and how long has. Tell us, like where you are physically with that.

Tia: 1:09:40

Yeah, so I am three years in remission. So I know, yeah, yeah, I'm so excited, but it's so awesome and I'm thriving. I mean, I feel great. I'm going through um graft versus host disease, which is after transplant, after a transplant so I had a bone marrow transplant. Um, they basically it's your donor cells that attack your body. They attack like all your large organs and things like that. So they have me on. I take like chemotherapy every day. So I take two doses of chemo every day and then I just got in pill form.

Camille: 1:10:15

Is that a pill form?

Tia: 1:10:16

Yeah, Oral chemo and then, yeah, I'm, you know I'm living. We just barely moved to Southern Utah, which was another. I mean, this goes back to my kids because, you know, after everything we had been through up North, I was just really pulled to be able to put my kids around people that love them, and my husband, like I feel like I received a lot of which. I know my kids and my husband received a lot of love, but I know it was a lot more stress on them than even myself, you know, throughout that whole time. And so we decided that we to move back to St George, Southern Utah, because you know, all of my family's here, all of my brothers and sisters and their kids and these parents are here and our whole motive was just to have them be around family like to be around people that love them, that can, like I said, your village, right?

Tia: 1:11:08

Yes, so creating a village for them where they can feel safe and loved and protected and supported through everything that they're going to be going through. And that was like our main main objective on moving back. So we're back in southern Utah and I'm back with my studio here. I'm a full time mother, I'm running my kids all over the place for their activities, which I love. I love that I get to do. I mean, and that's the thing is like as an entrepreneur, like I get to do that Like, yeah, I have people that run the studio, they teach, you know, they do all the things there. I have people that run my social media stuff and help me there and then I get to fully be at the games and stuff, unless I'm unless it's like the face thing where I'm speaking Right and I'm- just fun to mix that up, yeah, yeah.

Tia: 1:12:00

So, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty cool, and an awesome experience that I get to have is to be able to, you know, still be a part of, like I don't know in such a big way, of sharing my story and speaking and traveling and teaching, but still, when I come home, I get to be full on just mom, like I come home. Every time I'm home I'm just mom, like I just get to do all the mom things.

Camille: 1:12:24

So, oh well, you are doing it beautifully, watching you do. The balance of it all is just, it's inspiring to me, and one thing I mentioned before that I wanted to come back to is the balance of it all is just, it's inspiring to me, and one thing I mentioned before that I wanted to come back to is the inspiration of your faith and that you share that consistently. What has been maybe a quick story that you can share of that influence that you've had with sharing God and your faith and what it means to you and the journey that you've had.

Tia: 1:12:50

Yeah, Well, this goes back to the. You know, when I was in the hospital, that second time I mean not the second time, but the second day I was in there and you know, people started sharing my story online and stuff I would get I remember I was in the hospital, I was by myself again always and I opened up my Instagram and the messages were just coming in and people were just saying you know, tia, I never wanted to pray before, I never wanted to have a relationship with God before, I never wanted to. You know, go to church, whatever church they were a part of, you know, whatever religion or whatever. And they said now I want to like now.

Tia: 1:13:27

I'm praying because I'm praying for you. I want to have a relationship with God and Jesus Christ, and it was just such a moment that that was the opportunity right, like the opportunity was there that I was able to bring people closer to Christ and closer to our heavenly father through my opportunity right Of cancer. And so for me, that was like that was that, was it, like that's what we needed, and so the him you me, we, you know, I share at the end of every post, every real or tiktok is, you know, with him, you, me, we, we got this like we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us. And it's been cool to see people that even aren't like and not you don't even have to be my religion or whatever really doesn't matter right, but there's such an open for everybody that I've heard people say like, oh, I want to get it tattooed on me.

Tia: 1:14:24

You know, like, I want to get it tattooed on me. The hymn yeah, it's like an anthem. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's become like a strength for a lot of people, like it's really really cool to see that faith exercise in so many people, no matter, like I said before, like no matter who, what, where, what you know, like yeah we all need a bigger perspective, and I think that that's that gift that you were giving is that it's.

Camille: 1:14:54

It's more than just you, yeah, and your story is bigger than what you can see with your own two eyes, and I think that that message is so impactful and I'm so grateful for it.

Tia: 1:15:06

And I'm so grateful that you have shared your story on our show.

Camille: 1:15:09

I feel like I could talk to you forever but I know you're so awesome.

Tia: 1:15:14

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so great. Sorry to cry like that.

Camille: 1:15:18

Like are you kidding me? Oh my gosh, I am just so grateful that you're willing to go there. And there's actually two questions I ask every guest. I didn't prep you with this, but the first is a motherhood moment, something that happened recently in your life that's been really special, whether it's, you know, a funny anecdote, something your child said, or something special that you have experienced in your life recently as a mom. That's the first one, okay, okay, the second one. I'll let you think about that for a second. And the second one is what are you reading, watching or listening to?

Tia: 1:15:52

What am I reading, watching or listening to? What am I reading, watching or listening to? Oh man, OK, so the first one is actually just this morning I was doing so. I cold plunge every morning, for you know my disease and stuff?

Camille: 1:16:03

Do you have a special bath, like a special outdoor one, or what do you do? I do yeah, yeah yeah, yes, I do.

Tia: 1:16:10

And my cute little rose, she's so cute. She's like what's that? Is she five or four? Yeah, okay, yeah, but she flew to my hip, she does everything with me, she does everything and um, so I was doing it and it was just so cute because she's like mom, we can do hard things. Come on, mom, we're gonna do this together.

Camille: 1:16:30

It was just such a cute little moment that does. She come plunge with you?

Tia: 1:16:34

well, she just sticks her feet in, you know, okay, okay, yeah. But she's just like, um, yeah, it was just such a cool moment to hear her say those words, like I said back to me, but, um, yeah, I, just I live for those moments and they remind me, like what you're, we're fighting for, you know. And then the other thing is is what, what I'm reading, what I'm watching, what I'm listening to? Right, um, what I'm listening to is, uh, what am I listening? Oh, um, I'm listening to. Oh, my gosh, I listen to everything, guys, I listen to all your listeners here, so give it to me.

Tia: 1:17:09

I know I'm'm but I mean it's mostly music. I mean I'm a big music girl because I dance, so I'm always jamming out to music in my home or in my car, always uplifting just fun music. Um, I think right now I'm trying to think stat, you wouldn't even know the song because it's like back in the 80s. So 80s music, try it.

Camille: 1:17:29

Give us, give us something you love oh, okay, um, it's called rock steady oh, I know, rock steady oh, you do yes, yeah, I'm the youngest of five, so that was like my oldest sister was listening to that and I was pretending to be as cool with her. Yes, to be as cool as her, that was me too.

Tia: 1:17:47

That was me too. And then watching. I actually don't watch a whole lot of things. I know that's so bad, but I think I'm going to watch, so you Think you Can Dance. I know it just started yesterday or it's on Mondays.

Camille: 1:17:58

Ooh, I didn't know that. It kind of went dipped for me for a minute. I love it. I know Me too. I don't know All the OG choreographers. When they left I was like what is this.

Tia: 1:18:13

Yeah, what is this? Yeah, me too. I was a big, so you Think you Can Dance. Fan when Alison Holger was on the show.

Camille: 1:18:16

I love Alison. Love, love, love, love her. That was my favorite season?

Tia: 1:18:18

Oh yeah, mine too Hands down, so I've been. But I got to meet a lot of the dancers, like a couple weeks ago with JoJo Siwa, when I went and did that thing with JoJo.

Camille: 1:18:27

Siwa, yeah, yeah yeah, so yeah, it might be fun to watch that, but we are me and.

Tia: 1:18:31

Rosie are huge Dancing with the Stars fans. We love Dancing with the Stars, so we watch that. And yeah, I don't. Yeah, Anything you're reading, I read. You know what I need to read more? But I read the Bible and the Book of Mormon.

Camille: 1:18:47

So there you go Very cool. Well, I feel safe to say that this has been absolutely incredible. You are amazing. Please let us know where we can support you, follow you, help you be a part of this community.

Tia: 1:19:01

Yeah yeah, you can follow me and be a part of it on at the tia b stokes, so, and that's on tiktok, instagram, youtube, instagram, youtube, or, you know, my studio, the vault dance, on Instagram or on our website. But yeah, so yeah, we'd love to have everybody in, all the people, anyone that wants to be a part of the things we do, we're welcome to it.

Camille: 1:19:24

So are your cool merch? Are you still selling merch too?

Tia: 1:19:27

I am. We actually have a drop. So my diagnosis date is the 24th of this month, so I'm actually launching a big drop, a brand new drop, which is awesome because I designed it with Andy and it's mostly for like, I mean, it's for the boys and for the girls and for the world, that's like the thing. So it's fun because the pieces are like for the boys too, which I love, um, but yeah, so April 24th it's gonna drop and it's going to be awesome.

Camille: 1:19:55

So well, I've got to get this one edited quick then, so we can have it go live and talk about it.

Tia: 1:20:00

All right, well, thank you.

Camille: 1:20:01

Thank you, love you. This has been incredible and thank you all for listening and please share this episode if you think it would be helpful. Every share helps and we appreciate it so much. So thank you so much and we'll see you next time. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode.

Camille: 1:20:19

Remember that if you are looking for any extra help or guidance, I'm actually offering a group coaching, now called CEO. It is using brain performance psychology to help you reach and obtain the goals that you've been wanting to use, actually using brain science. A lot of what we talked about in this episode is using the mechanisms of gratitude, repeating the things that we love that light us up and also help you to get where you want to go. This is going to be a group of high performing, high achieving women. It's going to be networking, masterminding and also in-person and Zoom trainings. If you are interested, please email me at callmeceo at gmailcom. There's also a link below to the website CEOco. Can't wait to see you there. Hey, ceos, thank you so much for spending your time with me. If you found this episode inspiring or helpful, please let me know in a comment. In a five-star review, you could have the chance of being a featured review on an upcoming episode. Continue the conversation on Instagram at callmeCEOPodcast, and remember you are the boss.